Your almost there.

  "He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chad and Mallory ABC 12

There are things in life that make your heart skip a beat. 

Circumstances that make your palms sweat, your pulse quicken and your ears ring. 

There are things that give you anxiety. Things that scare you. 

Most of us try everything to avoid fear, anxiety and for good reason. 

I grew up in a petri dish of fear. The fear that makes you want to throw up. The kind of fear that makes you loose your mind. The kind of fear you cry yourself to sleep and cut yourself in agony. 

But 30 years later, there is just something about that fear, about overcoming it, about fighting against it that you crave. 

Its a love / hate thing. 

I have learned that some of my greatest heartaches can also become my greatest testimonies.

Overcoming Fear. ENCOURAGMENT

Saturday I threw out the idea of running a 6 hour training run. A run that I wouldn't worry about pace or distance, strictly "Time on Feet". 

I had some friends that were running the same course that day and even had Andy and Cristine come out to run as well. 

But they all came and went and I was there still running. 

I wanted to call it in at 5 hours. I was alone, hot and over it. 

Before Andy left he pulled up beside me on Buckhorn Lake road "Anita, you got this, 6 hours, you can get a 50k in, you can practically walk the last bit in...." 

Truth be told, I walked that last mile in. I wanted to quit so bad. 

That evening after running 31 miles, we had tickets to the Aerial Park in Frankenmuth. 

Somewhere a fun glow in the dark night of ziplining turned into a white knuckle black diamond course of extreme heights and obstacles. None of us were having fun. Team Harless decided to do the hardest course. We were all gripped with fear after only the first of several obstacles. As I approached the second obstacle I could barely grasp the rope above my head.  All the blood had left my arms I had clung for dear life. I had to hang from the rope above me and climb my legs in rope loops dangling from the rope above me. Because I am so short I cold barely get my feet into the loops and grip the rope. About 4 loops in I looked down into the darkness. I was so scared they were going to have to rescue me. I put both my arms around the rope above my head and hung there trying to calm down for the next 4 loops ahead of me. "Mom, You got this, your almost there...." Austin was encouraging me at the end of the platform. He was waiting for me. "Austin, It so hard, I don't know...." 

I tried to relax, still shaking I reached my arm out and tried to get my leg out of one loop into the next without getting tangled. 

"Good job mom, your almost there..." Austin coaxed me all the way to the finish. 

I finished the course, I smiled and for a brief second even thought...I would do that again.

Collision:

ABC 12 interviewed me last Thursday. Mallory and Chad met me at Holly Rec to ask my questions about overcoming cancer and running. ABC Interview link

I found myself getting choked up as I recollected how much pain and fear I had to overcome. 

This interview would go out to the masses. 

To those who have their own fear and pain. To a community struggling with their own challenges. 

I am not a lone island. Many, I pray will never have to deal with cancer but many deal with the similar fears that cancer gives birth to. 

Fear and anxiety that make your knees knock like mine did 30 feet in the air. 

Its Life on Lifes terms. Its raising kids, its sickness, its marriage, its bad relationships, it's not being able to pay your bills, its physical abuse, it's addiction, its new environments, mental illness, death, grief and the list goes on. 

"Good Job Mom, your almost there..." 

Its encouraging one another. Its walking a mile in someone else's shoes. Its being compassionate, being tolerant, being KIND. It's seeing the struggle in someone else and letting go of your struggles to help someone else. 

That is what Austin was doing. My big meat head son is stronger than a ox and he was struggling. He was sweating like a stuck pig but he looked beyond his agony, saw mine and encouraged me. 

And when you have no one cheering you on, you are going to have to cheer yourself on. Your going to have to inspire yourself. Cling to all those obstacles in life you have already overcome and use them to inspire you to not give up. 

RUNDOWN:

Monday: 23miles-Time on Feet 5hr : West, Grubers, North; 

Wednesday:10miles

Thursday:15.8miles  Wilderness and CRU

Saturday: 31.3 Time on Feet 6hr : Rose Oaks

Sunday: 7 miles

Total Miles: 83miles

PEAK Week for North Country, 3 weeks out. Again Sunday, I wanted to call it in and rest. But back to back runs are very important in my training. Running on tired legs has been a major element for my ultra training. Andy convinced me to go out with him on Sunday. Every mile Andy said "Your doing great, good job hunny." I couldn't really talk. Andy gave me walk breaks every mile and kept our pace at a 10min/mi. 

And again, you could have rang Andy out he was sweating so bad but rather than think of his own misery, he continued to encourage me. 

Life can be scary. My greatest encouragement comes from the Lord, My ultimate inspiration. 

 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. — Deuteronomy 31:6

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. –Psalm 23:4

ANITA~