Keeping up NOT Competing

 "We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong, the amount of work is the same." Carlos Castandeta

Us four standing up all cheering for Amanda at Ode. 

A few more than 50 days till Run Rabbit 50 miler. I am approaching peak week here shortly, consisting of even more miles, more sweat and more suffering. 

This is the time when training and life become a balancing act. Life doesn't get any easier at 49 trying to juggle work, training, family, and daily adulting. 

The problem with 49 is that I am working harder to just maintain my level of fitness and still dream BIG. At 49 seeing "gains" is a place I can journey as long as I lift the requirements I had in my yesterdays. 

At 49, I have to be more intentional about my recovery, both in rest and nutrition. 

At 49, I have to embrace my training with contentment. Finding joy even when I miss the mark. 

At 49, I have to learn to give myself more grace on my runs. I am learning to let go of being so hyper focused on my pace and learning to let those numbers go. 

This weekend, Andy and I were at Holly Rec camping, volunteering and running. One morning we slept in and didn't start our run until late morning. By the time we started we were already sweating just from tying our shoes! 

Andy wanted 8-10 miles but of course all I heard was 10 MILES! 

I am sure we were both dehydrated BEFORE we started running. On average a man should be getting about 15 cups of water a day and women are recommended about 11.5 cups and the truth is the only way I really like my water is with coffee beans in it! 

Andy and I were more prepared for our run carrying hydrations vest and salt tabs along with nutrition. 

The sweat quickly soaked our clothes and mentally began playing head games with us. It is so easy to beat yourself up when you feel miserable and are struggling. Learning to crash the chatter of negativity and give yourself grace is where running in the heat makes all the difference. 

"In THE HEAT of the Moment"

RUNNING your perceived effort is where your attention needs to be not your pace or your milage. 

It is said "When the temperatures climb your pace shouldn't." 

5 tips for running in the heat:

1. It takes 10-15 days to acclimate to the heat
2. Wear light colored clothing
3. It is normal for your heart rate to spike as our bodies are trying not to overheat, allow yourself about 10% pace drop in the heat. 
4. Run early or run late
5. Hit the trails! The temperatures are always cooler in the woods!

"Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a catcus but you don't have to sit on it." Joyce Meyer

All the tips in the world can be given to you but it's what you entertain between your ears. I continued to encourage Andy as we fought for each mile and tried to convince him how good he was doing in the heat. But the bottom line is-we were SUFFERING. 

I am at that point in life I am just trying to KEEP UP. I am not trying to break any records and I am not trying to get myself BROKEN. 

With Run Rabbit approaching I am trying to find a balance with even my suffering!

Todays notification! 

"Keeping UP not Competing" 

Me, Shirly, Mark ad Sarah all running Run Rabbit 50M

This weekend I was with the group I would be traveling to Colorado with. We have a large crew running the 50 miler. 

They are all doing epic things and are mostly all younger than me. I am fighting for miles and fighting my age with everything I have, 

Today, when we ran, we really didn't have a solid plan. Maybe it was a Monday thing but there was a lot that was lost in translation! 

So we just took off to run. When we made it back to our car we decided to run the stairs at Holly Rec to get to 10 miles. 

I had asked my running partner how many times the runners had to run the stairs to get 50 miles. 

It sounded a little competitive coming out of my mouth and I quickly said, "I am not competing I am just trying to keep up..." 

Even after we had shut off our watches took off our vests and even headed to the car to leave, I knew I needed more. 

I was hot, I was gross with woodsy stench, but I was back by the steps and we were challenging ourselves for another mile of hill repeats, another 7 times climbing with over 1500 feet of elevation for the day! 

I have some incredible runners that surround me. I am inspired and motivated by many. 

• Tina P, who ran her first 100 miler a few weeks ago!
• Amanda S who ran a backyard marathon this weekend getting over 44 miles and looked amazing!
• Andy, my hubby who I love having next to me running, watching him come back from injuries and not give up. 
• Christina B who just ran over 200 miles last week, training through cancer treatments and crushing it. 

I could go ON and ON with runners who inspire me, motivate me and encourage me. 

But most importantly, I need the LORD to encourage me, strengthen me and prepare me. I love RUNNING, but it has to be onto the LORD. I give HIM all the glory for all the miles. 

I am humbled every run, praising HIM even in my suffering. 

In Peace, not pieces,

Aanita

The Leap

 "By my God I can leap over a wall." Psalm 18:29

We all have these walls we are trying to overcome in life. If you are on this side of the living, we will be presented with walls that want to block us from an abundant life. 

Some of those walls I have created and even confused with terms like "boundaries". We can be our own worst enemy. 

