A New Song in your Heart.

 

"HE MADE MY FEET LIKE THE FEET OF A DEER AND SET ME SECURE ON THE HEIGHTS." PSALM 18:33

Winters in Michigan have a way of wearing us down, both physically and mentally. We are finally on the other side of things, minus a little ice storm upper Michigan had over the weekend. The shorter days, the relentless cold, the repetitive rhythm of life can make us feel like we're on an endless loop, a song played on repeat, over and over again. I have clung to hope that brighter days were coming, smiling and laughing my way in hope, knowing deep down that a new season would eventually emerge. 

This winter felt longer that most. The road miles for training were unrelenting, pounding the pavement, layering up, and retracing the same routes week after week. 

My body felt it. 

My mind felt it. 

The weight of the monotony took its toll, not just on my muscles but on my spirit. But like many of you, we pressed ON knowing that the winter season was coming to an end. 

A NEW Song

Today, that change finally came. And the shorts came out! Andy and I headed out to Holly Rec, and the trails welcomed us like an old friend. I wasn't concerned about pace; I knew my training needed 10 miles and coming off a 22-mile run yesterday, just made this run more of a date with the hubby. I let the joy of simply being in the woods encompass me. 

The hills came, but they didn't feel like obstacles. The mud and mess of the thawing trail were reminders that new life was stirring. I was smiling through my sweat. As we wove through the woods, I felt it- a new song rising in my heart. 

"Behold, I am doing a new thing; Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?" Isaiah 43:19

Sometimes, we need a shift in perspective. 

Life, like running has seasons. there are times when we're stuck in the grind, pounding out miles on familiar roads, and then there are times when we step onto a different path and feel the spark of renewal. Just as the trails offer a change of scenery for my body, they also offer a fresh rhythm for my spirit. 

Don't let the tough season you are in or coming out of scare you. You can still FLY. 

TRAIL vs ROAD

Different path's same goal

Andy has been so consistent in his running, and I love watching him getting faster and stronger. But today he was down on himself on the trails. 

His body was not welcoming the elevation the way his spirit was welcoming the woods. 

ROAD RUNNING builds mental toughness and consistency. It teaches us discipline-showing up even when it's hard, enduring the grind, and building endurance through repetition. 

TRAIL RUNNING invites us to be present, to engage differently. You have to stay alert. The uneven terrain strengthens stabilizing muscles, the varied elevation changes challenge the heart, and the scenery awakens the spirit. 

RUNDOWN:

When feeling worn out- in running or life, sometimes all we need is a change of scenery to refresh us. The trails remind me that while the path may be more challenging, the reward is a renewed spirit and perspective. 

And sometimes you have to find things that make you smile...Like a Sharkie in the ditch! I ran 2 miles with this through Grand Blanc. 

Or the infamous ROOSTER...Who knows where this beauty is located??

MILES: 73.15

ELEVATION; 3,517FT

HOURS: 12h 45min

MARCH MILES: 319 miles

Whether on the road or pressing forward through a difficult season, or finding renewal on the trails, remember each step brings you closer to brighter days that God has prepared. 

Embrace the new season. Run with JOY. And lets a New Song rise in your Heart. 

In PEACE, not PIECES, 

ANITA

 

The Depths

"I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." Deut. 30:19 

I was born a nobody. 

I came from nothing.

And I was only expected to be a nobody. 

Harsh words. But they were true. The weight of my past once felt inescapable. A calling that always whispered. 

My cousin Vince recently sent me a photo of one of the houses I lived in before I entered the foster care system. An old red brick vernacular style home. The paint was peeling, the deck falling apart, planks missing like the gaps in a broken story. 

My story. 

The windows-some cracked, some veiled by blinds, hiding the brokenness within. But even in that wreckage, the exterior was still the best part. 

What happened inside told a different story-one of chaos, pain, hopelessness, chained to more hopelessness. 

When my cousin asked if I remembered the house, I wished I didn't. I hate that I have such darkness in my memory. I often search the depths of my mind, looking for moments of light, a spark, a glimmer, but I return empty. 

The memories I do retrieve, I toss back into the abyss, unsure if they're even worth holding onto. But even in those moments, I remember- I HAVE A CHOICE. 

The CHOICE:

A choice to OVERCOME. 

A choice to change the course of history for both myself and my family. 

A choice to live in HOPE. 

A choice to live free from the bondage of addiction. 

A choice to forgive even the nonspeakables. 

A choice to follow the LORD. 

None of these choices have been easy, but they have been worth it. 

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2

The Power of CHOICE

Every day we face choices. We can let excuses direct us, or we can take responsibility and ownership. We all have scapegoats. I have a abyss of them. It's easy to ride on blame. But blame doesn't change our reality. 

We can't always change how we feel, but we can change how we respond. 

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward what is ahead, I press toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13-14 

That was the case two weeks ago when I realized I missed my milage. I couldn't go back and fix it but I could be more intentional last week. 

