"I'm always nervous. If I wasn't nervous, it would be weird. I get the same feeling at all the big races. It's part of the routine, and I accept it. It means I'm there and I am ready."
Allyson Felix, Olympic Gold and Silver Medalist
Saturdays Charlevoix Marathon was not my first marathon and to be honest I have lost track of what number it is, numbers and memory have never been my strong suit!
Before cancer I was just cruising through life.
I was not done living when I was diagnosed with TNBC.
I still had more dreams.
How was I going to run again? Would I be able to run the way I used to?
I struggled emotionally. After a few weeks, I decided I would read about other athletes with cancer and study their training.
In between chemo, radiation and multiple surgeries and a very broken body I questioned my dreams. I kept moving whether it was biking, hiking, going to the gym or running in the capacity my body allowed me.
I tried to navigate myself off of the pity pot and continued to reach for optimism.
Charlevoix Marathon was a dream I had.
My ugly is Gods Glory. I saw myself running again, running strong again.
But the only way to achieve that was to not quit and work harder than I had in years.
Charlevoix Marathon:
Start: 6am
My alarm went off at 4:15 am. I hit the snooze only once before jumping out of bed to get the coffee going for Lacey and I.
I had taken a "PM" the night before to help me sleep, however my measly 4 hours of sleep was as good as it got. I had everything laid out, I grabbed my coffee, the bagel Chris gave me and began to get ready hoping I would be able to go poo poo.
Chris was kind enough to drive us last minute. We were staying in the Bay Inn in Petoskey, 14 miles away. Funny thing, the race course actually turned around just a couple miles from our hotel.
STARTING LINE:
Runners, runners everywhere! The music was loud, the sun was shining, the temps were perfect at 59'.
Runners were shoulder to shoulder, laughter and excitement surrounded us.
We saw Antonio and Doug and jumped in the corral behind the 3:45min/mi pacer. I had to pee so bad but knew I didn't have time to wait in a port-a-jon line so I tried to ignore it in all the hype.
As the National Anthem was being sang I closed my eyes and prayed. I humbly prayed for favor.
READY, SET, GO
We separated quickly from Doug and Antonio who tucked in behind the pacers.
GOAL "C" s a Boston Qualifying time, not a time I knew I would get in with but the official time, 3h50min.
GOAL "B" was 3:49, this was a 8:44/mi.
GOAL "A" was a frightful secret to many, 3:45. My dream goal.
Within the first 2 miles we found Joel, a runner friend of mine from CRU. It was his first marathon. We discovered his goal was similar to my "C" goal so we thought we would stay with him and hope to encourage and help him.
Joel was doing incredible but I was getting concerned I might be running too fast.
Mile 1, I was proud of myself seeing a 8:40min/mi, but then mile two was a 8:16 min/mi. I slowed it back down the next 3 miles at a 8:54, 8:39 and a 8:52.
The course it relatively flat and Lake Michigan was beautiful when we finally ran next to it at mile 6ish. 
Our pace sped up again and I didn't slow back again until mile 9. We had made a few friends out there and we were chatting it up. Joels family were cheering him on almost every 2 miles. Their motivation inspired you to move faster.
Mile 10, I hit my targeted pace and quietly prayed I could hold it to the finish line. The temps were warming up and I had some of the elevation rehearsed in my head that I would have to do again on the way back.
I just wanted to get to the turn around.
HALF WAY POINT. We all made it to the 13.1 turn around. Joel, Lacey and I were still laughing it up. I was feeling good, just scared I would fall apart any moment.
We were concealed in between the trees most of the time, hidden from the sun.
Joel began to break away, running strong. I hit mile 13 at 8:41 and 14 at a 8:46. Doubt was seeping in. Doubt and fear. My body felt pretty good but I was still scared of the pain that would be up ahead of me. I fumbled for my IPHONE. My hands were sweaty and sticky from GU's as I tried to find a playlist to revive me.
About mile 15, as Lacey shared a GU with me she said she didn't know of she would be able to hold on to the pace all the way to the finish.
"Lacey, GET me to 20, just get me to 20 miles..." I asked. I knew I was asking a lot. Lacey had only trained the last 8 weeks but I knew she would help me.
I still had to pee. "Lacey, I think I just tinkled, ohh no, when it happens the flood gates are going to open..."
Thank God Joel was still ahead of us. At mile 18, there was no holding it, no stopping it, no slowing it down, my bladder exploded. Lacey couldn't stop laughing. She could hardly breath as she watched my shorts begin to drip like a three year old. Then I got tickled laughing as my shoes squeaked with pee pee. I looked around me, "Lacey, can you tell...." she could hardly respond, "OHH YEAH!" she laughed now holding herself from peeing herself too.
We lost Joel around mile 19.
Mile 20, with my music loud I went to say something to Lacey and she was gone too.
Mile 20, where the race begins.
Truth be told I had been steadily holding a sub 8:30min/mi.
I prayed again. I gave thanks for every perfect detail and asked God to bless me with perseverance.
"Hold on Nita, Hold on!"
The sun was beating on me, I was running on the bridge when my ankle was not responding well.
As I came off the wooden bridge, I remembered the incline I had ahead of me. I took a deep breath and headed up the half mile incline.
1, 2 ,3 people, I kept passing all the runners that had passed me the first 5 miles. As I came onto mile 22, I saw Chris.
I pierced my eyes on his florescent yellow shirt and dug deep to catch him, 8:32, 8:24, 8:21 min/miles to catch him. I reached him at mile 24, a 8:15min/mi. I tried to drag him with me but my pace was dialed in and I knew I had to hold it.
It was a finish like no others. DOWNHILL. I was so tired, my quads were on fire but I knew I had to bring it in. I continued to pass runners, "Your doing great, keep moving.." I would say as I passed another runner. I felt my belly flip the last half a mile. I felt the vomit churning.
I came into the downtown of Charlevoix. I saw people on both side cheering me on, "You look so strong, your almost there."
I saw the Finish Line, I tried not to face plant as I turned my legs over.
I crossed the mats with pure JOY.
I heard my name, I felt the tears, I swallowed back my sour belly and saw Debbie M. like an angel cheering me on. I couldn't hear or think, she smiled at me, brought me water and was so kind.
I closed my eyes, "OH LORD, thank you, thank you."
Each minute that passed another friend of mine came in, Chris, Lacey, Nicole, Doug, Antonio, and Joel, all a sub 4 hour marathon.
In Conclusion. I stepped to the starting line confident in my training. I felt courageous, setting goals that scared me, realistic yes, but just out of reach. I knew I had to be resilient, holding my resent failures close. Using them as a training tool to work harder and overcome.
KEEP DREAMING.
I needed to feel Alive again. I wanted to qualify for Boston because it represented strength again to me. I don't care if I get in or not. It was just a representation of OVERCOMING.
Thank you to Chris and Lacey for the training runs the last several weeks.
Congrats to all those that ran Charlevoix, Joel, Chris, Nicole, Christina, Brian, his first marathon too, Trisha, Tracy Lynn, Joe B, Antonio, Doug, Lacey, the Wickams and Kathy.
You all did great!
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| Lacey, Chris, Debbie, Doug, Me, Nicole and Antonio |
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| Lacey, Doug, Me, Antonio, and Joel |
"The one training tool I couldn't live without is my training partners. It's so much easier to get out the door when you have someone to run with and push you on workout days."
Kim Smith, 3 time Olympian
Anita~
Glory To God.