• "Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe." - Saint Augustine

The truth is I have had many barriers created by me or created by life. Some I have conquered on my own efforts. 

Oh, but there have been some walls I could not leap over. And yet I made it over...

"BY my God I can LEAP over a WALL."

Today, we met out at Fox Lake RD to run the 6-mile loop at least 3 times. 

I knew it is going to be hard. 

I knew it is going to hurt. 

I knew I was even nervous I wouldn't be able to keep up. 

 

• "If we cannot believe God when circumstances seem be against us, we do not believe Him at all." - Charles Spurgeon

Most of the barriers we have to jump over, we create. 

Discouragement, fear, anxiety, control, forgiveness, contentment...

This morning, every mile another hill loomed in front of me. Some of the hills were so high I could not even see the top of them. 

I prayed. Just a quiet prayer, a simple prayer, nothing religious or extravagant. 

Quite simple really, "Lord, get me up this HILL...." 

I see myself heading over, I feel myself one step closer to the top. 

I am not sure if I "leaped" over the hills today. But I made it not just over each hill but also each mile, 21 miles and over 2,500 ft of elevation. 

There was 4 of us running. It was a great dynamic. We laughed, we encouraged one another, we helped one another, and suffered together, although Erika looked fresh as a daisy! 

Scientists and professionals can look all day at what our heart can do and what our lungs are capable of. Sports doctors have told me I couldn't and shouldn't run years ago after my FIRST knee surgery. What if I let that wall stop me? 

The wall of surgeries. 

The wall of injuries.

The wall of cancer. 

SOO many walls I have LEPT over....BY MY GOD. 

Trusting on HIS strength, HIS power, I have leaped over walls that many have said are not possible. 

The Power of faith is Immeasurable. 

The Power of faith is incomprehensible. 

• "To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible." - Thomas Aquinas

In Peace, not Pieces,

Anita

Directing your Words

 The tongue is the greatest of blessings when wisely and lovingly used, but it becomes the greatest curse when it is unkindly and dishonestly used." A. Purnell Bailey

The smell of port-a johns lingers like the stab of words that hurt. 

I can be a lot. 

The older I get, the better I am at not only reading a room but also reigning myself in. I'm like a wrecking ball of energy when I am in a place of comfort. 

The traffic director let me have his flag and direct
 traffic when my friends came through!!

I had just finished running Bastille 15K in Fenton Saturday morning. My endorphins were on tilt when I jumped in my truck to head out for a group run with our running club, Complete Runner. I had double booked myself. 

From Fenton to Holly Rec, I smiled as I recollected my last 9 miles. I never planned to race it but I also didn't plan to pace Miah, my friend's daughter. It would be her LONGEST distance in her 13-year-old self and she would place 1st in her age group. I loved pacing her.

I miss coaching and it felt so good to encourage her to the finish line.  

Miah Floating to the Finish. 

I pulled into Holly Rec and the parking lot was hopping. All the cars, all the people, and all my energy was bubbling over. 

I had planned to meet them for the final 6-mile loop, but since the day was already going unexpected why would I be shocked they were actually doing a 9-mile loop. 

"Suck it up buttercup" I thought to myself. Smile and stay positive is the best reaction and it usually expresses the best outcome.

We had about 9 of us running single file into the Wilderness Loop. 

We were running in my wild and overgrown playground.  

We ran and chatted with many different conversations going. 

I am like a kid, hyper, outspoken, ridiculous, immature and a little goofy. Ryan was talking about his middle schoolers and their creative writing skills. We got chatting about my writing and Ryan says, "I love that Anita blogs..." 

I responded "...Because NO ONE blogs anymore!" He was very kind saying he enjoyed reading my blog, they made him laugh. 

Surprised by this, I then added "..if you can get pass my grammatical errors..." 

The thing about the whole conversation came down to THIS...He was so encouraging and genuinely kind. 

Ryan could look beyond the imperfections of my writing and read it for what it was and is. 

He is a teacher and yet he wasn't judging my writing skills or spelling mess ups. He wasn't shaming my writing or teasing, he was actually doing quite the opposite. 

When we finished, I was just steps behind him. I was determined to stay close even though I was pooping out. We were the only two still running together, everyone else took different routes and different paces. This was the farthest Ryan had ever run on trails and he was sweating like a stuck pig but he NEVER complained and even finished with a smile, still encouraging me. 

We were all a mess of perspiration and stink but as we all gathered together under the Complete Runner tent, we collectively laughed at one another, teasing and goofing off together. 

We should have a tribe that builds each other up, not tearing one another apart. 

