Out of the INBETWEEN

With my schedule so different these days, I am working harder to find the time to run. 

The "run" has become more precious as my time has become more limited. 

I get up consistently earlier than ever and find myself still working well into the night and I LOVE it. 

I don't have to, I GET TO. 

Don't get me wrong, I am TIRED but I am in a season.  I am not floating somewhere in-between some place. 

Everday is a GIFT and I find myself thankful to be exhausted.

I am grateful to endure long days and excited to enjoy the feeling of fatigue. 

I don't want to live life only to exist, stuck somewhere IN BETWEEN life and death,

IN BETWEEN happiness and sadness, IN BETWEEN absence and presence. 

It is frightening to be captured IN BETWEEN arrivals and departures, or depressing living life IN BETWEEN being asleep and awake. 

Chasing one experience after another, pursuing another day and wishing the present away only to forget the here and now. 

Not every day is butterflies and rainbows. I can say that with certainty. But living in the present, making the most and doing my best is not living to just EXIST, not just SURVIVING but THRIVING. 

Last Monday I headed out to Holdridge for a solo run. 

I disconnected all the noise, I shut off my music and the voices to just "feel" and embrace the quietness of the woods.

I wanted to enjoy all 16 miles.

I didn't want to "Get through it" rather I wanted to experience every mile, every wind that blew throughout the forest, I wanted to listen to each bird chirping and see every squirrel crossing as if it were the first. 

My training is picking up, my long runs are getting longer, and the intensity of my running is becoming more intentional. 

I broke the trail up into thirds, trying to quicken each segment, finishing my last segment faster than my first. 

My first segment is the hardest at Holdridge. The elevation is exhausting right out of the gate, my easy pace doesn't feel that easy at all. 

When the second section comes my heart rate is so confused and exhausted.

 As I moved through the trail, I noticed the foliage starting to grow. The trail was beat up from a hard winter of snow, ice, thaw and flooding. Many areas were washed out bearing thick roots and sharp rocks ready to disable you. 

When my watch hit 10 miles I was smiling, I was still UPRIGHT! 

My body didn't feel too abused as I coached myself to pick up my pace. I looked at my watch, swallowed my favorite coffee Gu, sipped some water out of my pack and chuckled as I came down the trail running along a ridge. "Let's Go" I whispered to myself knowing this was going to be harder than the first two loops. My legs were feeling the abuse from the eroded trail and the reminder I had to pick it up and stay strong was echoing to me. 

I recited my future races, the "WHY" in my run and I dug my heels back in preparing myself for the finishing challenge. 

I knew I had some prayers circulating around me as I recounted all the miles I had not tripped, flipped or fallen. 

I was coming down one of the last ridges trying to dodge a tangling picker bush only to quickly duck from a floating branch level with my eyes when I missed the root protruding angrily across the trail. That little booger concealed itself in the dirt and while my legs were moving and my eyes were darting from one side to the other, I was not fast enough to see this toe grabber and DOWN I WENT. I had my GU wrapper and my speaker in my hand, and they went in opposite directions into the weeds. My left palm skidded through the rough dirt and my shin felt the sting of open skin and dirt. 

And I laughed. And laughed some more. 

I gathered my pride, my posture and picked up my pace! 

I finished 16 miles of trails on Monday with gratitude and glory. Not because I "HAD TO" but because I "GOT TO". 

I ran it 2 days after running a marathon. I wasn't attached to a specific outcome, I was attached to the experience, the passion, the Gift with flexibility and gratitude.  

I wasn't caught in the IN BETWEEN, I wanted to enjoy every moment in whatever capacity I was capable of. 

Some of us are only living to exist. From day to day, from experience to experience, from one epic moment to another and are missing all the IN BETWEEN. 

Some of us are missing the good and the bad, yes, even the bad is meant to be experienced, to teach us and to grow us. 

ASHVILLE MARATHON 26.2

CAREBEARS TAKE ASHVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA. 

My CRU! Antonio, Nathan, Sarah, Doug and I made this little girls Day! Check out her tee shirt!!

We snuck out to Ashville this past weekend to run a marathon. My friends and I all showed up in Carebear onesies. 

Our CRU was so much a hit that Ashville Marathon invited the Carebears back on THEM!!
Our best 5-hour marathon EVER!!!!!! 

The Carebears were a HIT! We felt like the paparazzi was chasing us with cameras. The race director even invited us to come back to Ashville next year on them! 

We never took the costumes off even when the temperatures reached almost 70 degrees. At mile 13, alongside a busy road, I literally tripped over a stick on a flat sidewalk, CAREBEAR DOWN! 

The temp heated up and the sweat and cramping came out, but we NEVER quit smiling and cheering on both runners and spectators. 

Poor Bedtime Bear was feeling sleepy after the marathon!

Life is not summed up in what it is "Supposed to be". There is no perfect equation, but rather our response to every individual moment. Rather than waiting for the perfect, enjoy and make the most of the present. 

Anita~