My Sidekick. Fear.

Glass City, 5 weeks. The next couple weeks are peak weeks. 

My longs runs are consistent. 

But my speed work is flat. 

Mentally, I am not feeling confident that I will qualify for Boston. Fear has become an annoying sidekick that I can't shake. 

I ran over 50 miles this week. My mileage is where is should be.

But FEAR keeps tapping me on the shoulder, "Hi, Hi, HI... remember me? Remember how you failed last year..yeah,, remember how hard you bonked? Remember how bad that overpass was? You know, the one you Walked! SUCKA!" 

Today, we had the ideal conditions for a perfect long run. 45', not a cloud in the sky, Lacey mapped out a new route, we had water, Gatorade and plenty of nutrition. 

The first 4 miles my legs were just winding up. Between my legs and my lungs burning from all the backroad hills I found myself questioning the next 16 miles.

Hill after hill. I pierced my eyes at the top, shut my mouth, took my infamous deep breath and dug in. We nailed those hills. Oh how I wanted to walk them. The trail runner in me loves walking those hills. 

Lacey and I laughed how trail running has made me love walking the hills. I'm getting soft in my age. 

4 miles of dirty hilly roads were a great warm up for the next 11 miles down Dixie Hwy. We ran from Rattalee Lake Rd and Dixie Hwy to Lahring Rd. We passed Mt Holly laughing at how far down Dixie Hwy we were running. 

As soon as my feet hit the pavement my legs began to smile. 

When we turned onto Lahring Rd I was beginning to feel the last 15 miles. We had picked up the pace and Lacey informed me that I had been pushing the pace, no wonder I was getting tired. I just wanted to go but I knew my flame was burning. 

BACK to my SIDE KICK. 

Its nice to have a good friend that gets you and understands you with out you having to describe yourself. 

As we were coming up to the overpass on Lahring Rd I was beginning to whine. "UGH, Oh my gosh, another freaking HILLLL." 

But again, we both dug in and crushed another hill at a sub 9min/mi. 

"ANITA, you are going to rock Glass City...." Lacey interrupted the voices of my side kick. It was like she knew Fear would not stop bickering at me. 

I was getting tired. I had no body aches, no twinges but I was pooping out. 

I was over the hills. My abdominal muscles were twinging from trying to run properly.  Lacey was encouraging me, but she knew I was starting to BONK.

The feeling of bonking sucks. Your legs are heavy, you are fatigued, your head is spinning with so much negativity that your entire body wants to shut down.  

BUT...you cant STOP. It usually only lasts about a mile or two. You have got to KEEP going. 

I asked Lacey to take the lead and pace us in. 

The last 3 miles we were back to running hills again. "Lacey, I'm WALKING!" I gave myself about 5 to 10 seconds and back up again. I picked up the pace on the down hills trying to balancing the pace a little better. 

I was AFRAID to see our pace. 

The last mile to Lacey is relatively flat. Lacey picked up the pace and I stayed close behind. I spoke to myself. 

"SUCK it up Anita." 

"Go, pick it up, breath and bring it in" 

"5 minutes, your done in 5, GOOO hard." 

The last half mile we had one more hill. I will be damned, Lacey RAN it hard. "I HATE YOU LACEY!" I screamed as I stayed close to her. 

"COME on NITA...." 

I LOVE this girl. Everything was burning, but I was running it to the top, I made that last turn to her house, a quarter mile down hill. 

"Run it to my mailbox, Run it to my Mailbox." 

As soon as I turned,  I was determined to finish it out strong. I embraced the sun, the temperatures, my friendship, the decline, the sweat dripping down my back, I embraced my burning lungs and my tired legs. And I just RAN. I ran and ran all the way to her mailbox. 

To tired to do anything but walk, Lacey shared our run. We nailed it. 

RUNDOWN:

Distance: 20 miles. 

Pace: 9:26

We stopped at the gas station for Gatorade. I forgot to turn my watch back on for a half a mile, Typical Anita!

Today was a reminder that you can work through suffering. But it sure is a lot easier with company. My lil SIDEKICK wasn't bashful. He reared his ugly head even with Lacey today. Fear SUCKS. Its causes me anxiety, but I am going to keep ON. That little Devil isn't letting go. Therefore I am gong to have to keep training with him tagging along. But I refuse to let him own me. 

Do it afraid...But do it. 

Anita