Training Plans and Life Plans

My training plan is a collection of different runs. Some days are easy, others are hard. I can miss a run or fall short of a milage goal, and to others, it might still look like success. But I know where I fell short. 

Life is the same. 

Success in my running isn't defined by perfection-as much as it is progress. And progress looks different to different people. 

Lifes journey is a series of choices, and just like in my running I have to make choices. 

My running plan isn't going to work if my plan doesn't have RUNNING in it! 

Our life plans for success have to have the common thread of intentional growth and for me that is my FAITH. 

THE RUNDOWN: 

80/20 rule: 

80% of runs should be at LOW intensity (Easy pace, conversational effort)

20% of runs can be moderate to high intensity (tempo, intervals, hills)

HEART RATE ZONES:

Zone 1-2 Easy effort (below 75% max HR) for endurance

Zone 3-4 Moderate to high effort for speed and strength (About 75%_90% max HR)

MON 18.33miles, TRAIL miles, HIGH elevation, 17% zone 1, 83% zone 2, pace 11:25min/mi

RACE, POT-O-Gold 4 miler, 2.5%zone1, 79.1%zone2, 18.4%zone 3, pace 7:25min/mi

TUES. Streak mile

WED: 7.25miles, 3.4% zone 1, 96.6% zone 2, 8:26min/mi

THUR: 17.39miles, 18% zone 1, 81% zone 2, pace 11:13min/mi

FRI: streak mile

SAT: 20.10miles 51% zone 1, 49% zone 2, pace 9:46min/mi

SUN: 12.14miles HR 46% zone 1, 50% zone 2, pace 11:15min/mi, Walked .70mile cooldown

I got over 80 miles last week. But this was all about EFFORT not INTENSITY.  

Just as I lace up my shoes and hit the path before me, whether I feel like it or not, I choose to stay on course. And when I fall short, I don't quit-I remember that darkness. Careful not to let it bait me but enough to let it inspire me. 

I remembered the feeling a couple weeks ago when I realized I fell short of my miles. I also REMEMBER some of those runs I didn't FEEL like doing. 

Some of those days I was miserable and quit. 

I had a choice...some days the choice is easy, some days you have to go into the depths of your darkness to keep you moving forward. 

In peace, not Pieces,

Anita

The Port: Poison to Live

 "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while..." 1 Peter 1:6-7

Little While Times

Anxiety would creep in slowly, hidden beneath my smiles, optimism, and positivity. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince more-myself or others- that I was joyful and fearless. Both of which felt like lies the closer we got. 

The smell as we entered the room was sterile and medicinal, a scent that added to my anxiety but would be quickly dissolved once my nurses saw me and loved on me. As if they knew how fragile I was underneath my fearless appearance. 

I followed the routine, walking back to get my blood work carrying my fake optimism. My "vampire" also cheery and routinely reminding me to "uncross your legs". I held out my arm as she tightened the tourniquet, searching for my bulging veins. I secretly prayed they would cooperate as she stuck me with the needle. I would nervously make jokes trying to make it all seem like it wasn't actually happening. 

Like I really didn't have this cancer diagnosis. 

After the fourth vial, she kindly untied me and directed me to the chemo room. 

My nurses had become my friends, after all, we had seen each other for months, every other week and then every week. I called them my angels. But that didn't take the sting away from what was about to happen. They hung my port, and I looked away. For many reasons. I didn't want my armor to crack as I felt the lump in my throat tighten. I blinked back the tears of reality. 

My bags were hung, my port was cleaned, and I felt that familiar poke yet again. 

Blink back the tears Anita. 

Within seconds I could taste the metal. I could smell the drugs in my nose. I could feel it entering into my body. 

This was the moment I hated the most-the feeling of the poison coursing through my veins. My temperature would rise, my body would fatigue, my stomach would turn, and my limbs would twitch like a crack head. It was so confusing because it felt like death, and they were trying to convince me: this was giving me life. 

Even though I looked like death. 

Even though I felt like death.

Even though It hurt in ways I couldn't describe.

I HAD to believe that this suffering was serving a purpose. I had to trust that it was saving me. 

I would remind myself AGAIN and AGAIN to be FEARLESS, not to give up. To not be afraid the Lord is taking care of me. I reminded myself these were just LITTLE WHILE TIMES and this was the cross I was meant to bear. 

WHEN IT FEELS LIKE DEATH:REFINED

There are moments in life when pain enters our hearts like a needle in our skin, moments when suffering feels unbearable. 

It may not be chemotherapy, but it could be betrayal, loss, heartbreak, or grief. We endure things that feel like they are destroying us, yet somehow, they are shaping us for something greater. We can feel this heavy pain taking course through our entire body and it is so heavy. 

Just as chemo feels like death but brings life, sometimes God allows us to walk though suffering to bring about something greater in us. 

The pain we endure is not pointless- it is doing something we cannot see and often do not understand. 

It is refining us. 

It is producing endurance, character and hope. 

RUNDOWN:

Praising God every day. 

