Really Good at Stupid

 

Keep Moving, let's not get Stuck on Stupid cause that's CRAPPY!

I texted a friend of mine last week, "We do stupid well." 

It's the truth. If you followed in my footsteps, GOOD CHANCE you would want your money back. Sometimes my program works, and sometimes it doesn't and MOST of the time it doesn't make sense no matter which way you cut it. 

I find myself humbled, icing my shin and thanking God that He carried me through a peak week of training. 

EVERY RUN is a gift at this point. Finding the balance of stupidity and foolishness is a bit confusing.

 Clinging to "good training" has many different perspectives and opinions. 

As a woman of faith, an athlete for Christ my perimeters will never make sense to most. 

Saturday night The National Anthem played as I got ready to race a 25K in Midland after running 20 miles of hills that morning. 

I closed my eyes and prayed. The song faded away to just the silent whispers to the Lord. 

I prayed for protection as I navigated in the dark, to stay upright and steady. 

I prayed for perseverance after running 20 miles and that the Lord would protect me from injury and from myself. 

I DIDN'T pray for speed, or to place or to have a killer race in the eyes of others. 

The whole thing was STUPID!

But I knew I had to see what I could do with Treasure Coast Marathon THIS Sunday. 

My shins have been getting better, however, I am NOT running pavement or doing speedwork. 

20 miles Saturday morning. Let's not get "Stumped" on stupidity!

 
(Hills are speedwork in disguise.)

Backroads, trails and hills are all I can do. 

The Goal, to qualify for NYC. which in turn would have me also qualify for Boston. 

SNOWMOON 25K: 

I planned to run a 9:30min/mi. 

And I claimed that to many...and I truly believed my own words. 

It didn't feel STUPID when I crossed the starting mat and found myself a few yards behind Andy. 

I heard my watch beep...I cautiously looked...8:34min/mi. 

I stayed hidden in his shadows. 

Andy was running with 4 of our friends so when one of them noticed me, the cat was out of the bag. 

I told him I would try to stay with them as long as I could. 

I didn't have the energy to chat, I was trying really hard to feel if I was crossing over into a different degree of STUPIDITY....EGO and PRIDE. 

STUPIDITY is often perspective, but EGO and PRIDE is the hidden ugly that is battled in your own darkness. 

I made a vow to myself "stay behind" to keep the EGO man down. 

By the GRACE of God, I was able to stay with Andy. We finished together. The finish line wasn't what I was dreaming. It came with a nasty fall from Andy that left his body looking like a 6ft pretzel. I had romantic thoughts of glorious smiles and hand holding maybe even a cute little kiss at the end.  

Not even close. 

Our friends, Amanda and Shane were so sweet waiting for us with big smiles and holding out vacant high fives. It was a finish of suffering and STUPIDITY. 

My heartrate for the race. I was very pleased. 

ANDY actually KILLED it! We both PR-ed  Snowmoon, with the best conditions I ever remember. 

It would cap off my day of 35 miles, with me hitting the 25K at the pace I would need to maintain at Treasure Coast Sunday. 

TRAINING & STUPID

"Stupidity is a gift from God but one must not misuse it." Pope John Paul II

I have made so many stupid decisions in my running career that if it was a course I would get a A+! But the truth is I have learned a lot from them, often because the lesson was so painful. Sometimes it doesn't APPEAR stupid but when once the fog lifts your knee deep in stupidity. 

"Stupidity is a talent for misconception." Edgar Allen Poe 

It seemed like a brilliant idea until it wasn't.  I am usually chewing on this in the middle of an ultra. When my suffering is screaming at me, and I am rethinking my choices. A talent for sure when I find myself back in the saddle again!

"Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity." 

EGO and PRIDE. These two are best friends that like to beat down humility. Ego will find a back door for anything stupid and make it shine. 

You become your own god. Unteachable and unreachable. You do things because you CAN not because it's actually beneficial. 

Last weekend, I planned on running a marathon to a 50K in the morning THEN the 25K that evening. But the more I thought about it the more I realized "WHY". Just because I COULD didn't mean I SHOULD. More is not always better regardless of what the commercial says. 

"It is a wise man who know where courage ends, and stupidity begins." 

AHH. This one is brilliant. Not much can be done under the spirit of fear, courage though can take you to places you can soar and places you can sink. 

Such a fine line. A line I am still learning. We all have a different breaking point, a different point of reference, a different point of pain and different tools to navigate through it all. 

