Show up with a Smile

"It doesn't matter who hurt you, or broke you down, what matters is who made you smile again."

Being in extrovert is easy for me but hard for others to be around me. 

"She's a lot"

"Oh! Not her again..." 

"What Anita doesn't have in height she makes up for in volume."  

I love life and I love people. Some of life is hard and some people are challenging but LOVE covers all. 

When I was 11 my dad died. Damn addiction left me fatherless. I didn't have a lot my father left me, truth is I didn't have anything but a duplicate freckle on my lip and a little 2-inch teddy bear my father bought me at a gas station right before he died. I took that little bear to high school and put it in my locker to look at every time I opened my locker. It reminded that my father was looking after me. It made me SMILE to see that little bear. 

One day it was gone. I lost it at school. I was a shattered mess. I had nothing, no photos, no gifts, no memorabilia, and I was sobbing through the halls. 

I very vividly remember one of my friends saying, "Anita, I never saw you like this, you are always smiling...." 

Those words have stuck with me for years. 

Thats what I do. I show up smiling. 

Saturday, I showed up smiling.  When I got through cancer, I made a commitment to GIVE BACK. I showed up in Waterford at Dixie Hwy near Hatchery to run to Detroit medical center for McKennas Squad. To raise money for kids with cancer. 

I remember when they told me at 45, I had cancer. I was so confused on how I could get cancer so young. Going through treatment was hard, showing up with a smile was hard but the thought of children going through cancer is unfathomable. 

So young, unexperienced, innocent and blameless. 

I showed up with a smile. We ran all the way to Detroit down Dixie Hwy to Woodward. From Waterford through West Bloomfield Royal Oak, Ferndale, Highland Park to Detroit.  

I smiled. I smiled for a cause bigger than my own. 

I smiled when we were flipped off running down the road because we had no sidewalks, I smiled when we saw our crew bring us food and water, I smiled when I crossed 6 lanes of traffic for Avon Donuts, I smiled when we ran through the sketchy part of the city, I smiled. 

31 miles and over 7 hours. 

SHOW up with a smile. 

Joan and I!! 

It really is that simple. Its vulnerable but is a compassion that opens your heart to others. 

A smile is free therapy for both you and others. 

A smile doesn't mean you're happy and have it all together, for me it means I am trying. 

Life gives us so many reasons to cry, scream and fall apart but a smile shows life sometimes we are falling into place. 

"I have many problems in life. But my lips don't know that. They always smile." Charlie Chaplin

Today, I woke up so sore, so tired and not feeling really well. I had committed to run again. 

I had run the 50K Saturday and Sunday I ran with Joan Clarkston Backroads half marathon. This is our race in honor of Ariel, my precious niece who passed away 10 years ago. It is very special to us and this year we were excited to run it after 3 years of cancer, covid and kiddos. I showed up smiling but by mile 10 my body was SCREAMING! 

This morning with my body angry at me I showed up again smiling for another 10 miles. I laughed at the idea of this being a "TAPER". Over 50 miles in 3 days, keep smiling Anita, you weirdo!

I figure if I smile enough maybe I will convince myself I am not sore, not tired, not getting sick and maybe not a weirdo. 

"A Smile is a curve that sets everything straight." Phyliss Diller

A smile doesn't negate that hurt that rests in our heart. A smile doesn't mean life is full of butterflies and rainbows. 

Life has been dark, very dark. I have had days I have begged God to take me from the pain that thunders my soul. 

I have thrown the covers over my head in defeat and lost my temper like the antichrist. 

I cried for over a year, every day and remember very distinctly when I first smiled, I actually felt guilty for doing so. 

But that smile brought me back to life. That smile gave me hope again. That smile softened my heart once again. 

In Peace, Not Peices,

Anita~

Big shout out to Complete Runner for supporting McKennas Squad. Coach Brad, BIG SHOUT out to you for organizing this event. He started at 5AM on a BIKE from Flint to Waterford for a 50K bike then RUN!! 

Congrats to all those who ran Clarkston Backroads, especially those who showed up in full costume! 

Congrats to Tonya for running MCM. 

It's Not a Clarkston Backroads unless I see Dale!! 

Happy Early Birthday to this HUNKA HUNKA burning LOVE!! Happy Birthday Andy!!