Glory to Glory

 "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ" 1 Peter 1:6-7

Sometimes even training feels like death. Week after week we are adding more suffering, we are feeling more abuse, and we are getting tired. 

There are times when we feel like our bodies are breaking down, yet we press on, trusting the process. 

Sometimes, like me being sick I had setbacks. But in faith, we hang on to hope and don't give up. 

DISTANCE: 66 miles

ELEVATION: 2,400ft

TRAILS: Island Lake

I am actually a couple miles behind this week on for my training plan. The next several weeks I am going to have to be more intentional.

I am so busy with life that running has been interrupted. 

I also do not want running to become an obsession so I make sure to have a life outside of running. 

This gives me a healthy balance and keeps me from burn-out. 

The long miles, the set-backs and the discomfort are all necessary to build endurance and strength. In the same way, the trials we face in life may feel like they are tearing us apart, but God is using them to refine us, to make us stronger. and to prepare us for something greater. 

Our Pain has a Purpose. Both on in our training and in life. 

In Peace, Not Pieces, 

ANITA

Tripped up, Trails or Trials

 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and siters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

Spring was in the air this morning. The sky was a endless blue as we headed out to the frozen trails at Island Lake. 

 

As we ran down the connector trails to the BLUE loop the path was etched with a history of imprints. Bikers, runners, hikers, dogs and tracks of wildlife. 

That ice crusted section was not pleasant and thankfully only lasted less than a mile. Once we entered the trail it was smoother. I would like to say more runnable, but it wasn't long before I tripped over something hidden under the leaves. A brisk reminder who was really in charge. 

Respect the trail.

Some miles were conversational miles. 

Some miles were silenced miles. 

But even in the silence, the woods were never that quiet or still. 

Three deer startled, I am convinced by my loudmouth, crashed through the brush in front of us. 

Squirrels rustled in the leaves. 

Woodpeckers tapped about; birds called out. 

I even thought I saw an eagle, I always think I see an eagle, but I was still excited to see a pair of red-tail hawks gliding through the trees. 

The woods were not quiet, they were waking up!

BUT what I heard most, was my own body. 

My breathing.

My thoughts. 

"Difficulties strengthen the mind as labor does the body." Seneca

My body was still sore from another week of high mileage. But mostly from tubing and horseback riding like a twelve-year-old over the weekend. 

A body that I was carefully trying to navigate over roots, rocks, bridges, and hills, I was feeling every step. 

My thoughts were going back to the soreness of my body and my HEART. In just a few weeks, we lost another young adult from our youth group from another overdose. It triggered so many memories. We ran through a trailer park to get to the trail. I was mostly silent, but my thoughts were so loud.  

Grief. deepest grief. This portion of our run was like running through time. Old trailers, side by side, broken down cars in the streets, half done projects pieced together with the best intentions. These thoughts colliding with the loss of two beautiful girls, and a beautiful mother, my mother. 

The silence was deafening as the brokenness of addiction screamed in my heart. 

I didn't care for this portion of the run. Even though the path was smooth, the obstacles of the heart were hard. 

CHANGE is never EASY. But the only way through is through. 

The Trouble with TRAILS. 

Even though I LOVE the trail, the trail does not always love me back. (A free commercial about relationships and life)

Maybe that is why I keep returning. Because it is hard. because it demands something of me. 

The trails are relentless. 

Sometimes unforgiving. 

It trips you up. 

And it sometimes leaves you lost. 

Because within its struggle, the grit of getting through, the suffering of endless obstacles, there is a beauty that is so fulfilling. 

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and siters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

THE RUNDOWN

"The best way out is always through." Robert Frost

DISTANCE: 68 miles

ELEVATION:3.300

WEEKS TO GO: 12 weeks until my 100 miler, Sulphur Springs. 

The TRAIL, like LIFE, is filled with obstacles, challenges and things that will trip you up. It will challenge you and sometimes it will leave you lost. 

Life can leave you lost. But it challenges you to find your footing again. And yet in faith, in chaos there is peace. 

Because life was never meant to be easy. 

Relationships were never meant to be effortless. 

Silence is really never truly silent. 

Even in the noise, there is PEACE. 

And when you fall, you get back up. 

Today, I took some time to grieve. I found myself tearful with my niece, unaware of how sensitive the loss of these two gals had left me today. 

Like running the trails, I allowed my heart to feel throughout the day. I let myself grieve and gave way to the hurt my heart was encompassed with. 

In Peace, not Pieces, 

Anita

Body Battery

 "He Who is Most Attached to a Particular Outcome Has the Least Amount of Power." 

Some weeks, the miles add up, but they aren't MIGHTY. Some weeks, the weight of life presses so hard that just getting out the door feels like a victory. 

Running with friends and the deep chatter we share gave me some perspective on a couple topics that we touch on in both LIFE and RUNNING. 

Last week, was a struggle to stay motivated as another dreary, cold and windy week covered us. A friend of mine reminded me about giving ourselves GRACE.

ATTACHED:

 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9

I can understand getting ATTACHED to some outcomes, but often we get ATTACHED to many outcomes. We back ourselves in a corner full of tight goals and expectations. We take the fun our of life and running. 

