Digging deep on the DREADMILL!

 I had a full schedule of events and starting my day off with a major temper tantrum and a preteen was not part of the plan! My morning episode of me loosing my marbles had full potential to sabotage the day. I knew in order to recover I was going to have to seek God to give me peace and comfort.

I dropped the boys off and came directly home. I grabbed my coffee and my bible and sat in my favorite place..The dogs mat in front of the fireplace.  I just hate seeing myself the way I did this morning. Out of control, angry, and beaten. I see the mom I want to be and I try so hard and yet this 12 year old just does something to me. This is the part where I think I may be being to honest..But then that is me. Take me how I am..Imperfect ..
I prayed and opened my bible to Exodus, I could slowly feel myself calming down. I read and studied and sat with my heavenly Father. Who knows my hurts and heartaches. I can be totally transparent to him and after purging feel refreshed and recovered.

"For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." 1 Tim. 1:8

 How quickly it became 9:15 in the morning. I still had to run, clean, and pick mom up to go to Trader Joes.
I got to the gym about 9:40. I decided to go to the gym to do my speed work.  I am more disciplined having a machine pull my legs than trusting my head to do the same work.
I honestly HATE running on the DREADMILL but it works pretty good for me when I am running fast. I sweat like a stuck pig and get embarrassed when people come into the gym  because I know weird noises are coming out of my.....................MOUTH...!! What were you thinking!! lol..

Todays RUNDOWN looked like this:

DREADMILL AT GYM. Roll the It band. Hit the Dreadill for TEMPO RUN. UGH...
MILE ONE: Pace: 8:00
5 MILES : Pace: 7:19
MILE 7 : Pace 8:00 Cool down
MILE 8: 3-6:40 PACE Intervals lasting 2 minutes a piece w/ one minute resting in between puking and dying!!

 I had my magazine in the front of the Dreadmill to keep from seeing the dashboard. I get discouraged staring at all those numbers blinking pain and discipline at me. It seems like the dashboard doesn't read my pace and time rather it reads like this.." Run ANITA...Is that the best you got." Or, "POOR little baby, NOW SHUT UP AND RUN." Or, as though all the numbers become letters that read "WAHHHHHH". So I choose to just COVER it all up and flip through my magazine. I can't read the words I get dizzy and confused but I like to look at the pictures. As I look through Octobers Runners World I can make out the "Numbers" from "Personal Best Page". And I can read the quotes as long as they are in LARGE FONT...Here is the one I really liked. " If Running is important to you, then your mind set shifts from Can I find the time for it? to When can I find the time for it? You think in terms not of Will I run today? but When Will I run today?
Well I looked at my numbers and discovered I had a grueling 2 miles still to go at my 7:19 pace. Just reading this I felt as though I puked in my mouth. I searched for some better music like it was going to give me a surge of energy or something and still heard my whining destroying any motivational thoughts. And then I remembered.....One more race...Just one more..do or ..I haven't thought that far yet....Dying isn't an option...feeling like it is...
Well I finished..even added another mile of repeats to it, along with more sweat, sore calves and even more grunting.

 THE FISH TACOS WERE A HIT!!! They were soo good. I used Tilapia for my fish.

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Fish-Tacos-352976?mbid=ipapp

If any of you try it let me know what you think..!
Anita