"Every deed, whether good or evil, was conceived in the thought process of the mind." Lindsay Terry

THREATENED:

"This is what you do when you feel threatened by others..."

 Andy and I were watching a show after our run. There was a scene where the gal was complaining about her husband's friends when he looked at her very soberly in the eyes and said, "This is what you do when you feel threatened by others..."

SOO GOOD!! 

SOO CONVICTING. 

I see this all the time. When we feel threatened, we misbehave. We gossip, we slander, we say something sideways to make ourselves feel better. 

It might not be about a person at all. It could be about a opportunity you never got or a vacation you couldn't go on, a slew of things. 

We all feel threatened by something or someone. 

This is a gentle reminder to be comfortable in my own skin. 

To be GRATEFUL for my abundant life. To be SECURE in my surroundings. To SHINE confidently with KINDNESS, with GRACE for others and above all LOVE. 

LOVE Yourself and LOVE others. Like me directing traffic, I have to remind myself to DIRECT my words with Kindness, encouraging others the same way I like to be encouraged!1 

Andy, enjoying some watermelon after his long run with CRU. 

  "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.

1Peter 3:10

In Peace, Not Pieces, 

Anita~

Goodbye June

 "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." Maya Angelou

Summer is my favorite season. 

Running in the summer can have its challenges but wearing shorts trumps most of those challenges for me. Running with the sun beating down on my bare skin is like heaven to me. I feel the warm embrace of summer, the fragrance of flowers, the blue skies sparkling and my little heart patters to play outside. 

June was a great month to run with her cooler mornings and little rain. 

Total miles: 268.

Total elevation:17,081

Total days running: 21

LOOPTY LOOP 8 hour race: I signed up for this 8-hour event a week prior to the race. I thought I would use it as a training run, not race it. In the 4 weeks leading up the race I had raced Highball to Thurmond 50 miler, and we had hiked the Grand Canyon, putting in over 30 miles of hiking, my body was still in recovery mode. 

Even with temps reaching the 90's I was running the 3-mile loop with an average 12min/mile. It came to the last couple hours, and I had to stay true to my word, NOT RACING. Turns out I was 2nd place female and had enough time to go back out for one more but called it. 37 miles, a perfect long run. 

Discipline is more than mental. I had to reign in my competitive spirit, run humbly and with content. 

We all have that EGO that like dictate our actions. The more we listen to our ego and our pride, the less we live with humility. Ego and pride robs us of interpersonal security. I would find myself battling this out. 

It came down to "MY WHY". Stay true to yourself and be content with your victory and secure with your choices. We allow too many minor choices become major decisions in our pride and ego and most of the time you are the only one that cares that much! 

I love all sports, I'm actually terribly unathletic but I make up for that in spirit!

 We played a lot of games camping. 

We play card games, putt putt and our own version of badminton! I won, I lost I had fun!

Hello JULY! 

"The Butterfly does not look back upon its caterpillar self, either fondly or wistfully: It simply flies on." Guillermo del Toro 

We have had more heat that sun. July brought in "Air Quality" alerts. 

I still ran, right or wrong I ran. 

Andy and I took our camper this weekend to Frankenmuth to get away. Pine Ridge Campground was in the middle of corn fields.

Andy and I went for a long run together and discovered very quickly there was nothing to protect you from the heat. 

I ran 20 miles in the baking heat, 16 miles with him. Heading back to our campground I spotted something fluttering in the grass. We were running on the side of the road, many miles we had just inches from the road. It was a stunning yellow butterfly resting in the grass. I stopped as Andy continued running unaware of my curious pause. 

I felt Andy standing over me as this gentle butterfly crawled up my arm, around my neck and unto my cheek leaving Andy in amazement. 

After a couple minutes the inquisitive yellow butterfly fluttered away leaving me with so many thoughts. 

Butterflies cannot see their wings. 

They are unaware of their beauty. I thought of many people in my life that are so beautiful. I also thought of so many people who do not see their beauty. 

Let us not let the world harden our hearts and close our eyes to the beauty that surrounds us. 

Let the reminder of the butterfly whisper You are Beautiful. 

You may not see your worth or value, but you are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

You are a beautiful creation. 

PRAYER REQUEST: a very Dear friend of mine was attacked by a dog yesterday running a route from her house. She suffered a broken collarbone, stitches and is home recovering. The mind can do a lot with am attack like this. 

Will you please lift Kris up in prayer as she recovers from her physical wounds as well as their other wounds that we do not see. 

In Peace, not Pieces, 

Anita

Backpacking the Grand Canyon.

 

We have not been home a week and I am still trying to navigate my thoughts on the magnificence of our trip. I have words floating around but trying to connect them with any type of understanding still escapes me. 