I set goals because they give me direction. They give me a motivation to lace up my shoes and move forward. But sometimes, I hold onto them so tightly that they become chains instead of stepping stones. 

I get too ATTACHED. 

"Debbie" reminded last week about GRACE. 

How often do we push ourselves to a breaking point because we fear what it means to fall short?

How often do we measure success by rigid expectations rather than by the endurance of simply showing up? 

Running to me mirrors life. 

Somedays the goal is to push, to strive, to improve. Other days, the goal is simply to SURVIVE! To put one foot in front of the other, to move forward even when everything feels so heavy.

GRACE is the permission to we give ourselves to slow down without guilt. GRACE reminds me that effort still matters just as much as outcome.  Grace gives me a pause, allows me to catch my breath so I can get back out there with a full battery. 

Last week the miles were many, but they weren't mighty. And that was good for me. Because last week , I needed to just sustain. I needed room to breathe both physically and emotionally. 

Grace gave me that space. 

Our Power

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:31

We are all created with a inner power. Some call it strength, resilience, or drive. For me, my power come from my FAITH. The Lord gives me the breath in my lungs, He keeps me moving forward, not just in running but also in Life. 

But POWER isn't just about pushing harder or striving. Your POWER should come from a humble spirit and wisdom to knowing when to push and when to rest. 

My Garmin has a "Body Battery" feature. It tells me when I've depleted my energy and when I need recovery. It reminds me when I have over done it!

Wouldn't it be nice if life had the same warning system? If it sometimes told us:

"Let it go."

"Take a breath."

"You need to rest." 

But life does give us those signals-we just don't always listen, or maybe I just don't listen! 

Stress drains me. 

Overcommitment depletes me. 

Holding onto anger, fear, or expectations we can't control robs us of our POWER. 

We give away our POWER when we refuse to rest. when we allow circumstances to determine our worth, or when we let worry steal our peace. 

POWER isn't in controlling the outcome- it's in trusting the process. It's in knowing when to push and when to surrender and Let Go or "Let Them". 

Sometimes our power is in the discernment of knowing when to hold our GOALS loosely and embrace GRACE fully. 

RUNDOWN

Miles: 70.22

Elevation: 2,270

Feb. Miles: 255miles

Last week's miles I concentrated on LOW HEART RATE and had a lot of success staying mostly in Zone one and Zone 2 for the weeks runs. 

Last week the goal was to run more miles with less intensity. To keep my heart rate low, mostly in ZONE 2. 

I was intentional about my diet and protien intake for proper recovery. The goal was to be between 50-60 grams of protein. KATES bars are one of my favorite snacks. 
Smoked Salmon, Cottage Cheese, Eggs, Smoothies, Turkey Jerky, yogurt are some of my daily staples. 

My miles weren't mighty, but they were many. Training for an ultra requires long slow running.  

Last week, I chose GRACE over pressure because the pressures of life were many and let go of running hard, running fast, or running exhausted. It felt so good to walk the hills, to settle down, to have conversations while running. And I had peace when I was finished. 

Remember to ENJOY the JOURNEY.

 In Peace, Not Pieces, 

ANiIA

Jazz, Andy and I. 20mph winds and 20 degree weather. BRUTAL. But we did it!

 

BALANCE; Training Plans

 

NUMBERS Only!

• 26 days until SPRING
• I was sick for 14 days, 3 days of a fever. 
• My girlfriend traveled 22 miles to save my life from the dreaded flu. 
• 92 days, 13 weeks until Sulphur Springs 100m. 

WINTER-TRAINING

Winter-the season where your driveway is a skating rink, i would know, Andys mom got stuck in it last week. When your morning run feels like an Artic expedition, frozen eyelashes, clodhopping in snow and subzero temps. And my motivation to run hibernates with the woodland animals. 

TRAINING PLANS are a MUST for me. 

TRAINING PLANS:

"A goal without a plan is just a wish." Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Training plans either written by you or someone who inspires you help to rescue me from the comfort of my cozy blanket and 5th cup of coffee. They help me to stay on track. 

LIFE requires training plans. In running and in LIFE. 

Gods word is always my number ONE training plan that gives me purpose and perspective. 

Both the bible and a running training plan allows me to have BALANCE. 

WINTER WOES

"Why, my soul are your downcast? Why so disturbed within me?" Psalm 42:11

It has been 20' outside, and many days single digits with the wind chill factor in there. Fresh snow has covered everything, yes, it beautiful, but that beauty has lost its luster. The wind has sliced through my layers like a Freddy Krueger horror film, the running paths are either slushy and slick or ankle-deep snow threatening to snap your ankles. 

YEAH!! Winter running. Insert sarcasm. 

However, these are the moments when a training plan becomes your best friend. It reminds you of your goals, keeps you focused, and, most importantly, provides the BALANCE needed to navigate both the treacherous terrain and your busy life. 

