Expectations vs. Reality
"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."
Proverbs 19:21
I set out with the excitement, thinking I knew what the day would bring. A tough but familiar route at Fox Lake to build elevation for my 100-miler. I was mentally prepared for that. And that would be plenty of suffering going into my 3rd day of back-to-back long runs.
But the second I heard we'd be hitting the trails instead, I felt one word-Hoodwinked-looped in my brain like a broken record. The plan had changed without warning, and suddenly I was facing something I hadn't signed up for.
Monday, No Fun Day
The day already felt off. My morning was chaotic, and by the time I showed up to run, I was hanging on by a thread.
The PLAN- two-10 mile loops, consisting of roads and trails and over 3,200ft of elevation, felt like a psychotic joke.
There I was, at the start of my third back-to-back long run, with barely enough juice to start and now being served a dish I never ordered. Training for a 100-mile race demands grit, but some days it feels like the training itself is trying to break you before the race ever begins.
Trails of Torment
"We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair." 2 Cor. 4:8
I felt emotionally pretty despaired.
These trails didn't just challenge me-they dismantled me! Covered in leaves, hiding roots, and jagged rocks, they felt more like a trap than a training route. The climbs were brutal, the descents risky. My legs were toast, wobble sticks. My calves burned, my quads buckled, my lungs gasped and my brain screamed ENOUGH.
There were not smooth stretched, just endless rhythm of up and down, slip and scramble or scream, I did them all.
I laughed for the first mile more out of ridiculousness, but that gave way to silence....then whining...then pure survival mode. I kept accessing my body hoping nothing would get too broken.
Truth is...I never wanted to quit so bad. I questioned everything: my training, my goals, my sanity. I felt deceived by the terrain, by the day, even by my own desire to chase something as massive as a 100-mile race.
The Turning Point
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts."
Winston Churchill
We made it out of the trail loop with two painful miles back to the car. And I said aloud, with full conviction: I am NOT running that loop again. The trails had wrung me out.
But here's the thing-despite my misery, I still believed I could get 20 miles in for the day. I was still clenching that hope.
I still believed in the purpose behind the pain. Just not in that way again.
The trick to training for 100 miles, your constantly being asked to reframe suffering, to find new paths, to be flexible, when the one you're on breaks you down.
The Redemption Loop
"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Gal. 6:9
We set off again, this time on a new 10-mile loop. One I hoped I wouldn't feel hoodwinked again! It felt so much better compared to the gauntlet of trails I had suffered through. My body was sore, depleted, worn thin...but by the grace of God still moving.
Still upright and moving forward. Still choosing to say "YES". I had every excuse to stop, but something deeper kept pulling me forward, one mile at a time.
This is the heart of training for a 100. It is not pristine conditions or perfect plans, it's about how you respond when you're HOODWINKED, blindsided, broken... and you keep going anyway.
The RUNDOWN:
I may have been duped by the plan of running those evil trails, wrecked by accumulating miles and fatigue-but I wasn't defeated.
Training is a make-up of multiple battles; both your legs and your mind. It tests your legs, and it tests your will.
It teaches you how to adapt, adjust, to endure when everything inside you wants to quit.
Such is LIFE.
Our will has to keep a heartbeat. Yes, there is always going to be heartbreak, but we can't get in the habit of quitting when it gets hard. Give yourself some grace and get back out there.
March 31-Apr 6,
Distance: 87.4
Elevation: 5,909
Saturday: 27miles
TOMORROW, I embrace my rest day!!
In Peace, Not Pieces,
Anita