I will break it down with simplicity, everything that the Canyon is void of. 

If you have a thought, a dream, a hint of doing this adventure I will break that down at the end to help you better understand that it is possible! 

Day ONE In Arizona. 

We flew nonstop from Detroit to Pheonix. Arriving close to the same time we left Michigan! We made it out of the airport, down to our luggage, onto the tram, to the rental car station and on the road before 12pm Arizona time. 

Nothing ever moves that smooth without a hiccup or TWO! We checked both out backpacks, carrying our essentials for the Grand Canyon. We discovered quickly that Andy lost a Croc, and the nozzle came off my hydration pack that was not secured in my backpack. 

We had a 3 hour drive to Flaggstaff to REI to purchase our propane we would need for our Jetboil. we would add a nozzle to that list and Andy would quickly regret not purchasing another pair of camp shoes. 

Our hotel was in Tusayan, directly outside the Grand Canyon park. After making it to REI and a local coffee house, we unloaded everything into our very large hotel room. It was more like a suite, and the pool was outside our room, I chuckled that we had this great room we would only be in for another 15 hours. 

Our hotel was right off the Arizona trail, leading us to sneak out and explore a few miles. The first 5 minutes in a land that was so foreign to me I SQUEALED and came to a screeching halt. Andy was looking all around trying to figure out my abrupt stop, "ANDY, LOOK....". Directly in front of me were 4 massive mammals, I would understand to be ELK. 

We only went for a 3-mile run, and my cheeks hurt more from smiling than my lungs hurt from the elevation! 

Day ONE: Backing the Grand Canyon. 

Itinerary: South Kaibab to Tonto East to Havasupai Camp. 

My Backpack Weight: 33LBS. Carrying 2 liters of water. 8oz Electrolytes, 

6Am start. 

I was overwhelmed. We would be descending for over 9 miles. As I stepped down onto the trail cut in stone, fear gripped me. Every step I felt myself shy away from the confidence I had before entering the threshold of the canyon. 

Reverence. Respect. I had purchased a new phone just for this trip for the camera. Andy would ask me to take different photos the quality was so much better. 3 hours in, about 6 miles I took my camera out for another undescribed phone and it slipped out of my hands. THUD, it dropped on the rocky path face down echoing through the canyon. Yep, the screen shattered. Andy discovered the screen protecter saved my phone. I went to take the photo only to find the camera had broke! 

The powerful scenery didn't allow me to get upset about it. We still had Andys phone, and I could still take selfies! 

We arrived at Camp at 12pm, 6 hours of hiking and I just wanted coffee! 

We located a campsite, and before setting up our tent we made coffee. 

After setting up the tent, resting we found ourselves lacing up our shoes to do a little hike to Plateau Point about 1 1/2 miles away. As we headed out we noticed a guy pointing to something in the tall grasses, It was a Pink Corral rattlesnake! 

When we arrived the Plateau Point, I was not prepared for fear to grip me the way it did. You had to cross a section of very thin land to get to the lookout point, "Andy, I don't think I can do it..." I was petrified to cross with sheer drop off on both sides I couldn't move. 

Andy patiently coaxed me to him. I was on top of a massive rock structure. They had actually placed a sturdy guard rail across the edge to lookout and discover the Colorado River directly below cutting through the canyon walls. I instantly just sat on my butt overtaken with trepidation. There was a breeze that felt like it was going to whisk me away. The young man that should us the snake arrived with his family and walked freely across the structure. This too made me nervous. He climbed down where I could no longer see him claiming there was a waterfall. The only waterfall I felt was in my shorts, I thought for sure I had peed myself! 

Curiosity got Andy and he too headed down to see. I never saw the waterfall but I did eventually stand up to take a photo! 

We headed back, made dinner, played cards and headed to bed. 

DAY 2: Hike down the Bright Angel. 

It is hard to sleep when the canyon wakes at 4:30am. Andy and I had a 11 mile hike to Phantom Ranch and back, sorta...

The temperatures were much cooler than we had expected. We both took day packs, filling our hydration packs up with water and food. The Bright Angel hike down shared a whole new experience. The canyon walls danced, sharing different emotions as the light reflected off of her. I would find myself breathless in wonder and awe and moments later sedated with fear as the walls of the canyon darkened and deepened with bold curves and jagged edges. 

We crossed the silver bridge towards the camp.

Below us the Colorado river raged, winding through the canyon and cutting through layers of rock, swiftly moving without a thought of us.  

We descended down with much more ease not carrying the weight of our packs. I found myself able to move more swiftly thus giving me more confidence in my ability to maneuver down the rugged terrain that quickly changed on the other side of the bridge towards Phantom Ranch. 

