Every Rose has its Thorns

"It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you don't stop." Confucious

Last week was a grind. 

Michigan's sick bug hit me like a freight train- like it had a personal vendetta against. 9 days, but who's counting?! I got pulverized with coughing, sneezing runny nose, fever and fatigue - all while being trapped in a gloomy Michigan winter. 

I was supposed to be grinding out my training. But between the single digit temps, snow, ice, and my body turning into a walking NyQuil commercial, I started wondering if maybe I should just trade in my running shoes for a nice, local knitting club. 

The Hypocrite Chronicles

I wrote this rhyme about 20 years ab=got-one of those golden rules of running:

"If it's in your head, get out of bed. If its in your chest it's best to rest." 

So, like a responsible adult, I followed my own advice at first, I stayed in bed. I let my body recover. 

But then...the miles quit adding up. And because I was laid up, my brain told me I still needed to show up. 

SO naturally I ate my words. 

The moment my fever broke, I was at GAC, shuffling around the track-one mile at a time.

I knew I shouldn't be doing it. But I also knew I needed to. 

I was prepared to get off the track if my body protested too hard. I kept my heart rate low, adding walk breaks every two laps, and made a deal with myself: "SUFFER WISELY."

"I Don't Feel Sorry For You." 

I have heard this before. I get it. When I push through when I probably shouldn't sympathy isn't exactly in high supply.

But here's the thing: Training for 100 miles is about suffering. If I can't run while sick and suffer through, then how am I going to suffer through 100 miles?

This is part of the process.

This is where I learn to adapt, to push, to be smart about when to fight and when to fold. 

So Yeah, last week was rough. But I'm still here. 

And still a little off my rocker. 

RUNDOWN;

Feb 3-Feb 9

Miles: 47.59 

(training goal 64) 

Wednesday: speedwork

THURSDAY was the day I ran a half marathon outside and by the time I hit 10 miles I knew I had done serious damage. I didn't know I was that sick until it was too late. 

STREAK: So I challenged myself to this mile streak. Two days this week I had a temperature that I had to run just 1 mile. I bundled up like the Michelin Man and loaded up on meds. I didn't really run, I just tried to stay upright. 

I just kept telling myself, "You can do anything for 15 minutes Anita. 

This is NOT a free commercial to follow my training. But it is a little motivational nudge to challenge yourself. 

Stop quitting and start trying. 

In Peace, Not Pieces, 

Anita

The Trails Less Traveled: preparing for the 100

Making crazy goals and doing stupid things means I had to be accountable to myself. Sulfur Springs 100 miler in May was a Christmas gift from Andy. Training for a 100-mile race means you really never stop training. And never stop trusting God to direct you and keep you, especially when you have not been able to dodge the Michigan cold season. That is why, despite feeling like garbage, I still laced up my shoes and headed out the door to do Mondays version of dumb stuff.

Of course, making the decisions when you feel awful is easy-you just DON'T make them. Thats how I ended up at Indian Springs. It was one of 4 choices:

1. Indian Springs
2. Kensington
3. GAC
4. Richfield Park

It came down to a digital coin toss that sealed my fate!

INDIAN SPRINGS

I've been running at Indian Springs for over 20 years. It's straightforward 8-mile lollipop-shaped paved trail: 3 miles straight out, a 2-mile loop, and then back. There are only so many ways to run it. And yet, today, we somehow squeezed out 18 miles while barely touching the pavement.  

The Trails less Traveled

"There is magic in misery. Just ask any runner." Dean Karnazes

After about 3 miles of slipping and skating on slick, icy pavement, we made the executive decision (not mine, obviously) to hit the trails. Since I felt awful, my main priority was not making decisions. So, I followed along blindly, hoping for the best. 

As the miles and trails tangled together, we just trusted the process or at least trusting whoever looked the most confident, NOT ME.  The fog made everything eerily creepy. Or maybe it was the last 2 nights of horror films I had watched that had me a little paranoid! I was too tired to care. My head was swimming, my nose was running, and my energy was somewhere back at the car wishing I had just stayed in bed. 