BALANCING ACT

"In their heart humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

Training plans aren't just about logging miles; they're about creating BALANCE in your life. With a structured plan I can juggle FRIENDSHIPS, Lead BIBLE STUDIES, MAINTAIN a clean home, summer garden, CHICKENS, WORK, FAMILY and DATE nights with my hubby and have time for a book a month. I have a life that has balance, running doesn't become an obsession. 

Despite what many believe. 

Training plans are like having a personal assistant who schedules your workouts between meetups and mops! 

FUN FACTS:

• Companies that offer comprehensive training programs have a 218% higher income per employee than those without formal training. 

While this stat pertains to the corporate world, it highlights the value of structured training- whether in the office or running. 

TURN the FROWN Upside Down: Countering OBSTACLES

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

I am more hyper the older I get about busting my coon-dog running in the winter. I have had Andy pick me up from the collar to save me from face planting and I have had a few flailing limbs in the air trying to balance myself from slipping. The layers and layers that make me look like the Michlin Man is something I try to laugh off especially when I start sweating the first mile. 

This winter I have had a few obstacles. Training Plans help you get back on track. Those unfortunate circumstances don't have to derail you, you just have to get creative to find another path. 

GETTING SICK. 

Prioritize REST and RECOVERY. This is hard for me. I did drop my mileage down when I was sick. 

I also loaded up on herbs, peroxide baths, vitamins and rest. I eventually had to bite the bullet and get an antibiotic. 

Once I began to feel better, I eased back into running, with less intensity, adding more walk breaks, and even more walking than running. 

UNRUNNABLE TRAILS/ Roads

I live on a dirt road. Most of the winter it has been a slippery, snowy mess. The trails this year have gotten so much snow that they are several inches high of ungroomed paths. Even the sidewalks in Holly have not been cleared. 

I have been on the indoor Track, out of the elements and unfortunately without elevation but getting my miles. 

I have traveled to the Metroparks a lot this winter, they do a pretty good job plowing the paved path. I did however find myself 5 feet in the snowbank last week! The park rangers at Indian Springs were AMAZING and saved me a tow bill! 

STAYING MOTIVATED IN THE Cold Weather

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can" Arthur Ashe

• FIND A Training PLAN! 
• Register for a race a MONTH, this is what I do, and it gives me something to look forward to. 
• Incorporating activities that make cold weather running sorta enjoyable! INVEST in the proper gear, find friends or have post run festivities like going to Parlor Donuts or Tim Hortons afterwards. I love that. 

RUNDOWN: 

Weekly Miles; 69miles 

Elevation: 2,700

Speedwork: 5X800m yassos @3:27 w/400m C/D

FEB RACE: FROSTY 5K. We ran 10 miles before the race, and 2 miles after the race. There was NO shot I was RACING this; the course was a mess! Of course, racing it was never an option. But it was fun. The hardest part was I got 15 miles in, but I needed 20 miles. When I got home, I had to conquer my mind and SHUT UP and RUN another 5 solo miles. 

I have run a lot of SOLO miles. And have had to run a few miles sick. 

And the truth is, I am sure some of the miles ran were just plain stupid. But it comes down to not allowing my excuses to have power over me. I would rather run stupid then not try at all and give my negative dialogue a voice of power. 

 Conquer the negative! 

A COUPLE Questions to REFLECT on.

• Are you open to alternative routes or resources? Treadmills, tracks, trails, parks, ect. 
• Have you ever joined a running group? Connecting with others helps to motivate us. 
• Have you added a little adventure in your running, fun runs every so often encourages and prevents burn out. 

In Peace, Not Peices,

Anita

 

Every Rose has its Thorns

"It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you don't stop." Confucious

Last week was a grind. 

Michigan's sick bug hit me like a freight train- like it had a personal vendetta against. 9 days, but who's counting?! I got pulverized with coughing, sneezing runny nose, fever and fatigue - all while being trapped in a gloomy Michigan winter. 

I was supposed to be grinding out my training. But between the single digit temps, snow, ice, and my body turning into a walking NyQuil commercial, I started wondering if maybe I should just trade in my running shoes for a nice, local knitting club. 

The Hypocrite Chronicles

I wrote this rhyme about 20 years ab=got-one of those golden rules of running:

"If it's in your head, get out of bed. If its in your chest it's best to rest." 

So, like a responsible adult, I followed my own advice at first, I stayed in bed. I let my body recover. 

But then...the miles quit adding up. And because I was laid up, my brain told me I still needed to show up. 

SO naturally I ate my words. 

The moment my fever broke, I was at GAC, shuffling around the track-one mile at a time.

I knew I shouldn't be doing it. But I also knew I needed to. 

I was prepared to get off the track if my body protested too hard. I kept my heart rate low, adding walk breaks every two laps, and made a deal with myself: "SUFFER WISELY."

"I Don't Feel Sorry For You." 

I have heard this before. I get it. When I push through when I probably shouldn't sympathy isn't exactly in high supply.

But here's the thing: Training for 100 miles is about suffering. If I can't run while sick and suffer through, then how am I going to suffer through 100 miles?