And different isn't always wrong because it looks wrong to us. Courage is the same. It takes me more courage to line up to a 5K and race it then a 50K! 

RUNDOWN: 

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge but he who hates reproof is stupid." 

Proverbs 12:1

AM I teachable? I would like to think so. 

Feb 12-Feb 18= 

STEPDOWN week. SHINS

Miles: 44miles

Elevation: 2,166

The step down proved itself. I iced every day, some days 3 times, KT tape, Compression socks and prayer. 

Feb19-25

Don't get Stuck on Stupid

Miles: 74miles

Elevation: 4000ft. 

I stayed off pavement. trails and backroads. 

Saturday was a BIG run day. I went for a walk today, but very little running this week.  

SUNDAY is Treasure Coast Marathon. It is on pavement. I could really use some prayers! 

In Peace, Not Pieces,

Anita

A Thorn in my Side

"Stay steadfast in your hopes and dreams, but flexible in how you reach them." Collier Lawrence

 I have been embracing my love, TRAILS this past week. Truth is, I have been struggling with a minor injury for months, pavement pounding is my nemesis. A Thorn in My SIDE.

My training is a cluster due to races both on pavement and trails. I have come up into embracing the weather and hitting the trails rather than road running for my 100k in March. 

Kettle Moraine

100 miles in JUNE is the "A" race. All races in between are training runs that will help me build milage and confidence. 

Kettle Moraine is going to be tough with over 8000 ft of elevation on trails in Wisconsin. 

THE TRAINING thus far: My injury has me dropping my miles and only running 4 days a week. I have been doing extra drills for my shins, icing, KT tape and compression socks.  

I added myself to my prayer list and have been taking extra time in conversation with the Lord. 

The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh. 

Every mile is a gift from HIM. I ask him to direct my paths, and I trust Him with great affection knowing He knows the plans for me. 

I am running a marathon in Florida the beginning of March with the aim of trying to qualify for NYC Marathon, 3:51 is the time I would need..God willing. 

Andy asked me when I was going to do speed work. 

NOT going to happen!!

 I cringe at the idea of suffering around a track in agony as my shins are in anguish. 

SO..This week I bought some new shoes and did speed work on the trails. 

RUNDOWN:

"A THORN in my SIDE"

Last week, I ran multiple different trails taking advantage of the weather. The trails were in great shape however, I was shocked at the pickers that covered the trails at Holdridge. 

Also last week, we spent the first portion of our run ducking, dodging and doing trail clean up from a windy winter. 

Today, was no better when it came to those bristles and thistles. With the sun blazing we took advantage of the day when we hit the trails to run the East Loop at Holdridge. I was not sure how the run would look, it was my third day on, and we ran Holly Rec the day before with Andy pacing the sweat out of me. 

We were not talking a lot, keeping pace a little faster will do that to you. It is the most magnificent feeling running in the woods swerving where the path leads you, around trees, through the orchard, over the ridge bordering the lake, so glorious. 

BOOM!! The first of 4! I would FLIP, DIP and TRIP. I encountered the ground multiple times. My consistent pace kept getting interrupted by roots, rocks, branches, and dodging thorns. I would jump to my feet to try to regain my pace but my quest to keep pace fell apart each time I stumbled. 

My last tumble, I checked for my phone and I was relieved to have it, but I never bothered to check to see if I still had my sunglasses. 

I did not. I recalled a thorny branch had caught me when I tripped, it stole my sunglasses! 

We finished Grubers Grinder, then went back out for more trails on the West Loop. We ran making it up as we went. As long as I kept moving, I could keep adding more, our elevation would be close to 1,900ft. 

When we finished, I knew I had to go back to the East loop to find my glasses. Thankfully my running partner has a keen sense of direction. 

We went trail blazing off Hess rd. cutting through prehistoric thorns. The barbs were over a half inch long. They were snagging everything they could, digging in their spikes making it hard to go more than a few feet at a time. 

But my favorite GOODR glasses from Colorado were found! 

COLLISION: "Thorn in my Side"

We all have that THORN in our side. That place of annoyance, that problem that isn't getting resolved, that person that snags your thoughts. 

Today, I had to go RIGHT into those thorns. The only way to-- was THROUGH. A painful reminder that if you care enough about something sometimes it is going to hurt to have success. 

You will recover from the pain of trying better than you will recover from the pain of regret. 

