"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
It was so bitter cold today. Snow dusted the front yard and the wind whistled. I was feeling a bit moody. Not in the mood to get up, crawl out of bed and surely not in the mood to run. That's the problem with solo runs, you have no one but yourself to motivate you.
A 7:30 start didn't happen as I had planned. It was more like 8:30 when my feet hit the trails. I decided right out of the gate I was going to run by effort level and not look at my watch. I was too moody to be annoyed with technology.
I still have all these little plans in my head.
- No music until 5 miles
- Try to run smooth enough to run most of the hills.
- Look at my watch on the second half of the run then be more intentional
- Eat, Drink, Breathe and don't FALL
Around mile 2, I heard a rustle on my left. Then I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. Running the trails solo can mess with your head a bit. Being a girl out there I get a little nervous but try not to let fear detour me from enjoying what I love.
2 deer jumped up as startled as I. But they didn't dart off. They just stared at me. Quickly stopping, I felt the urge to tinkle. As I squatted down in the trail I never took my eyes off the deer and nor did they loose their view of me. The one deer actually tiled her head trying to find me and began to walk in my direction. I was cracking up at her curiosity as she moved closer. Needless to say, when I arose to pull up my britches she stopped but never scampered off, but I did as much as I wanted to enjoy the deer I had to hit it and get it.
It was a good run. I was able to pick up the second half of my run and I only tripped once, never actually completely falling!
Thursdays have become my double run days. But today became double solo run Thursday. I stayed home today and let Andy hang out with his boys from Complete Runner.
I guess I was still moody.
I didn't feel like running again.
I didn't feel like running fast.
I didn't feel like being cold.
I didn't really know what I wanted, so I just stayed home.
IT WAS AWFUL. The first mile is up hill. then hill after dreaded hill. I was sucking wind and whining.
IT HURT. It was speedwork day. In the beginning of this run I was just going to call it and go easy. But then I reminded myself I should be running with CRU making this run a hard effort. I had to quit whining and get after it.
I had the ugly face. I commanded myself to breathe. The cars must have seen my misery as each one moved over to let me pass. Did I mention it HURT. I looked down at my watch and coached myself to not quit.
Isn't that part of the Victory. Work hard, don't let being moody dictate your plan. There is pain in the game. Whether it is physical, emotional, even financial.
I wanted to quit before I started.
I woke up moody. My heart was heavy. I was letting things rent space in my head. I was feeling down on myself. I was feeling insecure of myself. I was struggling.
We all have these days.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
So I prayed. Each run. I reminded myself God is my Identity. It matters more to seek Him than the affection of others. I wanted to crawl in His arms. My father God. I wanted Him to hold me. And He did.
We have to Keep Going. Life is hard. It is full of disappointments. Sulking, whining, or wimping out is not going to produce anything positive.
These solo runs are very good for me. They allow me to sift through all the B.S. life brings. They allow me to take time to look for a positive perspective.
Wherever I go the Lord Is with me. In my discouragement, my moodiness, He is still with me.
Trail Tip, Ultra running:
Quantity has the advantage of quality. It is about time on your feet. Easy runs are essential for training for an ultra. These longs should be approximately 60-70% exertion level.
Anita
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” —William James
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