Mercy on Me

"Gratitude isn't anchored in ease, Its anchored in intimacy." 

It has been a painful process, Pruning is painful. 

Todays sermon brought comfort to my suffering. It was on God pruning us. I have never been bitter for all the pain and suffering I have had. 

Suffering as a child, a hollow and evil path to adulthood. 

Suffering with cancer, physically God brought me to the brink of death. He cut me back to barely breath. 

But I knew and I know He IS doing it for me to bear fruit. To glorify HIM. 

The worship music saturates my soul, carving out the ugly, softening my heart in praise and humility. 

God removed my pride, envy, dispute, my bitterness, my dreams He pruned out all the things that didn't belong there. Weeds can look pretty from far away but they are death. 

As I listened to Pastor Wes preach I was so grateful God had mercy on me. 

RUNDOWN: 

I ran 18 miles yesterday. 4 weeks out from Charlevoix Marathon. Chris is following Hal Higdons plan. 

His plan had him only running 12 at a 8:28 pace. 

We ran 18m at a 9:30 pace. It ended up in a unplanned group run with both Andy and Rachel. We discovered Rachel on the backroads and she joined us for 8 miles. Andy met us after running 6 miles at at Lost Lake park on Evans Rd. 

But it sat with me. Hals plan is a plan for a 3:40 marathon. 

A VERY lofty goal. 

And it sat there seeping into my mind...

After Church, refreshed by the spirit I was excited to see what God had planned for me. 

I wanted to hit the 12 miles Hal had. 

MOMMA BEAR: 

My first mile I saw a runner out there. I felt my blood pressure go up. This runner I knew, I am not fond of him. He had hurt my son many years ago. Without sharing too many details I wanted to throat punch him, how quickly the Holy Spirit had left me. 

Many bad thoughts ran through my mind as the gap between us closed. 

I thought the best thing I could do was keep running and not trip him. I caught up to him at the corner of Grange Hall and E. Holly. We both stopped our watches waiting for the light to turn. Against my will, I smiled and gave a thumbs up, secretly begging God to turn the lights. AND HE DID. 

I hit my Garmin and bolted across the intersection. 

Fighting for It:

I took off at the intersection too fast. I hit my third mile at a sub  8min/mi. "WHOA Girl, slow your roll, its 82' out and you have 9 more miles." 

I tried to bring my pace down. Steady breathing and drinking. I felt incredible, thanking God for my Latino blood allowing me to tolerate the temps. 

By mile 8, it was on. I was coming up my largest hill on Fish Lake rd. I was struggling. I looked at my pace and it fell apart. I was determined not to walk against my better wishes. 

I had to fight. The clouds were separating and the heat was beating down on me. I was burning up so I kept drinking. I tried to calm my self down.

 I looked down at my pace begging myself to hold it. I extrapolated the numbers and knew I could just phone the last couple miles in and still be OK. 

I had so many ways out:

*it was hot

*I had time banked

*Everyone else that day had bonked

*I ran 18 the day before

By mile 11, I could feel the lactic acid churning in my belly. I thought of my XC kids who had vomited in the heat last week and kept running. I thought of the temps on marathon day and how I needed to train in it. 

I thought I was running in sludge. I couldn't feel my legs but my feet felt like 10lb weights. My heart was beating so hard and I just kept waiting for my Garmin to BEEP. 

I fought all the way AND DID IT! I found a tree to hold me up and rested against it. I still had a mile back home. I walked. 

By the time I arrived home I was so excited. I DID it, I fought all my excuses and DID IT. 

Conclusion: 

So thankful God had Mercy on me, He pruned me back and I am watching him do miracles in me. 

He is putting me back on course, His course. 

Some of you are being pruned, being cut back. It is painful and I am sorry, But you will grow in the process. 

There are things in all of our lives that could use pruning back. I challenge you to start weeding out and pruning back things that are not helping you to grow. 

Anita