Sunday, May 17, 2020

Imperfect Progression: Communication

Some of us are beginning to creep out of the house.
While I have not been to any stores or done any shopping I have ventured out to run.
My regular crew of running partners have not met together in weeks.
I have ran in secret with some of my running friends, being responsible but keeping it on the down low afraid of the scrutiny of others.
Friday night a late invite to run at Rose Oaks was presented. It was going to be beautiful out, I was so excited that I didn't have to run alone.

Imperfect Progression. 
This is why I love my running partners. We don't just run, we share, encourage and pray for one another.
This Quarantine Life has been difficult for everyone, me included.
I am not that person that wants my friends to pump sunshine up my butt. Don't sugar coat things, tell me honestly. Don't feel sorry for me for everything that I have been through. If I am out of line, call me out in Love. 
As we ran, I communicated some of my imperfections. Trust me, we didn't have enough miles or time to run and go through all of them! But I LOVED these two words recited to me.
IMPERFECT PROGRESSION.
I let these words saturate my thoughts as I lost focus for a few seconds on the beauty in this vocabulary.

This Quarantine Life brings me to Communication. 
Learning to choose my words wisely has always been a struggle for me because I am so reactionary and easily excited.

Luke 6:45 "The good man brings out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart the mouth speak," 

Communication: the words we speak reflect: Who we are, what we think, judge, feel, value, honor, love, hate, believe in, commit to, ect...
Example: If we think we are inappropriate in life our communication will reflect feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

“Who you are is speaking so loudly that I can’t hear what you’re saying” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have to put myself in a conscious "Time Out" when I am struggling because I am so afraid that I will respond with emotion.

I have to give grace to both myself and others.
1. What you say is often NOT what other people hear.
2. And what you hear is not what other people are saying!
   **Don't leave understanding to chance.
   **Repeat your point different ways (not to annoyance)
3. Ask the listener what they heard.
4. Don't take people around the block..Be clear and precise.
5. If you don't know what you mean-BE QUIET and think about it, bridle your tongue.

I am 46 years old and I am still practicing these and failing at them.
That's the Imperfect Progression.

I miss the interaction with people. Now we have all this blank space that is left to interpretation.
We have more time than ever and yet we are still struggling communicating.
Fear, insecurity, anxiety, worry are just a few of what many of us are wresting with.

RUNDOWN: 
Distance: 12 miles
Where: Pontiac Lake and Foley rd

I jumped in for a last minute run out at Pontiac Lake. I was concerned on how my body would do after running 15 miles yesterday.
I was clinging on for dear life trying not to fall back to far. My knee surprised me and was very kind to me. I would drop back but catch up on the hills. I didn't have much for chit chat, I just wanted so bad to be able to hang.
By mile 8, I knew I had it. The pace picked up a bit but I was still in the game.
It was my fastest Pontiac Lake Loop ever! I was so stoked, I beat my time by 10 minutes.
Play time wasn't over. I still had this vertical mile challenge I am doing for a virtual race I am doing, Head Goat.
Andy drove me out to Fenton, Foley Rd to complete this challenge. Rachel gave me the location to run it, she had already did it that morning.
My feet hit the dirt road from the truck and it felt like I had 10lb lead weights on both of them. I planned to walk until I saw Andy running it. "OHHH  My GOSH, THIS SUCKS!" I cried 30 feet behind Andy. Rain started to spit at us and a God forsaken head wind was a cruel punishment to add to my misery. I pulled my hat down and dug my heals in, barely jogging but moving a step faster than walking.
I thought the top of the incline was never going to come so when I finally reached it, out of breath, I threw my hands up like Rocky Balboa!

COLLISION: As I slowly climbed that mile everything hurt. The elements around me made me want to quit. Imperfect Progression. It didn't matter how I got to the top, I just had to get to the top.
It wasnt pretty, I was a big baby whining all the way up but determined.
This is exactly where I feel in life.
This Quarantined Life has been a struggle. Learning to communicate in a season we are all separated from most everyone but ourselves. And for me, being with myself too long is bad company.
I have to give myself a little grace and learn how to not just communicate with others, but also with myself. Moving forward hasn't been easy, the progression has had its struggles, but we have to keep moving forward.

 “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives” ~ Anthony Robbins


Anita~

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