RUNDOWN:

Feb5-Feb11

Distance: 60miles

Elevation: 5000 Ft

Valiant Warrior

 

I walk out of this little restroom with oversized scrubs and a larger-than-life gown that I look lost in. I was finally getting my MRI of my pancreas. Cancer follow-ups for my BRCHA gene are more rare but just as weighty.  MRIs are not my favorite and dealing with insurance was more of a battle I had before the procedure. Insurance companies do not want to pay for the preventive but will pay for the thousands and thousands of dollars for cancer. 

The techs were very nice as they escorted me to the trailer outside the building to do my MRI. I was very pleasant, a response to feeling nervous and anxious. I noticed the techs looking directly into my eyes, studying me. I confidently looked back at them, fearless. 

This was NOT a new experience, it was not an enjoyable experience either, but it was necessary.  

I laid back on the tray trying not to get tangled in my gown as he prepped my IV. 

I HAD A BAD FEELING. 

I clenched my fist as he directed me and felt the needle pinch into my skin and then I felt a warm sensation and a little pull. 

I knew he over did it. 

I took a deep breath and smiled. His partner looked at me and I winked. He knew I knew. 

After a couple minutes the tech tells me he is going to try again. 

He is looking up and down my arms and I am just laying there smiling trying not to make him more nervous than I can tell he is. 

He picks a vein on the side of my arm that no one has ever tried. I just waited for that to fail, and I didn't have to wait long. 

I smiled and tried to relax him, "Third times a charm." And then I prayed. 

I thought if he pokes me much more, I am going to spring a leak!

He poked me again and it was bad, I gritted my teeth as I felt my arm bruising, he worked it a bit more and I prayed "PLEASE LORD!" 

Then I tasted the metal. IT worked, finally! 

It took everything in me to not ask to reschedule. I wanted to QUIT. 

It hurt and my confidence in him was depleting. 

Each poke I was not bouncing back with RESILENCE. 

And my attitude was getting sour. 

"The Lord is with you Oh valiant soldier." Judges 6:12 

Learning to have RESILIENCE in the face of adversity can be very challenging. I am walking around with 8 toenails and one that is about to fall off any day from tripping 6 times in a race I did in the beginning of January. 

But Resilience is not a nomad and doesn't travel alone. 

She travels best with PERSISTENCE, which is the ability to intentionally pursue a purpose regardless of opposition, delays and disadvantages. 

They go HAND in HAND. 

I have had to learn to not only recover from a setback but also find the endurance to continue and NOT GIVE UP.  

You can NOT persist without getting back up and sometimes getting back up we are a total HOT MESS. 

I have felt beaten up, tattered and frayed like an old rag doll but not in my strength but HIS I have crawled back out of the grave. 

When I operate in an identity shaped by the LORD, I am capable of great and mighty things. I no longer see a raggamuffin but a valiant soldier. 

I can get up in my fragility and failure. 

"How frail is humanity, how short is life, how full of trouble..." Job 14:1

Job had it right! 

Trouble is inevitable. 

Adversity is inevitable. 

However, it produces strength, physical strength, emotional strength, and spiritual strength. 

Our challenges do NOT define us. Whether we are victorious and successful or we fall short. 

The Lord positions us victorious when we seek HIM, trust HIM and give HIM the Glory. 

When the tech poked me for the third time, I knew that if I gave space for my crisis, it would not make the situation any better. Yes, it HURT, I was uncomfortable, nervous and lacking a lot of trust. 

RESILIENCE has been my word all week. 

I knew it came down to my REACTION to the unfortunate circumstance. 

It is how we respond to challenges that helps create resilience. 

OH Valiant Warrior, GET back UP and get back at it!! 

Do it ugly, tattered, beaten and broken but don't QUIT!! 

And Keep Smiling!! 

5 of us girls went rock climbing, some of the walls were 40ft high. We were all scared and sweating from anxiety. The goal was to make it to the top. we were there cheering each other on with encouragement till we all conquered it or did our best! 

RUNDOWN: 

Girls weekend of adventuring! Stoney Creek.
We conquered our fears rock climbing.
and ran in a new place.  
Valiant Warriors. 
 

WEEK of Jan 22-28th

MILES: 62.39 miles OOPS, overshot my miles again. 

ELEVATION: 2,350

This week I have brought my miles WAY back. 

I hit 3 parks in 10 days, 

1. Kensington
2. Indian Springs 2x
3. Stoney Creek

"THEY ARE JUDGING BECAUSE YOU KEEP STARTING OVER, I'M CLAPPING BECAUSE YOU NEVER GAVE UP."

In Peace, NOT Pieces, 

Anita