Andy began talking about the famous lemonade which I am sure is just Country Time but in the blistering heat it truly was the Best lemonade I have ever tasted! 

We sat for a bit before we started our adventure back. 

"Andy, what is that black bridge? Can we take that back?" 

I would like to tell you that my innocent little voice was enough to bait Andy but it took a lot more convincing and begging. 

And the REAL JOKE would be on ME! 

That little bridge was less than a mile apart and that part of our escapade would only tack on 2 miles more BUT it would turn out to be the most dangerous part of our endeavor for the day. 

YES, it was fun to walk a bridge into a tunnel and out! 

YES, we would get to hike a different route, The River Trail. 

And YES, I was basically hiking that mile along a VERY steep cliff all the way up with a wind that kicked up enough fear to have me hugging the cliff so tightly I would be picking out cactus quills from my legs on my return! 

I was so happy when we finally connected back to the Bright Angel trail. There is a little beach area along the Colorado River that we took our shoes off and walked into the river. You could see the drop off just a few feet from the shore, I was all out of riskiness and played it safe in the shallow end.  We didn't stay long, enough to cool down and enjoy the experience. 

The hike back to camp we would explore nature, pointing out the different plants, birds, lizards and sites cut into the canyon walls. We found a couple caves we ventured into off the trail to add to our excitement making the voyage more playful. 

We got back to camp as the winds were blowing around us, dark clouds were looming, and the touch of rain was quickly cooling our skin. 

We were EXHAUSTED.  Coffee was all I could think about! We enjoyed a cup of coffee and rested in the tent. We made it back in time as a storm rolled through the Canyon spitting rain and bending the trees overhead of us. "Andy, I tam so thankful we finished before the storm..." 

DAY 3: Bright Angel out. 

It was time to head out of the camp. We had packed most everything up the night before. There is no sleeping in down in the Canyon if you are hiking. The rangers don't recommend hiking between 10-4 due to the heat. Our first night, I had heard what I thought was an animal stirring around outside, it turned out to be hikers going out at 3:30am and then a continuous stammering of activity until we would get up around 5am! 

He had our coffee and our camp packed up and on the trail by 6am. It would be a 6-mile hike to the rim all the way UP. The temperatures would rise faster than we would gain ground. I loaded less than 1 1/2 liters of water, less weight to carry, my back lost close to about 8lbs from the beginning weight of 34lbs.  

The trek up and out of the canyon became more of a mission for me. I took in all the elements, however hearing the difficulty of coming out of the canyon became a challenge I was actually looking forward to. I kept my hiking poles out and used them to power up the rugged terrain. I struggled with several of the steps that were cut very high and long making my short legs work a lot harder to lift. 

I had picked a monument on the trail and memorized it as a focal point. We were hiking about 2 miles an hour, that monument went from looking very high and far, to us looking down on it as we hugged the rocky walls. The sharp switchbacks and edgy cliffs were quickly uncovered, and we were unsheltered from the blistering sun. We caught up to some hikers we recognized from camp and chatted with them. These two young men told us they had left at 4:30am and could not believe we had caught up to them. 

I realized I needed to bring the power hike down. 

We were very intentional about drinking our water and I had made up a drink with the left-over lemonade I had from the hike down to Phantom Ranch and some of my Athletic Greens.

This gave me a little nutrition, vitamins, minerals and probiotics to help me with some depletion I knew I would have. 

We reached the rim of the canyon at 9:30am. 3.5 hiking and my legs were wobble sticks and the temperatures were well over 80 degrees! 

The GRAND Canyon.

Where the Sky embraces a wilderness of rocks. 

The canyon is so vast it illustrates eternity in the eyes of the simple. 

You can watch light dance off the canyon walls exchanging extreme emotions that rise and fall. 

Humbly, I was overwhelmed with awe, amazement and the authenticity of God design. 

Fear chased me throughout the rocky walls that touched the sky and I chased fear in the destination of dreams coming true. 

Anita~

"Freight day to get lost" Highball to Thurmond 50

 Tuesday, when I got back to work my clients one by one began asking about my 50 miler in West Virginia. 

Patti S. was fully attentive to all the outrageous details of Highball the Thurmond 50miler.

 "Anita, how does this stuff happen to you, every race there is something so crazy that happens...." Together, we laughed about all the details that could only happen to someone who has favor from God. 

I humbly believe that the Lord makes a way when there is no way for me. 

The idea of running "HIGHBALL TO THURMOND" is to "highball" it to the finish in Thurmond, 50 miles away. But you have make it back to the train station in Thurmond to catch the train back to the start! 

