I walk up stairs this afternoon to see Andy resting on the bed with Alec. Andy was trying to survive on 4 hours of sleep and Alec just wanted to hang out with his daddy.
Andy looked up at me and very calmly says "Mmm I just want my wife back."
I didn't really know what to say but Alec had no problem responding " Oh your talking about how moms personality has changed?!"
Out of the mouth of babes.
I do feel changed. I am different. I will never be the same.
But I am trusting God to put me back together again.
I met "Danielle" my running partner at Indian Springs. I am so thankful for her friendship. We agreed to run 5 miles and I asked if we could walk a couple more.
As we were coming to mile 4 a woman with a bright yellow jogger stroller was approaching us. She shouted me name and startled me. I knew right away who this beautiful stranger was. "Hillary". Though I have never met her I met her husband this week. He brought us dinner from Holly Hotel. I expressed my thankfulness, we chatted a few minutes and we even invited her to run with us.
We finished our run and went into a fast stride walking it off. It felt good to walk and talk. It felt good to share my heart and not have to disguise it or protect it. "Danielle" loves me for me. I am not perfect, I am far far from it and I haven't ran her off yet! But lately I really have to protect my heart.
After leaving Indian Springs I stopped at Caribou Coffee and brought "Kim" a pumpkin latte. ("Kim" is Ariel mom, Andy's sister) It is the small stuff that can make a bad day a little better.
I quickly left there to go get Andy a little something for his birthday coming up on the 1st of November.
I was on a tight schedule. I had a 12:00 lunch date appointment with "Charlies" dad and a 4 pm coffee date with "Mo", Ariel's best friend.
My day was packed solid with wonderful people so what happened?
How did I forget "Jeremiah and Maria" were coming over at 7? They showed up as I sat in a completely black house. Alone. I could see it in their eyes "Anita...Are You OK?" I quickly started turning on lights afraid they may have me committed.
And again God heard me.
Ariel's Challenge: It is often the small things that make a big difference. I have had the most thoughtful things showered on me and I challenge you to do the same. "Things" are not necessarily material. often it is a smile, a hug or a loving comment.
People have sent me a kind text message.
Brought over gifts with my favorite tea and Ariel's Scripture on plaques.
I have been taken to lunch and people who have never spoke to me have taken the time and courage to approach me. All in 1 day.
I encourage you to be someones Smile. Be a Ear, Give a Prayer, Take on the Challenge. I would love to hear about it!
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| I made a apple Pie...Thats one big piece! Apple pie is a good band aid |
"Bear ye one anothers burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ" Gal 6:2
I've read every blog with my eyes full of tears. I can't bare to see my friend, my sister so heartbroken. Can't seem to find the courage to face her either.
ReplyDeleteYou've been there for all of us through our heartbreaks and tears my friend. You are so strong.
May you find that inner stength that pulls you through this difficult time.
Sincerely,
Sheila
Sheila,
DeleteYou have been my friend for many years. It is ok. I have never felt this way before. I have had my share of death and grieving and this is so foreign to me.
It feels like the first time.
It is the craziest thing to lose someone that needed you. To lose someone that believed in you. To lose someone that looked to you for all the mothering things. I loved having her to live through and talk with. I loved guiding her because she loved being guided.
I was by no way prepared for this. I have no idea what I am doing. And I do not know what to do.
Thank you for taking the time to share your words to me. Your honesty speaks volumes. That is all I ever ask for. I love you. I was grateful for your support and love at the funeral. I drew strength from seeing you and Holly. Thank you.
In Love,
Anita