This is part of the process.

This is where I learn to adapt, to push, to be smart about when to fight and when to fold. 

So Yeah, last week was rough. But I'm still here. 

And still a little off my rocker. 

RUNDOWN;

Feb 3-Feb 9

Miles: 47.59 

(training goal 64) 

Wednesday: speedwork

THURSDAY was the day I ran a half marathon outside and by the time I hit 10 miles I knew I had done serious damage. I didn't know I was that sick until it was too late. 

STREAK: So I challenged myself to this mile streak. Two days this week I had a temperature that I had to run just 1 mile. I bundled up like the Michelin Man and loaded up on meds. I didn't really run, I just tried to stay upright. 

I just kept telling myself, "You can do anything for 15 minutes Anita. 

This is NOT a free commercial to follow my training. But it is a little motivational nudge to challenge yourself. 

Stop quitting and start trying. 

In Peace, Not Pieces, 

Anita

The Trails Less Traveled: preparing for the 100

Making crazy goals and doing stupid things means I had to be accountable to myself. Sulfur Springs 100 miler in May was a Christmas gift from Andy. Training for a 100-mile race means you really never stop training. And never stop trusting God to direct you and keep you, especially when you have not been able to dodge the Michigan cold season. That is why, despite feeling like garbage, I still laced up my shoes and headed out the door to do Mondays version of dumb stuff.

Of course, making the decisions when you feel awful is easy-you just DON'T make them. Thats how I ended up at Indian Springs. It was one of 4 choices:

1. Indian Springs
2. Kensington
3. GAC
4. Richfield Park

It came down to a digital coin toss that sealed my fate!

INDIAN SPRINGS

I've been running at Indian Springs for over 20 years. It's straightforward 8-mile lollipop-shaped paved trail: 3 miles straight out, a 2-mile loop, and then back. There are only so many ways to run it. And yet, today, we somehow squeezed out 18 miles while barely touching the pavement.  

The Trails less Traveled

"There is magic in misery. Just ask any runner." Dean Karnazes

After about 3 miles of slipping and skating on slick, icy pavement, we made the executive decision (not mine, obviously) to hit the trails. Since I felt awful, my main priority was not making decisions. So, I followed along blindly, hoping for the best. 

As the miles and trails tangled together, we just trusted the process or at least trusting whoever looked the most confident, NOT ME.  The fog made everything eerily creepy. Or maybe it was the last 2 nights of horror films I had watched that had me a little paranoid! I was too tired to care. My head was swimming, my nose was running, and my energy was somewhere back at the car wishing I had just stayed in bed. 

I had made the 18-mile goal the night before when I still felt decent. One minute we were cruising along, and the next we were ankle deep in crusty, icy snow, questioning Monday's choices. Several times I was informed that we had already run the same trail two or three times. It looked familiar but at that point, everything was a blur. 

Was I lost? NO. Did I know where I was? Also NO. But I didn't have to know. 

Here are a few things I DO know with Sulfur Springs:

"You don't stop running because you get old, you get old because you stop running." Jack Kirk

1. 16 weeks away
2. A 20K loop course
3. Nestled in the Niagra Escarpment
4. 16 weeks out: average weekly miles, 63. 

RUNDOWN:

"If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry- you'll get over it." Gene Thibeault

The TRAIL less traveled didn't prove to be any easier. And many miles I questioned when we would get back to some steady footing. But I tried to not focus on the END. Rather the original GOAL. If I fast forwarded too much, I would miss the lessons in the in between. 

Isn't that what we do? We forget to soak the training portion up. Embrace the hard climbs, we get discouraged with the obstacles and getting lost along the way. These are all part of the training. 

Today, I was trying in my miserable state to not be negative. 

It's GOOD TRAINING. 

There are parts of trail running, or any running that teaches you the grit, that offer lessons every mile on resilience and patience. 

When we are just trying to achieve the GOAL, we miss the beauty in between. 

In Peace, not Pieces

Anita

 

When the Moment stops.

"It's your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determined how your life's story will develop." 

Dieter F Uchtdorf 

 I am a creature of routine. My mornings are my favorite part of the day. I am usually up by 6am, coffee in hand just minutes later and peacefully spending quiet time in the word. 

Structure is essential for my special brain; the ADHD is like a ping pong ball without it. Routine keeps me focused, grounded and a lil more prepared.

Last week, snow forced me to the gym as it has for the last several weeks truth be told. I usually love running in the mornings, that's my jam. Snow, ice, sub-zero temps had me heading to the gym. I had been running the track and the thought of doing it another day seemed daunting, I decided I would change it up and head on the dreadmill. 

I figured I could get through anything with a good playlist and a goal. 

10 miles on the dreadmill then 5 miles on the track. STICK to the PLAN. 

I started strong. A nice conversational pace. I thought I would increase the pace slightly over the ten miles to change it up a bit. The miles clicked by, the music was motivating and before I knew it,  I was more than halfway done and feeling positive I would finish in good spirits. 