The concept is genius, but it does come with "cut off" times in order to make it to catch the train. 

I am going to share my recap and remind you, I run for the Lord. Running is a ministry, a gift from the Lord. 

I am a NOBODY. I barely cast a shadow in this world...

But I am a SOMEBODY to the LORD. The details in the recap are yet another series of reminders that the Lord leads me, guides me, strengthens me and loves me. 

I LIVE that out loud. I live that every mile. 

THURSDAY: "Slow-comotive". 

Andy and I drove in Thursday, caravanning with mom and dad. We snuck out for a little run. Our 5 mile run quickly dropped down to 3 miles. My piriformis was aching, my right calf was tender, my heart rate was "off the rails" and I was panicking as we hit another hill every quarter mile. We had to walk halfway up the hills and honestly I wanted to walk the whole thing! This is where fear began. 

I began questioning every goal I had set. "ANDY, I am throwing all my goals out the window, I think I should just try to finish before the train leaves." I whined. 

I felt so defeated. 

FRIDAY: Spent the day with family. Dad is from West Virginia, so he took us all over visiting family and special places he grew up in. 

SATURDAY: Andy made last minute reservations to go white water rafting. I couldn't tell Andy no. I was so "a-freight" I would be tired, broken or die in the class 5 rapids. 

It was SOO FUN!! And I was able to get an upfront look at where I would be running. "AJ "our raft guide, showed me different areas I would be running, and also all the elevation I would be climbing!

SATURDAY night was Packet Pick-up. BIB 125. 

SUNDAY: "Hightailing it to the Start Line."

We started at 6am. Andy dropped me off as the sun was just coming up over the mountains. It was truly glorious. I am not great at eating before a race, I had a Honey Stinger waffle and a cup of coffee, I had my pack filled with nutrition and I would be eating at the aid stations. 

"ONE TRACK MIND"

There is a motto I use when running ultras, "pass NO ONE in the beginning..." I try to keep my mind focused on not going out fast. 

I found myself in a group of runners and tucked in behind them. I knew the first few miles were rolling roads, making it easy to lose your pace. I was fumbling with my "Race Joy" ap trying to get it started when Andy first passed me honking his horn heading to the next aid station to see me. I got chatting with the group of runners around me and we all discussed our goals. I told them my original goal was 10hours 30 minutes, but I threw the goal out the first day I was in West Virginia after running 3 miles and when I thought I was going to die on the hills. 

Two of the runners were from Maryland but originally from Brazil. They had heavy accents, speaking in Portuguese back and forth to one another. In English, one of the older men responds to me "HEY, we just ran a 50 miler in 10H:38minutes, I think that is totally possible here too..." 

And there the seed was planted again..... 

"CHUGGING ALONG"

I just chugged along the first 5 miles excited to see Andy at the aid station. When I arrived, I introduced Andy to my new friends that I thought were older than me. I quickly found out that they were only a few years older than me! My age says I am almost 50 but my spirit thinks I am way younger. 

When I came out of the aid station I lost my new friends. I took off solo. 

"RUNNING OUT OF STEAM"

This is where the hills really started. We were not running trails yet, rather the park roads and dirt roads  up the mountain. 

I dropped my pace and kept running up. The miles added up along with the elevation. I wanted to walk so bad but I didn't know how much farther I would be climbing. This is where I began passing runners that were walking. 

I looked down at my watch as I began to lose steam and noticed I had ran almost 13 miles. I knew that an aid station was coming and mom and dad would be there. Just as I was getting ready to fall apart, I heard people. I began shouting, "AM I DONE? TELL ME I AM DONE CLIMBING?!" This is when Andy popped out and the volunteers shouted "THIS IS IT! DOWN Hill from here!"

I was praising the Lord and singing Halleluiahs! 

"OFF THE RAILS"

I was off the rails excited to go down that mountain! I was still running mostly alone but my pace was significantly faster, I was smiling feeling the warm breeze through my hair. 

It was beautiful out. The trees were dancing with foliage, the sky was as blue as the ocean and honeysuckle wafted through the air. 

My body felt strong with no pain or discomfort. 

"ON TRACK"

With almost 20 miles in, we were still running mostly the roads. I found myself running with another runner, talking about our goals and different times. He told me we were on track for a 9 hour race. As I listened, I did my math, taking into account how I run and calculated I was way ahead of my original goal. We came into this beautiful park area. I was running along the river with waterfalls to one side of me and a huge damn on the other, it was breathtaking. I took time to take some photos and not let myself get caught up in racing, enjoying the journey. 

