The little engine that could.

 "Runners come in all shapes and sizes. You don't have to be a scrawny little punk to be a top distance runner, if you have the determination and work your hardest." 
Chris Solinsky, First American to break 27:00 for 10K

DETERMINATION. 

Where is this thing called determination birthed? 

Some like to call it "Stubbornness" or even "Pride". 

I can appreciate that; truth is I have juggled with both stubbornness and pride.

DETERMINATION started as a young girl growing up in a mess. 

Determined to make it through a night as a teenager in a house of drugs, alcohol and chaos to Determined to graduate high school on the honor roll without excuses. 

As a young adult I was determined to make better choices. 

I was determined to make a better life for myself.

I knew at a young age I was going to have to fight all of Hell. But I truly believed God had bigger plans for me. 

"For I know the plans for you..." Jeremiah 29:11

Determined to do more than just survive, I wanted to thrive. 

I thought I just had to do everything opposite of what I saw growing up. 

Andy makes the comment every once in a while, "You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl."

It usually makes me giggle because no matter how hard I try to behave I find myself fighting or as I like to say passion. 

Passion, stubbornness, pride but ultimately DETERMINATION seep out of my pores. 

My demise and my trophy. 

Determination is important to have in marriage as well as parenting. 

Determination is important to have in the center of insecurity and fears. 

Determination is important to have for your integrity. 

Determination is important to have as a child of God in a world against God. 

Truth is I love that feeling of "FIGHT". 

I stroll back to those trailer park days in remembrance of where I learned this thing called DETERMINATION. 

Last week, I was tagged by Cristine King on Facebook showing me where my Determination had taken me. I was given a great shout out by my running group at Complete Runner and a running companion I met on my first 100k shot this to me. 

This is where Determination led me,  UltraRunner Magazine where I made a list highlighting "RACES WON OUTRIGHT BY A WOMAN" 

DETERMINATION.

I have had 3 knee surgeries, 2 less than 1 year from each other, the other in 2020. 

I had to be rushed to the hospital with appendicitis 2 weeks before my first Crim, (That I still ran).

I qualified for Boston on my first marathon in Chicago after they red flagged it due to 90' temps. 

I have had 2 IT band injuries, one 6 weeks before I would run Boston. 

I have been knocked out for an entire summer with Plantar Fascitis. 

And Let's not forget CANCER 6 months of chemo and 20 rounds of radiation with 8 surgeries in 14 months. 

DETERMINATION. 

"Most people quit after the first wind and don't realize they have another." 

You get back up and get out there. You have to be so determined that all of HELL shivers. 

I didn't quit. I might have done it UGLY, but I never threw in the towel. 

And it paid OFF. 

I don't believe in LUCK. I don't believe in FATE. I don't believe in "The God of your understanding" 

and the universe doesn't have a heartbeat. 

"For I know the plans I have for, declares the Lord , plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Cancer just about knocked me out. I remember wanting to fight and I remember wanting God to take me home. 

I hated Cancer. I hated being scared I wasn't going to see my boys grow up. 

I hated being sick and the fear of being sick.

I hated getting poked all the time, blood draws and port infusions. 

I hated having my strength and determination fade from me.  So weak. 

I hated trying to act strong for everyone else. 

When I had my wits about me I would coax myself back in the ring DETERMINED to go another round. 

I knew I had to keep running. I knew that was giving me passion to persist. God kept me strong for those runs. It might have been all I did for the day, and many days it was. 

But I totally believe God had plans for me and He was using my running to Glorify Him. He was using my running to give me Hope. He was using my running to show me the Future He had for me. 

He knew He was going to give me that Race. He knew He was going to put my name in that magazine. He Knew all this. 

He just needed me to keep trusting Him. To Keep believing, keep hoping, keep fighting...

He needed me to stay DETERMINED. 

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.”–Tommy Lasorda

We Got home late last night from 5 days in Cancun with the boys. 

So many adventures. We snorkeled seeing sting rays and a huge turtle, we road 4 wheelers, we went Zip lining in the jungle, we went diving in Cenotes and enjoyed the sandy beaches. 

I got up early to sneak a run in. I love running in new places. 

The little engine that could, against the odds, just a little thing, nothing that looks like strength or power, the underdog, the one that didn't look like he stood a chance, NEVER quit. 

Determination. 

You gotta fight and keep fighting. When you are alone, you fight. When no one seems to be in your corner you gotta keep fighting, when you are hurt and struggling keep fighting. You gotta fight the haters, the hurters, the voices and the demons. 

Stay Determined. 

Anita~