Then suddenly the dreadmill came to a slow STOP. I was thrown off my game entirely. That rhythm was GONE, my headspace chaotic. I punched buttons, trying to fix it quickly, but frustration only made it worse. For a moment, I felt like QUITTING. The thought of giving up seemed easier than restarting especially with the time I had lost. 

After a few minutes but what felt like forever, I got the dreadmill moving again, but something was different. 

My legs felt heavier. 

My motivation had waned. 

Every step was harder than before. 

I found myself looking at the digit on the dreadmill like time was just standing still. 

That silly interruption I let derail me, and now it felt like the simple act of moving forward required more effort than I thought I was capable of. 

I had 3 miles left, none of them got any easier but it gave me space to reflect on "when the moments stop." 

WHEN THE MOMENT STOPS

I thought of how we have these moments in life we are just cruising through. We have a good rhythm going when suddenly the rug gets pulled out from underneath us. 

Our routine stops, our rhythm gets interrupted and its hard to wind back up again. 

When relationships stop.

When our jobs stop.

When our health stop.

When loved ones stop.

When our finances stop. 

It can feel unbearable, devastating, confusing, and sometimes the world seems impossible to move through. 

INTERUPTIONS

Interruptions in life-whether minor or monumental- trips us up and we can feel like we lost our momentum. 

They remind me of how fragile our plans are and how quickly things can change. It's in the moments, though, that we have a choice: do we let the interruption define me or do I CHOOSE to keep moving even if it looks different and even if it is more difficult? 

RESTARTING

Restarting that treadmill wasn't that simple. 

Similar to restarting after moments stop isn't easy.

 It can sometimes take COURAGE to keep running when your legs feel like lead, your stamina is sidelined, and my mind is trying to figure it all out.

It takes FAITH to keep going when your heart is heavy.

But it's in the struggle to move forward that we grow stronger. 

Each small step is a victory. 

Each attempt to RESTART is an act of resilience. 

RUNDOWN

When the Tm stopped last week, it wasn't the end of my run-it was a reminder of the perseverance I'm capable of. 

MOMENTS STOP.  But we don't have to. 

Take a BREATH. 

Practice the PAUSE. 

Give yourself some GRACE. 

Adjust your stride maybe in RUNNING and maybe in LIFE but don't stop moving. The rhythm may not feel the same right away and you may never get it back but with time you'll find a groove. And when you do, you'll realize your stronger for having endured the moment stopped. 

 

JAN 20-JAN 26

DISTANCE: 61miles

TERRAIN: Track, TM, Richfield Park, Indian Springs here and there.

CROSS TRAINING: bike

GO-TO'S: I usually make my own smoothies, but I keep these Chobani on hand when I am low on time. I am not a fan of protein bars until I found Barebells, 20G of protein and 0 added sugar in both products. 

"When we learn how to become resilient, we learn how to embrace the beautifully broad spectrum of the human experience. " Jaeda Dewalt

In Peace not Pieces, Anita

3 P's with Purpose

 

This past Sunday, I was home alone all afternoon. Andy had gone to the Auto Show, leaving me with plenty of time to lollygag. It was too cold to run errands-or maybe I was just too lazy. 

Too unmotivated. Too gray. Too this, too that!

So, I stayed in my favorite sweatpants, dilly-dallied around the house, and watched 2 episodes of Matlock with Kathy Bates while doing laundry. But soon enough, I felt like I was about to come out of my skin. The day just creaked by each hour slower than the last. 

Days like this can lead me into a slump. If I'm not careful, too many "too gray" days pile up, and I find myself slipping into a place that's hard to climb out of. Stinking thinking starts to settle in, and those old voices go on replay. 

Running, writing and staying close to the Lord helps me process those thoughts and walk them out. I can take my struggles to the Lord, who counsels and encourages me. 

Recently. I stumbled across some notes I'd written back in 2013 and found 3 SIMPLE REMINDERS for days when I'm feeling low:

THE THREE P'S: Possibilities, Potential, and Perspective. 

1. POSSIBILITIES

"With God, all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26

Even in a slumber, we can be reminded that God has endless POSSIBILITIES for our life. What feels small, insignificant, or mundane to me is never too small in His eyes. It is amazing to think what we consider ordinary; The Lord considers an opportunity for something extraordinary. When we shift our focus on His POSSIBILITIES, the gray begins to lift. 

2. POTENTIAL

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11

God doesn't just see what is-He sees what CAN be. He sees our POTENTIAL even when we feel stuck in sweatpants and slumping around the house! Every day is another chance to grow, to learn, and to be transformed. 

Even in winter, there's potential for new life. I have to remember that growth often happens in the unseen, much like seeds under the frozen Michigan ground. 

3. PERSPECTIVE

  "Set your minds on the things above, not on earthly things." Col. 3:2

Winter, dreary skies, and lazy days are unavoidable. Life isn't about escaping the mess or the dreariness; it's about how we choose to RESPOND to it. When I take my eyes off myself and try to look through the lens of the Lords PERSPECTIVE, everything changes. 