I saw mom, dad and Andy waiting by a picnic table for me. Andy had my change of shoes waiting for me as I would be hitting the trails. 

I just loved seeing mom and dad in their matching "TEAM HARLESS" shirts. I felt so blessed to have in laws that crew me up and down mountains in another state with so much love. 

"A-FREIGHT TO ASK" 

I headed out of the park as a train was coming. I was so caught up in the symbolism of the train that I was quickly interrupted by an abrupt incline into the trails. The foliage quickly wrapped around me, and the strong scent of honeysuckle welcomed me. 

Alone I ran for miles. I was not in the trail long when it spit you out unto the park road. The traffic was getting heavy with tourists and site seekers. The New River was below me as I began climbing another mountain. Mile after mile I climbed. So many miles I climbed that I found myself looking for the ribbons marking the trail. 

Thats when panic set in. I kept running up the mountain "a-freight" to call Andy. 

"ANDY.. Andy...I think I missed a turn" I trembled. 

Andy calmly responds, "Hold on, let me find you..." 

The longer Andy paused they more confirmation I was getting. 

"Oh Nita, oh no, you missed a turn about 2 miles back...." 

Everything Andy said sounded like garble. I had literally climbed an EXTRA 2 miles, I was sick. 

Andy couldn't find the right words to soothe me, to encourage me, there was nothing he could do at that point to get me out of my head. 

I was a MESS. I was going to be OVER 40 minutes behind now. 

I wasn't sure I could make the cut-offs now. 

I went from being in the front of the pack to the back of the pack. 

From being on cloud nine to now in the pit of despair. 

I was mad at myself, Typical Anita moment, I loathed myself, my mess-ups, I felt so broken. 

"LET OFF SOME STEAM" 

So I RAN! Down that mountain, with my fists clenched, tears in my eyes, with frustration at myself, I called myself every name I could think of. I was at mile 30, I missed my turn at mile 28. 

Coming down that mountain angry my legs were moving at a sub 9min/mi. Andy said I had to run under the bridge. I remember seeing that beautiful bridge, taking photos with it, I resented that bridge now. 

When I finally got to the bridge, I felt myself calming down. Even though my legs were running my heart was at the throne of God. 

The Lord directs my steps. 

The Lord protects me and strengthens me. 

I knew that the Lord was taking care me and my mishap and that He had a plan I didn't get the memo for. 

"Lord, it was your will for me to get lost, YOU kept me upright down that hill...." And I praise HIM. In my angst, I praised HIM for keeping me strong and pain-free. 

My body was still without any pain, I was humbled. They Lord was keeping me humble. Thy will be done. 

"DON'T LOSE YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT"

I considered quitting, so may times.  

When I got on the trail I was in for a shock. This trail was covered in shale rocks, thick black mud, roots and greenery that hid the path, it was more technical than I had imagined. 

Oh, it was stunning, but it was very technical. There was no way I was making up more time on the trail.  I felt my positive thoughts echoing away and all I could hear was my heavy breath and back to despair. 

I prayed more asking the Lord if He wanted me to continue to please keep me moving. 

The only train of thought I needed was to "KEEP MOVING". No matter what it looked like I kept telling myself, "KEEP MOVING Anita." 

I was falling apart. I had no signal for my music to play so I was left to listening to myself suffer. The heat was baking me, I knew I would see Andy about mile 35 but to be very honest, I was so miserable I didn't want to even see him. 

I see this tall man in gym shoes barreling down a very tight section of the trail, It was ANDY! The trail was covered in rhododendron, with steep climbs and twists so tight I didn't know how Andy got through. I started pouting, "How much farther..." We were climbing what felt like straight up, I had to grab trees to brace myself because I no longer trusted my legs. 

Andy was incredible, he was gentle with encouragement and soft with his words, knowing I was fragile and ready to break, he coaxed me out of that trail to the aid station. 

"ALL ABOARD"

Andy, with mom and dad got me back out there again. They smiled and loved on me. Refueling not only my water, my food but also my love tank. 

I was back on board again. 

I knew I was going to make it, I had no idea what it would look like, but it didn't look like a complete failure. I discovered I ran over 4 miles when I missed my turn. I thought to myself, "..your running 50 miles, so what's another 4 miles?" 

I gave up placing. 

I gave up the sub 10 hour goal that I had for the first 22 miles.

I gave up the 10h30 hour goal I had in the beginning of the race.

I was full circle trying to just finish strong and fearless. 

I was on board for giving my everything, many things changed and changed many times but I felt invigorated. 

"Full Speed Ahead" 

At my mile 40, I was still smiling as I ran back down the mountain, another mountain the same mountain I couldn't tell you. 

