Another Day!

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. The are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

Maybe one day there will be no anxiety when I walk into a Dr's office to get blood work. The nervous laugh will dissolve, and the tough girl performance will be no more than a memory. 

Maybe. 

Maybe not. 

But for today, I do all I know how to do, run and pray. 

Running 20 miles before my 4-year checkup gives me a small amount of control. For just that little bit of time I can run free, I can control my own suffering. 

I can embrace my breathlessness with comfort. 

I can relax in my elements of madness. 

I can keep my fear and anxiety trampled down by the steady pounding of my feet. 

I can swallow down that lump in my throat, blink back my tears and just run.  

Rate of reoccurrence for the first 5 years for TNBC. 

My oncologist, Dr. Cotant and I have this little game we play every time I see him for my checkups. 

I smiled as we played our little game waiting for him to ask, not about how I was feeling rather about my run. 

"Anita, how far did you run today?" Dr. Cotant asked smiling knowing the question wasn't "Did you run?" rather "How far did you run?" 

I responded with a smirk, "20 miles, almost 2000 feet of elevation.." 

And I waited for his smirk and laugh, and like sorcery, he looked at me and laughed. 

I brought the office donuts; little did they know it was my celebratory gift to them. I have made it, 4 years. This stupid cancer is a living nightmare. 

Every day I celebrate. I have made it another day. 

My 4 year date was the day of my surgery in October, but today Dr. Contant made it official! 

"Those thick veins look great but they like to roll" But my gal was all ready for them! A quick POKE and the blood was flowing. 

Another Day. 

There is no amount of suffering that can compare to feeling like you are going to die. 

Begging God for another chance. 

Bargaining with God for do overs. 

Pleading. 

Desperately seeking another go at this thing called life. 

Watching people get their panties in a wad over the mundane as you just pray for another clean bill of health. 

Just begging for another day. 

Another day to practice forgiveness. 

Another day to practice grace. 

Another day to tell someone I love them. 

Another day to share kindness, to love the unlovable, to give grace to those who have hurt me and to seek forgiveness to those I have hurt. 

Another Day. 

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. The are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

The Lord isn't finished with me yet, I continue to run for Jesus with His power, and His strength I go. 

4 years later and I have Another Day. By the grace of God go I. 

Count it all JOY, I have Another Day. 

In Peace not Pieces, 

Anita