I hate when I can't control my thoughts. I woke up after only sleeping for an hour. I couldn't get it together. My mind was chaos, and the same cumbersome thoughts kept drilling deeper and deeper into my space. I couldn't get out of it.
I found myself praying for God to "Create in me a Clean Heart." I prayed For "Peace"
I was desperately begging God to calm the storm in my mind.
With little sleep, I woke up at 5:30am to Andys alarm. I laid there only to find myself back in my own metal torment.
In a mild anxiety attack, I sent Andy a text message asking him to pray for me. My chest was heavy, tears rested on my eyelashes and my body was shaking internally.
"Get a Grip Anita, Calm down."
I recited all my mantra, I recalled Gods promises but I knew I had to just suck it up and get the day tackled.
It's like I can hear God saying "RUN Anita RUN".
Yes, I believe God loves to see me run. Because He knows I am running right next to him.
I felt my wet tears hit my shin as I ran around the cold track.
They were not tears of emotion. They were not even tears, my eyes watered from sweat and effort.
They watered from the release of a whole lot of chaos.
RUNDOWN:
Distance: 7 miles at GAC track
3 miles with Husky Road Runners. We had a great turn out in the snow. We hit the trails for 3 miles at Sorenson Park.
It's been a rough week being Anita. My kids have had a rough week, my heart is heavy. I continue to pray for a clean heart, wisdom and discernment. I wish I knew the right thing to do all the time.
Claudia reminded me that I shouldn't beat myself up so bad on the trails tonight. I love my running friends. Claudia is a crazy funny as she is deep and wise. I knew I was where I was supposed to be out there tonight. So grateful.
Runners Hold A Lot Of Wisdom.
Anita
Hugs through the chaos Anita. I know how it can be when everything piles up like an Arctic storm. It's just like being crushed. Hope things feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteStephen, you are so kind, thank YOU. People are people, Gotta love them.
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