Flexibility over Fear

 

"Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from conquering the things you once thought you couldn't." Trisha Drobeck, Elite Marathoner

When I was younger, much younger I could flip, dip and twist my body in all positions. I was like a human pipe cleaner, very flexible. 

Now, I am older, much older and my body doesn't contort or bend in those ways anymore without significant injury, pain or grief. 

This year is the first year I am a mother-in-love. I am experiencing a lot of change. I am trying to figure out how to be a mom to a new daughter, trying to be a different mom to my now married son and how to do life a little different. 

I was given the advice by several clients before the wedding to "Smile and wear beige".  I didn't know what this meant. It means be kind, and blend in. Don't make a fuss. I was for sure going to mess this up, I am great at smiling but terrible at being meek.  

So now the holidays are upon us and I am learning how to be flexible all over again, only my body is not contorted into a pretzel. 

And the truth is I am doing it with grace and excitement. 

It's like the running a trail race, you cannot pinpoint your exact time and pace because you don't know the conditions of the trail. But if you are flexible, trained and somewhat prepared you will have a successful outcome. Of course, a good attitude and removing expectations help too. 

So when my son called to tell us he wouldn't be having Thanksgiving with us I PAUSED. 

The pause was the best thing I have done in a long time. And in that short time my mind was racing! I was praying, I was seeking Godly counsel and wanting to pass this test as honoring to the Lord as I could. When I gently responded (not reacted) we had great conversation that shared grace, love and flexibility. My son was very thoughtful of my emotions allowing grace to win. 

Next year I want to be even more flexible.  I am already looking at 2023 with new goals, new ideas and excited to see where the Lord leads me. 

"Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from conquering the things you once thought you couldn't." Trisha Drobeck, Elite Marathoner

RUNDOWN: Changing it up. 

So, this year I did a Turkey trot with my new daughter on Thanksgiving. A trail trot at Stoney Creek by Move-it-Fitness. Another great race by an incredible race director. 

It was Shelbys first race!! Andy Austin made it to see her finish! It was the sweetest thing. 

And if that wasn't enough change, I registered for a race on Black Friday, which was a first for me too! 

For over 20 years I have Black Friday shopped, but this year I drove by myself to run a race by myself. 

FEAR of FAILURE: Black Toenail 1/2 Marathon. 

Before I left for the race Andy yells "Sub 2 hour". I knew that was a 9min/mi. 

My nerves shook, "NO WAY "was the first thing out of my mouth! 

I started thinking of every excuse for why that was no possible. 

THE LIES I narrated. 

"I haven't trained that kind of speed on the trails."

"I still have a nagging injury."

"I can't."

"I can't."

But the truth is I was afraid. Afraid of failure. Afraid of the pain. Afraid of disappointment. 

I took off in the back of the pack excited to play in the woods. Not a cloud in the sky, we all fought for our spot on the trail.

I tucked in trying to keep pace but boldly started making my move, "On your left" I shouted as I began passing runners. 

I shadowed a gal who was running strong for about 3 miles then she broke ahead of me cutting in and out of other runners. 

I found another guy and stayed on his heals trying to keep pace with him. He was running great as we made the first loop, we headed back out for our second loop. I wanted to pick up my pace for the second half and it felt like he did too until he tripped and fell. I made sure he was good and let him get back in front of me. With the temps warming up, his pace picking up and his tumble, he abruptly jumped off the trail. I asked if he was "OK" and he replied, "my quads cramping". 

There was nothing I could do so I quickly took off. 

I was thanking God for my last 9 miles and counting my miles down. I was running a negative split but I never looked at my time. I knew my first 7 miles I was averaging 9:15min/miles but I still didn't believe I could run a sub 2 hour. 

I believed it so much I never even prayed to achieve it. BUT I did pray for the Lord to give me strength and protection. To make me swift. 

By mile 10, I was passing more runners and I see the gal I tried to stay with at the beginning. I came up on her and laughed, "Girl, it has taken me 7 miles to catch back up to you, STAY in FRONT of me!"

She was startled that I didn't just pass her but she stayed behind me. 

We made a turn and headed uphill. I repeated myself, "GET in FRONT of me, YOU got this." I moved over and she came up, taking the lead. "YOU got this, ON your TOES, GO GO!" I cheered her on. She yelled "Thank you coach" and I watched that hair swing back and forth putting distance between us. 

And I smiled. I was out of breath, but I was so happy. 

I had 2 miles and was trying to hold a sub 8:45min/mi. I literally felt like there was no blood left in my legs or air left in my lungs. 

I crossed the finish line with nothing left in the tank. When I stopped my watch, I was shocked, 1:59:29! Now that wasn't official, but I knew it was close. 

My official actually had me at 1:58:40.55 

Andy the real shocker was I took first place in my age group! Glory to God. 

Fear, funny this thing called fear. When you get intimate with your fears you can really learn a lot about yourself. The truth is it is better to FAIL trying then to never try and never learn. The greatest lesson is always in the victory of OVERCOMING fear not necessarily in the fear of the obstacle or circumstance. 

Just own it then overcome it with honesty and understanding. There is no shame in having fears. We all have them; the real truth lies in the "WHY". And that journey to discover is where all the power is. 

Turned out I saw some friends I knew at both races! My sweet Tina and her chivalrous husband Sean were in their infamous matching attire, always looking picture perfect! 

I have registered for 2 races for next year...Change is coming! Let the adventure begin! Till next time, 

 In Peace, Not Pieces,

Anita