Putting my Tongue on Pause

"Never undertake anything for which you wouldn't have the courage to ask the blessing of heaven."

G. C. Lichtenberg

 

I just finished my long run for the week. I am tapering for my final try for the ING New York City. I was pretty crushed a few weeks ago when I did not qualify by 3 seconds. But some really neat circumstances have been birthed in place of my heartbreak.

1. I have met 2 new people from the Detroit Free press Facebook page who both blogged their experience. "NINA" and "Melissa". I really enjoyed reading both their posts and their blogs. 

2. "Melissa" was actually in my corral at the race in Detroit! I remember seeing her and thinking in her "Aquafina" professional technical shirt..."Thats cool, I wonder how fast you have to run to be sponsored?" She too was trying to qualify and we both missed our times!! AND the crazy thing is we are not only both trying again but we are both trying AGAIN THE SAME WEEKEND....next SATURDAY is her race and mine is SUNDAY!

And the third thing was a very recent "Ah HA" moment...
Yesterday I was thinking about a friend of mine running the ING next weekend, "Ken K".  "Ken" is the one who planted  the SEED OF ING into my head a few months back. (This is how he got into the ING by qualifying) "Ken" has the gifts of edification and encouragement. He has the power to to make anyone feel like that could work towards the impossible. He qualified and is running ING next weekend ...and while he is running my dream I will be trying to qualify for the very race at the same time and weekend!
This was not planned..I didn't even think about the ING being the same time as my Little Half Marathon in Carrollton, Michigan. BUT I think its pretty neat...I know someone who knew though...

A little piece of me...I never really played sports as a child. I would try out for sports and not follow through.. When I realized my mom was not going to be there for me or even make it to the school to pick me up I would quit. I would be so embarrassed being the last one at the school  or have my mom show up tanked if she even showed up. It was easier for me to not care then to care and get let down, hurt or disappointed. I didn't want to have anyone know that I had a house that was any different theirs. I was like a chameleon I could blend in any where. That was a reason I even tried out for sports, everyone else did . Only everyone elses mom showed up, they were reliable, committed and most of all sober, everything I wanted my mom to be.
I ran track my senior year. My mom never came to one meet. My then boyfriend, and now husband came to almost every one helping me get to and fro. I am not sure I really ever missed my mom not coming, probably because I was to scared she would show up drunk and embarrass me. I missed having a "mom" there, all the qualities that parents are supposed to represent just not my mom. I wanted a cheering section, a "thata girl", a celebration dinner. I wanted to look up and our and see that proud mom...just not my mom. I knew my mom wanted to be that mom...but the alcohol owned her. She was a slave to the bottle and the pills.
Now at 37..like a big kid I have that. Like a big kid I RUN after these dreams and goals most of us do in grade school. I am not running back in time trying to relive my childhood rather running towards the passions that God has given me.  I have a husband that might not always see my vision or hold my passion but his passion for me makes him  support and love me like I never had. God has supplied me not only with this blessing but also with loved ones that support and love me in my running. He had supplied me with a cheering squad, I know I can always see my family up in my stands, cheering and encouraging me from the bleachers.

THE RUNDOWN:

TIME:1:18

PACE:7:46

DISTANCE:10:06

COMMENTS: Running on Sundays is like running in my prayer box. It is a time to listen to a voice BIGGER than my own. It is a time to "put my tongue on hold."  This morning in church I heard God speaking to me through the pastor they had invited. He spoke on James 1:19 "..Be SWIFT to listen Slow to speak and SLOW to wrath." He then gave to illustrations of SWIFT...A CHEETAH and HUSSEIN BOLT. This settled in my heart first thing in the morning.
As I ran in my sanctuary this afternoon I could feel the emotion of gratitude immersing from my tear ducts. My legs felt SWIFT. Light. As though my body was trying to keep up with my legs. I enjoy my Sunday runs as a time to Be Swift not only on my legs but also with my heart and ears. This is a time I don't speak, I just breath. I inhale Gods glory, breathing in what he wants to feed me, and I exhale my hang ups and all the misconceptions that distort my VISION HE wants me to see. I try to release the voices in my head that drown out his Plans and his peace me.

Jeremiah 29: " For I know the plans for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

ANITA