Understanding but not Necessary

"Your being emotional, it's understanding but unnecessary." 

Sherlock Holmes

If we have been in this world long enough, we have learned how to have thick skin.

I laughed as my brother and I played phone tag this morning, back and forth we missed each other's calls. 

The truth is when we finally connected to do our morning banter his carefree spirit turned dark. 

The f-bomb ejected through the phone and connected with some more colorful language. It's my big brother so I do what I always do, laugh. Big brothers are great at making you laugh or cry. I am usually laughing. 

Bobby barks "This f#@* idiot flew by me and look, now there he is directly in front of me, %$#@ I want to just tap his bumper and tell him 'Oops I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry.' " 

I was laughing a lot, probably even provoking my brother, it's the little sister in me.  He calmed down, I thanked God I don't drive in Florida with him because I am SURE he would have tapped my bumper! 

"Your being emotional, it's understanding but unnecessary." 

This is the scene that had me grabbing for the remote. 

I am not a TV watcher. But last week I decided to fold laundry and watch Evola Holmes, the story of Sherlock Holmes little sister. 

There is a scene Evola is upset and crying because her mother went missing. Sherlock sits very permissive under the tree and calmy responds to her emotional outrage with the above quote. 

I quickly look for the remote, frantically trying to rewind it and listen to it again, and again, and again with a pen. 

OHH LORD this spoke volumes to me!! 

That passion erupts from me all the time! 

My brother too! 

When I am happy, when I am hurt, when I am mad, when I am telling a story, I am animated, elevated and enthusiastic. 

I am also quite annoying! 

BUT Sherlock continues....

"Be tough, not because you're looking to be someone, rather because you're looking for yourself." 

WHERE'S THE REMOTE?! 

Oh Sherlock, I am in love! You are speaking sweet nothings to me. 

In my emotions, I find myself clenching my fists, straightening my back and ready to get in the ring. I have my gloves on ready to go another round. 

Hyper.

High-strung.

But often times, I curl up crying asking the Lord to protect me, control me and save me from myself. 

I want to puff up my broken heart and defend myself. I want to communicate my truth, I want to submit my disagreement. 

Thats what we do. 

I want to toughen up, stand up for myself, defend myself, I want to scream, I want to yell and shake my fist at the haters. 

Slow your roll sister. 

Get a grip. 

*Be tough enough to control those wild and reckless emotions. Because while they are understanding they are unnecessary. 

But I have nothing to prove to anyone but MYSELF. 

Being tough should be a way to be strong enough to discover your "WHY". 

Be tough to do the self-inventory. 

Be tough in yourself to forgive. 

Be tough in yourself to be confident in your worth. 

Be tough in yourself that you don't hurt someone else in YOUR hurt.  

Being silent isn't a weakness. It is a strength under control. 

 

I write the things I am working on. These are often not areas I have conquered usually they have conquered me and I am STILL TRYING. 

Somedays I get it. Other days they get me. 

RUNDOWN: 

Miles November 7th-13th=69miles

Wednesday: GAC, 4 miles run, Strength and rowing

Thursday: 11 miles

Andy and I drove down to Illinois to help pace a friend of ours. We drove with Sarah to Tunnel Hill to help him achieve his 100 mile goal. Sarah paced 50 miles during the day and I paced through the night. Andy joined for 16 of the 51 miles I did. 

I have been blessed to have many people cheer me on, pace me and crew me. But I LOVE taking my bib off and helping someone else achieve their goal. 

Congrats to Sean C and Michelle H out there at Tunnel Hill! 

In Peace, not Pieces, 

Anita~

• My name is Enola, which backwards spells alone. To be a Holmes you must find your own path. ...