I had made the 18-mile goal the night before when I still felt decent. One minute we were cruising along, and the next we were ankle deep in crusty, icy snow, questioning Monday's choices. Several times I was informed that we had already run the same trail two or three times. It looked familiar but at that point, everything was a blur. 

Was I lost? NO. Did I know where I was? Also NO. But I didn't have to know. 

Here are a few things I DO know with Sulfur Springs:

"You don't stop running because you get old, you get old because you stop running." Jack Kirk

1. 16 weeks away
2. A 20K loop course
3. Nestled in the Niagra Escarpment
4. 16 weeks out: average weekly miles, 63. 

RUNDOWN:

"If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry- you'll get over it." Gene Thibeault

The TRAIL less traveled didn't prove to be any easier. And many miles I questioned when we would get back to some steady footing. But I tried to not focus on the END. Rather the original GOAL. If I fast forwarded too much, I would miss the lessons in the in between. 

Isn't that what we do? We forget to soak the training portion up. Embrace the hard climbs, we get discouraged with the obstacles and getting lost along the way. These are all part of the training. 

Today, I was trying in my miserable state to not be negative. 

It's GOOD TRAINING. 

There are parts of trail running, or any running that teaches you the grit, that offer lessons every mile on resilience and patience. 

When we are just trying to achieve the GOAL, we miss the beauty in between. 

In Peace, not Pieces

Anita

 

When the Moment stops.

"It's your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determined how your life's story will develop." 

Dieter F Uchtdorf 

 I am a creature of routine. My mornings are my favorite part of the day. I am usually up by 6am, coffee in hand just minutes later and peacefully spending quiet time in the word. 

Structure is essential for my special brain; the ADHD is like a ping pong ball without it. Routine keeps me focused, grounded and a lil more prepared.

Last week, snow forced me to the gym as it has for the last several weeks truth be told. I usually love running in the mornings, that's my jam. Snow, ice, sub-zero temps had me heading to the gym. I had been running the track and the thought of doing it another day seemed daunting, I decided I would change it up and head on the dreadmill. 

I figured I could get through anything with a good playlist and a goal. 

10 miles on the dreadmill then 5 miles on the track. STICK to the PLAN. 

I started strong. A nice conversational pace. I thought I would increase the pace slightly over the ten miles to change it up a bit. The miles clicked by, the music was motivating and before I knew it,  I was more than halfway done and feeling positive I would finish in good spirits. 

Then suddenly the dreadmill came to a slow STOP. I was thrown off my game entirely. That rhythm was GONE, my headspace chaotic. I punched buttons, trying to fix it quickly, but frustration only made it worse. For a moment, I felt like QUITTING. The thought of giving up seemed easier than restarting especially with the time I had lost. 

After a few minutes but what felt like forever, I got the dreadmill moving again, but something was different. 

My legs felt heavier. 

My motivation had waned. 

Every step was harder than before. 

I found myself looking at the digit on the dreadmill like time was just standing still. 

That silly interruption I let derail me, and now it felt like the simple act of moving forward required more effort than I thought I was capable of. 

I had 3 miles left, none of them got any easier but it gave me space to reflect on "when the moments stop." 

WHEN THE MOMENT STOPS

I thought of how we have these moments in life we are just cruising through. We have a good rhythm going when suddenly the rug gets pulled out from underneath us. 

Our routine stops, our rhythm gets interrupted and its hard to wind back up again. 

When relationships stop.

When our jobs stop.

When our health stop.

When loved ones stop.

When our finances stop. 

It can feel unbearable, devastating, confusing, and sometimes the world seems impossible to move through. 

INTERUPTIONS

Interruptions in life-whether minor or monumental- trips us up and we can feel like we lost our momentum. 

They remind me of how fragile our plans are and how quickly things can change. It's in the moments, though, that we have a choice: do we let the interruption define me or do I CHOOSE to keep moving even if it looks different and even if it is more difficult? 

RESTARTING

Restarting that treadmill wasn't that simple. 

Similar to restarting after moments stop isn't easy.

 It can sometimes take COURAGE to keep running when your legs feel like lead, your stamina is sidelined, and my mind is trying to figure it all out.

