14 years ago..

My marriage was a hot mess. We had hardly even been married and between the two of us we had  made our vows a mess.
Somewhere in all that mess wedding rings went flying, words were said and luggage was packed.

Then some how in our separation of independence and ignorance we started talking. We even did some counseling and somewhere again in there a pregnancy test came up POSITIVE.

I remember laying in bed crying apologies to Andy. Even though we had been working out our marriage babies were by no means in the plan. He was still going to school and we were only 24. And besides I was on birth control. Even I asked the question "How did this happen?"
"Anita, God has a plan." Andy gently calmed me.

Austin was born at 3:38pm. He was absolutely beautiful. He had a full head of black hair. His skin was olive and the way he looked at you, you just melted.
He was 8lbs 2 oz. I pushed for 30 minutes.
I loved labor. I loved every part of labor even the pain of it. It was a reminder of what a miracle giving birth is.
He rested right into me. Searching for me, seeking me. I had never had anyone need me like this before.

Kissing his Cousin Sarah!

Well that boys is now 5'8 , 129 lbs. He is strong and mouthy. He is still beautiful. He is not a baby anymore. And I often wonder if he even needs me the way I need him. I still want to take my hand and touch his cheeks. I want to run my fingers through his hair like I did when he was a baby but
those days are mostly gone with the baby fat and radio flyer wagon.

I take every opportunity to still be with him.
Last week he even crawled into bed with me.
Yesterday I took him and Alec on an adventure bike ride. We had a blast for 2 hours together.

Lil Mama can still do a Cherry Drop!

Crazy how fast time goes. Enjoy every minute. Make the most of every opportunity. Don't wait for them to invite YOU. You invite them. I absolutely LOVE my time with Austin and Alec.

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Anita