Balancing act. Pulling myself out of the Pit

Last night was a mess. I was a mess. My fears, my hurts, my confusion and  my demons got the best of me. I lay alone battling my thoughts. My mind tormented me and my wheels were spinning. I couldn't shut my mind off. I cried out in confusion and sadness. I thought I would never fall asleep.

I felt hands around my body. I lay limp and weak like a rag doll. My body was drained, there was nothing left in me. My mind had fought battle after battle till it finally shut down in exhausting.
Andy was carrying me now up another flight of stairs. I felt so bad for Andy. He doesn't know how to "Fix" me. As he carried me I just sunk deeper into his arms.

Luke 2:52 - And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.

 Our bodies are made up of 4 components..Like legs on a chair.
Jesus grew in these 4 ways. This is how I have found I am at my healthiest is when I am balancing on these 4 legs. 

HE GREW INTELLECTUALLY - wisdom

HE GREW PHYSICALLY - stature

HE  GREW SPIRITUALLY - favor with God

HE GREW SOCIALLY - favor with man

Physically I have been way off my game. Running almost 50 miles a week your mind and body begin to rely on that. There is a certain amount of serotonin that your body releases and your mind relies on to function healthy. 

I knew I needed to run today. 

The wind was blowing leaves through the air leaving them dancing all around me.  It was beautiful. Dressed warm the cool October air left my cheeks chilled. I tucked my hands deep in my sleeves and let me legs lead me. My feet felt light as a feather and I instantly felt my body thanking me. My mind was slowly releasing the garbage it had been collecting the past few days. 

The weights were coming off. I heard myself talking to "Ariel". 

"Ariel I will fight. I will not let these demons own me." 

My thoughts were strong and concise. I am stronger than this. I am no good to anyone and I am my own biggest enemy when I let Satan hijack me. 

I thought of the things I would tell Ariel. 

"Ariel, You have to believe in yourself, You have to believe that God has plans for you and God knows what you are capable of." 

My legs started out steady and smooth. 

I thought of all the questions Ariel would ask me about working out and eating healthy. 

I gave her that above equation in the midst of a depression spell she was in back in the spring. 

And here I was thinking "Practice what you preach Aunt Nita."

And my legs began turning over faster. My cheeks started to warm up and my hands were peaking out of the sleeves of my shirt. 

"I am strong, I am powerful, I am not a quitter, I am a FIGHTER. I AM A FIGHTER!"

I am going to fight. I need you God. I need your strength, I need your promises, I need your deliverance from these hurts and discouragements and disappointments. I can do this..But only with you GOD. 

So here I am, crawling out of the pit. I have so many words that I have given Ariel that I have coming back at me. So many times I gave her Gods promises and his truths hoping she would seek him and trust him. Now here I am needing to do the same.

Pull your self out of the pit. Run your body and your mind through this grid:

Intellectually

Spiritually

Physically

Socially

Are you balanced? Where do you feel off balance? 

My eyes are still full of tears. Tears are good.  They flush out the heart and keep it from hardening. Today I put things in their proper compartments.  I got in the ring and fought. We are going to have to do this. Satan wants to steal our Joy, our Sanity, our Comfort, our Passions, our Confidence and so many other things he knows make us the best "us" we were meant to be. 

He gets us when we are wounded. He sees my heartache and is going to try to use it against me. But I am going to fight.

Rundown:
Distance: 7 miles
Pace: 8:25 

Anita