Monday, September 30, 2019

A New Season. Own it.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” Ecc. 3:1
My chemo ended the same time summer ended. All summer I was hooked up to a poison that was going to save me. Now there is something to think about. 

Cancer was diagnosed to me in the SPRING. 
Cancer was fought in the SUMMER. 
Cancer is being finished up in the FALL. 
Cancer should be finalized with closure in the WINTER. 

"We are going to handle this just like another marathon..." 
Dr. Sullivan continued "..it is going to be the hardest marathon you have ever ran, about a 9 month marathon.…."  April 6th. DAY 1

That was 2 seasons ago, over 167 days ago. 

Today I met my PA again. Alec went with me. I am pretty open with my boys, I had Alec come back with me to get my blood taken and meet the PA and go over the results. 
My numbers dropped again. 
"Deb, people keep saying things about my running, I ran 20 miles yesterday, could that have made my numbers bad?"  I asked knowing the answer but afraid still. 
"Anita, its the chemo, if running was going to make your numbers bad we would have had you stop running a long time ago, there is nothing you could do differently...." Deb responded so kindly.

It all caught up with me. All that chemo. I am beat up, exhausted and trying so hard to recover my body. 
This is the season I am in. I welcome it. I am so excited to watch my body heal. I am learning "Patience" for like the millionth time! 

Last Thursday, I met Pam Johnson again. We confirmed my surgery, October 30th, bilateral mastectomy, say Good BYE to the double A's!  I am going BIG time, brand new A-cup boobies for me! My boobies may actually cast a shadow when we are done!
 My tumor is gone, my lymph node was a large as my tumor, over 4cm, it too has shrunk. I will loose at least 2 lymph glands along with my double A's. Small price to pay for life, NO pun intended!

Austins new INK. What's a mama suppose to say to this?! 
"I'm so proud of you mother!!! 20 weeks of hell and you never complained once, your so strong..." 
This was a reminder how much our children watch us.  Free Commercial. 



Encouragement is so powerful through WORDS. Chemo has so many side effects. Every week I was faced with a new challenge and often times there was nothing I could do different. 
I learned to fight. When my body failed I learned to FIGHT with my HEART. That's that makes you are WARRIOR. When your body fails you, and it WILL, you get back out there and fight with your heart. Specail thanks to Aunt Lois and Debbie Kerr. 

RUNDOWN: 
My hair is coming in, GRAY.  Andy is so excited, he wants me to keep it salt and pepper.
NO CHANCE.  I wish being bald made me more aerodynamic. But this is not the season of FAST running. 
I ran 20 miles yesterday. I fought so hard for EACH MILE. It rained, I was drenched, shivering and had my arse handed to me before I had 10 miles in. I told Alec to watch for my call to pick me up if  I couldn't finish. 
My hands were so cold I couldn't get my fingers to open my protein bar. The cars drove by us spraying us with puddles of water. 
I had a crazy reaction at mile 10, my feet started itching. They were itching so bad I literally took my shoes off and scraped my feet on the pavement. Andy couldn't stop laughing, I looked like a crazy lady. 
"Just RUN, run!" I screamed. I didn't know what else to do, complaining wasn't getting it done, whining wasn't helping, I knew I just had to dig in and finish. 
That is how I am closing. 
Just reminding you whatever season you are in, be your best. Keep your excuses, stop your whining, find your heart. Take claim to fighting with all you have. Dig DEEP, own your victories before you set out for them. See yourself at the FINISH LINE of your own race. 
The victory comes with pain, its part of the process. 
Own it. 

Anita~

2 comments:

  1. You are one of the bravest people I know. I’m so sad that you have to go thru this. My prayers are for you and your family everyday.

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    Replies
    1. Diane, thank you, Your prayers are so appreciated. I can not imagine how different this outcome would be without the prayers.

      XOXO

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