It takes FAITH to keep going when your heart is heavy.

But it's in the struggle to move forward that we grow stronger. 

Each small step is a victory. 

Each attempt to RESTART is an act of resilience. 

RUNDOWN

When the Tm stopped last week, it wasn't the end of my run-it was a reminder of the perseverance I'm capable of. 

MOMENTS STOP.  But we don't have to. 

Take a BREATH. 

Practice the PAUSE. 

Give yourself some GRACE. 

Adjust your stride maybe in RUNNING and maybe in LIFE but don't stop moving. The rhythm may not feel the same right away and you may never get it back but with time you'll find a groove. And when you do, you'll realize your stronger for having endured the moment stopped. 

 

JAN 20-JAN 26

DISTANCE: 61miles

TERRAIN: Track, TM, Richfield Park, Indian Springs here and there.

CROSS TRAINING: bike

GO-TO'S: I usually make my own smoothies, but I keep these Chobani on hand when I am low on time. I am not a fan of protein bars until I found Barebells, 20G of protein and 0 added sugar in both products. 

"When we learn how to become resilient, we learn how to embrace the beautifully broad spectrum of the human experience. " Jaeda Dewalt

In Peace not Pieces, Anita

3 P's with Purpose

 

This past Sunday, I was home alone all afternoon. Andy had gone to the Auto Show, leaving me with plenty of time to lollygag. It was too cold to run errands-or maybe I was just too lazy. 

Too unmotivated. Too gray. Too this, too that!

So, I stayed in my favorite sweatpants, dilly-dallied around the house, and watched 2 episodes of Matlock with Kathy Bates while doing laundry. But soon enough, I felt like I was about to come out of my skin. The day just creaked by each hour slower than the last. 

Days like this can lead me into a slump. If I'm not careful, too many "too gray" days pile up, and I find myself slipping into a place that's hard to climb out of. Stinking thinking starts to settle in, and those old voices go on replay. 

Running, writing and staying close to the Lord helps me process those thoughts and walk them out. I can take my struggles to the Lord, who counsels and encourages me. 

Recently. I stumbled across some notes I'd written back in 2013 and found 3 SIMPLE REMINDERS for days when I'm feeling low:

THE THREE P'S: Possibilities, Potential, and Perspective. 

1. POSSIBILITIES

"With God, all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26

Even in a slumber, we can be reminded that God has endless POSSIBILITIES for our life. What feels small, insignificant, or mundane to me is never too small in His eyes. It is amazing to think what we consider ordinary; The Lord considers an opportunity for something extraordinary. When we shift our focus on His POSSIBILITIES, the gray begins to lift. 

2. POTENTIAL

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11

God doesn't just see what is-He sees what CAN be. He sees our POTENTIAL even when we feel stuck in sweatpants and slumping around the house! Every day is another chance to grow, to learn, and to be transformed. 

Even in winter, there's potential for new life. I have to remember that growth often happens in the unseen, much like seeds under the frozen Michigan ground. 

3. PERSPECTIVE

  "Set your minds on the things above, not on earthly things." Col. 3:2

Winter, dreary skies, and lazy days are unavoidable. Life isn't about escaping the mess or the dreariness; it's about how we choose to RESPOND to it. When I take my eyes off myself and try to look through the lens of the Lords PERSPECTIVE, everything changes. 

PERSPECTIVE helps us see that even the slow, creaky days have value. God can use them to teach me patience, to help me rest, or to deepen my reliance on Him. 

The RUNDOWN:

Earlier that Sunday, I joined friends for a 10-mile run at Kensington Metropark. 

WEEKLY STATS:

*Total Miles: 61 miles

*Run Streak: Maintained

*Elevation Gain: 2,838 feet

*Terrain Covered: Trails, backroads, indoor track, metro parks

Running helps my mental health. It releases endorphins which act as a natural antidepressant. Reflecting on my days earlier run I realize how it positively impacted my mood. The camaraderie with friends and the park elements always lifts my spirits. 

This season of gray and cold reminds me that I can't control the weather- or the circumstances of life. But I can choose how I respond. On days when I'm feeling low, I have to remember that God's POSSIBILIES, my POTENTIAL, and His PERSPECTIVE can pull me out of the slump. 