PERSPECTIVE helps us see that even the slow, creaky days have value. God can use them to teach me patience, to help me rest, or to deepen my reliance on Him. 

The RUNDOWN:

Earlier that Sunday, I joined friends for a 10-mile run at Kensington Metropark. 

WEEKLY STATS:

*Total Miles: 61 miles

*Run Streak: Maintained

*Elevation Gain: 2,838 feet

*Terrain Covered: Trails, backroads, indoor track, metro parks

Running helps my mental health. It releases endorphins which act as a natural antidepressant. Reflecting on my days earlier run I realize how it positively impacted my mood. The camaraderie with friends and the park elements always lifts my spirits. 

This season of gray and cold reminds me that I can't control the weather- or the circumstances of life. But I can choose how I respond. On days when I'm feeling low, I have to remember that God's POSSIBILIES, my POTENTIAL, and His PERSPECTIVE can pull me out of the slump. 

I was feeling a bit low when I realized my wounds were self-inflicted, Glory to God. 

J A D A 

Saturdays run club

In PEACE, not PIECES, 

Anita

Gloomy

 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation..." Phil. 4:12

Another gloomy Michigan day, they have a way of settling into your spirit. But even with the gloom outside, there's always a spark of hope in the goals we set and the progress we make, however small. 

As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the new one, I'm reminded that while I may not be as fast or strong as I once was, there is still so much joy in simply moving forward. 

This year, my goals feel different-NOT less important, but more rooted in Gratitude and Intentionality. 

One of my goals for 2025 is to write more. I am still passionate about running and racing but this year, I'm settling in a little more with contentment and quiet growth. Crushing races and having PR's had a many years and focusing on that at this stage of my running does not carry the same weight. 

I am doing this with my mantra: RELATE, DON'T COMPARE. 

RELATE Don't COMPARE

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." Havelock Ellis 

Comparison isn't always about OTHERS: sometimes, it's about measuring ourselves against who we were yesterday. Reflecting on my past can inspire me to grow, it can also hijack me into unrealistic expectations, especially as my body ages and seasons of life changes. 

Rather than striving to outdo my yesterdays, I am going to try and focus on honoring where I am today and celebrate with contentment where the Lord has me. 

Rather than COMPARE, what if I choose to RELATE.

To connect, to empathize, and learn from OTHERS instead of comparing myself.  

As I navigate my 51 years, I am learning to embrace the NOW- My Pace, My Goals, My Journey- without the weight of COMPARISON. 

RUNDOWN:

I ran a marathon on my ship, the Utopia of the Seas. I was on vacation last week. 

2024 GOALS achieved. 

• Completed a race in every increment
• Ran my yearly mileage goal- and exceeded it by running over 3,200 miles for the year.
• I DID NOT complete a race every month. My FIL got gravely ill, we almost lost him. I still ran every month BUT MAY, I did do 2 races a couple of the months. This one I gave myelf grace on. 

Even though I didn't achieve every goal I wanted, I'm carrying those over into 2025 with a little grace for myself. 

2024 RACES:

JAN: In w/ New 5k, Yankee Springs 50miler

FEB: Snow Moon Run 25K, Treasure Coast Marathon, Sailfish 5K

MAR: Pot-O-Gold 4Miler, Blackbeards Revenge 100K, 

APRIL; Thumbcoast 50Miler

MAY: 

JUNE: Kettle Moraine 100

JULY: Bastille 15K, North Country 50K, Crim10miler

AUG: Kaui Marathon 26.2

SEPT: Midwest to Everest 50mile

OCT: Chicago Marathon 26.2

NOV: Flint 5k Turkey Trail Trot, Black toenail 1/2 marathon

DEC: Run Like the Dickens 10K

In Closing, 

"Gratitude turns what we have into ENOUGH." Anonymous

As these winter days collect, and I find myself wearing my favorite sweatpants day after day trying to keep myself out of a slumber, I am reminded to rest in contentment. My morning run was really rough, we were on the back roads of Metamora and the terrain was like running in mashed potatoes. Even though I had micro spikes I couldn't get any grip. I wanted to quit 5 miles in. The winds were blistering coming off the open farms and the hills were relentless. My original goal was 20 miles. I wanted to quit after 3 miles. I made it to 17 miles by the grace of God. In the quiet space of suffering I heard my breath, loud and exhausted, my hip was on fire and my hamstrings were so tight I thought they were going to snap. But it was the voices of discouragement that was screaming the most. I thought back to the days when I would run without pain and full of power, that voice needed to be silenced. I had to flip the script without comparing but with contentment. 

Not comparison, rather contentment. A heart of gratitude. Each day finding things to be thankful for. And giving myself grace in the areas I fall short. 

Even on my worst day, I am so blessed. 

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." Epicurus

In Peace, not Pieces,

Anita

66 times around ships track to conclude a marathon. This was a first for me, run a marathon on the ocean! I was so blessed to have my coworkers there to encourage mand cheer me on!