" Though your beginning was insignificant, yet your end will increase greatly." Job 8:1
We go through these monumental moments in our life that can instantly flip the script in our story.
We are just cruising through life when life sends us 10 feet in the air, on our butts dazed and confused. These sucker punches are so imposing on our lives, and yet in the thick of it we oddly feel insignificant.
We look up asking "GOD, Are you there?"
"God, I'm suffering, I'm hurting, GOD, are you out there?"
"God, Do You SEE ME?"
And we are left with a broken echo. We even hear ourselves in disgust thinking the God of the Universe must feel the same.
Insignificantly confused on what the point is. We feel like a nobody. He must think we are too.
Sometimes we just want to know we are wanted.
Pain, grief and suffering have a very defeating voice, just ask Job.
"Now bid me to run, and I will strive with things impossible." Shakespeare Julius Caeser
"..Endure hardships, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry." 2 Timothy 4:5
When I run, it is more than it appears. It is my ministry. It is my church.
It is a place I gather my most intimate time with God. When I run, I no longer feel insignificant. I hear his gentle whispers and strong direction. I feel his arms cradle me and softly discipline me.
I can shut the doors to the yesteryears of insignificance. I can also use them as a ministry.
I am Fulfilled.
Learn to Advance when we feel like Retreating.
I move forward both physically and spiritually. It's not about the pace, it's not about the distance, it is just simply moving forward in whatever capacity I am in.
DON'T LOSE HEART
"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we don't grow weary."
We all have these moments we just feel so defeated.
My other ministry...Addiction.
At 11 years old when my grandma told me my father had died, I remember crying. That deep childlike cry, the breathless, painful, lonely cry. I cried in that one-bedroom schoolhouse tears of insignificance.
My mother's addiction plummeted. Just when you think life can't get worse. I would hear her all through the night trying to self-destruct. She would cry and scream and break things. She would walk up to the local bar leaving my sister and I alone until the money ran out. When the booze ran out, when the pills ran out, when the weed ran out, when everything ran out...When life in her ran out.
I remember at a very young age wanting to die. I felt invisible.
Those formative years can really whisper your identity.
But I learned a lot in loss.
YOU CAN'T GIVE UP. Rest but don't give up.
Learn to ADVANCE when you feel like RETREATING.
*INVEST when we feel like WITHDRAWING.
*OVERCOME when we are DEFEATED.
*LEARN TO SURRENDER:
- OUR FRUSTRATIONS
- OUR EGO
- OUR EXCUSES
- OUR INSECURITIES
- OUR BITTERNESS
- OUR EXPECTATIONS
"THEREFORE, WE DO NOT LOSE HEART, BUT THOUGH OUR OTTER MAN IS DECAYING, YET OUR INNER MAN IS BEING RENEWED DAY BY DAY."
To those who are struggling. Do not lose heart.
Dream on. Believe. Persevere.
All those years ago, all those tears, all those lonely nights of insignificance. God had a plan for me. God was PREPARING me. God was REFINING me.
You are SIGNIFGANT. You have a calling to fulfill, don't loose Heart.