I was feeling a bit low when I realized my wounds were self-inflicted, Glory to God. 

J A D A 

Saturdays run club

In PEACE, not PIECES, 

Anita

Gloomy

 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation..." Phil. 4:12

Another gloomy Michigan day, they have a way of settling into your spirit. But even with the gloom outside, there's always a spark of hope in the goals we set and the progress we make, however small. 

As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the new one, I'm reminded that while I may not be as fast or strong as I once was, there is still so much joy in simply moving forward. 

This year, my goals feel different-NOT less important, but more rooted in Gratitude and Intentionality. 

One of my goals for 2025 is to write more. I am still passionate about running and racing but this year, I'm settling in a little more with contentment and quiet growth. Crushing races and having PR's had a many years and focusing on that at this stage of my running does not carry the same weight. 

I am doing this with my mantra: RELATE, DON'T COMPARE. 

RELATE Don't COMPARE

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." Havelock Ellis 

Comparison isn't always about OTHERS: sometimes, it's about measuring ourselves against who we were yesterday. Reflecting on my past can inspire me to grow, it can also hijack me into unrealistic expectations, especially as my body ages and seasons of life changes. 

Rather than striving to outdo my yesterdays, I am going to try and focus on honoring where I am today and celebrate with contentment where the Lord has me. 

Rather than COMPARE, what if I choose to RELATE.

To connect, to empathize, and learn from OTHERS instead of comparing myself.  

As I navigate my 51 years, I am learning to embrace the NOW- My Pace, My Goals, My Journey- without the weight of COMPARISON. 

RUNDOWN:

I ran a marathon on my ship, the Utopia of the Seas. I was on vacation last week. 

2024 GOALS achieved. 

• Completed a race in every increment
• Ran my yearly mileage goal- and exceeded it by running over 3,200 miles for the year.
• I DID NOT complete a race every month. My FIL got gravely ill, we almost lost him. I still ran every month BUT MAY, I did do 2 races a couple of the months. This one I gave myelf grace on. 

Even though I didn't achieve every goal I wanted, I'm carrying those over into 2025 with a little grace for myself. 

2024 RACES:

JAN: In w/ New 5k, Yankee Springs 50miler

FEB: Snow Moon Run 25K, Treasure Coast Marathon, Sailfish 5K

MAR: Pot-O-Gold 4Miler, Blackbeards Revenge 100K, 

APRIL; Thumbcoast 50Miler

MAY: 

JUNE: Kettle Moraine 100

JULY: Bastille 15K, North Country 50K, Crim10miler

AUG: Kaui Marathon 26.2

SEPT: Midwest to Everest 50mile

OCT: Chicago Marathon 26.2

NOV: Flint 5k Turkey Trail Trot, Black toenail 1/2 marathon

DEC: Run Like the Dickens 10K

In Closing, 

"Gratitude turns what we have into ENOUGH." Anonymous

As these winter days collect, and I find myself wearing my favorite sweatpants day after day trying to keep myself out of a slumber, I am reminded to rest in contentment. My morning run was really rough, we were on the back roads of Metamora and the terrain was like running in mashed potatoes. Even though I had micro spikes I couldn't get any grip. I wanted to quit 5 miles in. The winds were blistering coming off the open farms and the hills were relentless. My original goal was 20 miles. I wanted to quit after 3 miles. I made it to 17 miles by the grace of God. In the quiet space of suffering I heard my breath, loud and exhausted, my hip was on fire and my hamstrings were so tight I thought they were going to snap. But it was the voices of discouragement that was screaming the most. I thought back to the days when I would run without pain and full of power, that voice needed to be silenced. I had to flip the script without comparing but with contentment. 

Not comparison, rather contentment. A heart of gratitude. Each day finding things to be thankful for. And giving myself grace in the areas I fall short. 

Even on my worst day, I am so blessed. 

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." Epicurus

In Peace, not Pieces,

Anita

66 times around ships track to conclude a marathon. This was a first for me, run a marathon on the ocean! I was so blessed to have my coworkers there to encourage mand cheer me on!