AND THERE at the bottom of the hill was Cleber and Icar, my friends from Maryland! 

"FRIENDS!! IT"S ME!! I'm BACK!!!!" I ran with my hands in the air and a smile as big as the mountain I was running down. 

"CLEBER!! IT'S YOU!!" 

They took a double take at me, we were all laughing when Cleber starting shouting at me, "ANITA!! You are bad A$$, You are BAD A$$!" 

I laughed and replied, "not hardly, more like a "dumb A$$, I got lost..." 

But they already knew, they had seen Andy at an aid station and he told them of my unfortunate mishap. 

But they had never thought they would see me, and they kept showering me with compliments for catching up to them. 

I didn't feel as amazing as they were making me out to be until they said that they were still on track for a 10h 38 min race. 

I was trying to do all the math, all the numbers were not adding up. All I knew was that I had caught up to them by the grace of God! 

And that is exactly what I told them! 

We were only running a little bit when we came into the 41.75 mile aid station where Andy was excited to see me. 

Caught up in the adrenaline, I told Andy we were going try for a 10 hour race, Andy was very encouraging and shewed me out of the aid station. 

Well, all that hype wore off quickly! I told they guys I would shadow them and try hard to finish with them. 

We ran the back in the trail where it was cooler. We took a few breaks to rinse off in the waterfalls. It was stunning. I wanted to take photos, but my phone was dead. 

We then made a turn, hit an aid station, quickly drinking and grabbing a bite. And just like that we started the mother of ALL climbs. Over 800 steps, some stairs but mostly shale rocks that made a stair case cut into the mountain. It was steep, covered in thick foliage and uneven steps some as far apart as  feet sharp turns to tight you couldn't see the top. I could hardly catch my breath trying to keep up with them I only fell farther back. Another runner caught up to me and I motioned him to go ahead of me. He said "No, I won't let you fall." I had to grab the trees and my legs to move. We finally made it to the top, it was frightening to see how far we had climbed. 

We caught our breath and picked our pace back up up. 

Cleber suddenly yells my name startling me, "ANITA! you just ran 50 miles, at 9hours 40minutes, look at your watch..." 

I was taken back that he knew that, he was right, my watch beeped at 50 miles...I responded, "Yeah, but I have over 4 miles to go..." 

Cleber full of enthusiasm says "Your bad A$$.." 

 With 2 miles to go, Icar was ready to kick it into gear, but Cleber responded to him in Portuese. They ran ahead of me, and I couldn't understand what they were saying. 

They were in a serious conversation. I knew Cleber was struggling with cramping and didn't want to to drop a gear and that Icar was still really strong. 

The two of them only spoke English in front of me so I was very confused on what was going on. 

After what felt like forever Cleber came back to me and said, "YOU go ahread of us...." 

I quickly interrupted, "NO, you guys carried me the last 10 miles, no..." 

With great passion he interrupted me! "NO, you would have already finished, GO, we want your name ahead of ours, you earned it..." 

I knew they had more in the tank and wanted to go faster. With all I had I picked up my pace. we were running downhill allowing the momentum to lead me. 

I kept looking back and could see they were with me. My watch hit 54 miles and I still couldn't see the finish. I passed a girl wishing her well and tried not to run head over feet when I finally saw the finish. 

I looked one more time behind me and saw them about 20 meters behind me smiling. 

I looked in front and saw Andy, and I was smiling! 

I finished at 10:32! 54.54 miles! 

YES, I finished with the original goal at the beginning of the race that I made when I first met Cleber and Icar! 

I got LOST. 

I got discouraged. 

I got frustrated, angry, defeated...

BUT THE Lord Redeemed ME!! 

One mile at a time. I cannot tell you how mad I was at myself for getting lost. 

But I had to cling to the Lords hand in it all and find peace and His purpose for me. 

I give the Lord all the glory for all the details He worked out for me. I had to let go and trust that it is His will. 

The Lord Humbled me and Redeemed me for His purpose. 

In Peace not Pieces, 

Anita~

I placed even in my mess. 

I felt amazing most of the time. My body was fatigued but I never had any pain. 

My belly did great. 

I ate: 1 applesauce and a honey stinger the first 15 miles. 

I enjoyed a 1/2 a PBJ, some potatos, pickles, watermelon, oranges. 2 Gu's a 1/4 quesadilla and liquid IV and a liter of water. 

Andy gave me 3 motrin at 20 miles in even though nothing hurt and maybe thats why nothing hurt! 

I am a minimalist. I have the crew box but I only changed my shoes, not stopping more than 5 minutes. 

By the grace of God go I.