Sunday, November 21, 2021

Chasing.

"When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you." Lolly Daskal
I quickly jumped unto the track after riding 15 miles on the bike. I had a pool of sweat dripping off my chin, I wiped my chin with the bottom of my tank top and hit "START" on my Timex watch Danielle bought me years ago. 
I actually started both my Garmin and my Timex to see the difference the GPS made in comparison to "Old Faithful". I barely settled in when a young guy passed me, at my age most guys are young! He didn't look like he was going too fast. I know the drill though, we always pick up the pace when we are coming up on another runner, so I stayed behind him hoping he wouldn't hold the pace he held to pass me
I stayed about 4 yards behind him, far enough back he couldn't hear my breathing, a safe distance I could chase him in hopes he could pace me. 
1 mile down, I figured we were holding a sub 9 minute mile. I just kept chasing him hoping he wouldn't see me or drop a gear and loose me. As mile 4 approached, I was so happy I was still holding on but I knew he was going to be done soon. Sure enough he saw his friends come out to the track, he picked it up, threw his hands in the air and shouted something out to his buddies. As I came up to this random stranger, I yell "YOUR not DONE YET? I need you to pace me another 3 miles!" He looked up laughing and responded something about being "jealous" and just like that I was on my own again. To add injury to insult my ear buds died and I had to run with only the demons in my ears. I chased my demons, left to my own thoughts as I suffered those last miles. 

You are one thought away....
I was just one thought away from quitting. One thought away from altering my run. One thought away from settling for less. 
Such is life. I knew when I chased that young kid I could hold the pace. I knew I needed the inspiration, the motivation. 
I have chased things in this life that have hurt me. I have chased things in this life that have cost me a lot of injury and pain. 
We are all just one thought away. But our thoughts are hard to filter when we are in over our head, trying to hold a pace we know we can't. 

There are 2 KINDS OF PAIN in this WORLD: 
  1. The Pain that Hurts
  2. The Pain that Alters
And I have had both. You cannot correct what you cannot confront. Pain is a great teacher and a even better undertaker if you don't confront it. 
Pain will disable you, destroy you and disarm you if you never confront it. 
I have chased and let this world pace me into the hurt locker.  It is with even more great pain that I have had to do this whole "self inventory" thing asking myself "WHY". 
I have found myself on the sidelines injured many times, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Life has a great way of beating you up and if your chasing the wrong things it will chew you up and spit you out. 
Healing can be tough. All the answers, wrong. All the things I was chasing left me a mess, confused, without understanding trying to heal from myself. 

3 Steps to Healing:
  1. Look in the Mirror: Self Awareness. (Don't play the Blame Game)
  2. Embrace the Pain of Change. Pick a different route. 
  3. Go one More Time. Don't Give up, Go back out different. 
This is my stick I found in the mountains CHASING behind my "David" to the finish line. We had met in highest point of the Cumberland mountains. He paced me to the finish, never leaving me. 


The purpose of our pain should be greater than our past or its all in vain. 
We let pain end with a period. It hurts to hurt. I get people ask me all the time "Why do you run?" Pain is part of that passion. I find that pain is so relevant to life. This life with love you and hate you all at  the same time. It will chase you and pace you. Running has taught me through pain how to endure, how to persevere, how to pace myself through every mile. 

"Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."
Proverbs 4:25-27

RUNDOWN:
Weekly Miles: 51 miles
Monday: 16 miles Holdridge East loop 
Thursday: 16 miles Island Lake
Saturday: 12 miles Holdridge East w/cut out
Sunday: 7 miles Gym 

Anita~

No comments:

Post a Comment