One Wild and Precious Life

"Here lies another day, during which I have had eyes, ears, hands, and the great world round me; and with tomorrow begins another. Why am I allowed two?" 

G.K. Chesterton 

Everyday I celebrate life. This month marks the 1 year anniversary of being diagnosed with TNBC.
No matter the smile, the good attitude or the positivity I tried to share, death felt like just a breath away many times.

"I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10

I do not take my days for granted.
Life is not lived through the media, through our jobs, through what the headlines present or what others say, life is lived through moments.

Life is celebrated through gratitude. Life is embraced through passion.

During this quarantine many have lost their lust for life. I believe that we should take serious what is serious but that does not mean we can't laugh, smile and live abundantly.

I refuse to let this pandemic hold my emotions.

I am still setting goals and finding joy EVERYDAY.

Today, I did something EPIC. I went back to conquer Holdridge.
HOLDRIDGE, AKA Grubers Grinder, East loop.
Distance 16 miles. (Marked as 15.5 however, it is a half mile to the start of the trail.)
Very technical.

Last week, I went out to run this and got terribly lost turning this 16 miler into over 18.
I was really bummed. I had wanted to see what my baseline for this trail would be. In group runs we always ran it in 3h 5min.

I had everything laid out waiting for me in the morning. I knew it was going to be raining so I needed everything prepared so I wouldn't back out.

I was dragging when my alarm went off at 7am. I drank my coffee, had some oatmeal and headed out the door at 8:35.
I wasn't feeling it.

THE PLAN:
RUN. Keep the run transparent. No stopping my watch to pee, to poo, or to take a picture. I needed to know what my body could do without stopping. Stopping my watch would be like cheating for me.
I needed to run fatigued, out of breath or whatever element came my way.
I wanted to try and average 12-12:30 minute trail miles. Due to all the switchbacks that does not dictate your actual pace. But I thought I could maintain that pace.
With the soggy trail, I was excited to try out my new Brooks Cascadia trail shoes.

Off and Running: I didn't make it 2/10th of a mile and had to stop my watch. I wanted to get a picture of my new shoes to do a before and after.
I kept waiting for this run to feel comfortable, it never did.
I let my watch coach me every mile. I kept trying to maintain 12min/miles. I used my watch for mileage NOT the trail markers.
When I approached the split in the trail where I got lost last week, I stopped my watch, read the sign out loud and took off in the right direction after less than 10 second.
I didn't even have the energy to pat myself on the back for not getting lost.
Being on the trail alone is a little unsettling. Especially when I am counting about a dozen beer cans out there. I almost got ran over by 3 deer. I had startled them bedded down. They were so close I could have almost touched them. The wildlife is more than the beer drinkers. I saw a beautiful hawk swoop down by me. Near the swamp, I jumped over a  snake who looked petrified on the path and a huge turtle camped out in the grass.
But my body was really struggling. Through the orchard it was a thick muddy mess. I had to walk and try to find the best line I could through the muck.....BUT I didn't stop my watch. It was my slowest mile 12:56.

I FINISHED! It was very hard. When I came out of the trail I was a little emotional.
"Why am I allowed two...?
The damp chill rested on my bare arms with rain beginning to drizzle.
Today, I got to feel the rain, the chill in the air, the soreness of my muscles, the heaviness of my lungs, Today, I was not just able to run 16 miles but I was able to run in in one of my fastest times, 2h:40min.

"We're starved for a life that not only senses the sacred in the world around us but savors it. We're famished for experiences that are real, relationships that are deep, work that is meaningful. I think what we're longing for is "the good life" as it has been advertised to us in the American dream but life in its fullness, its abundance. The reflective life is a life that is attentive, receptive, and responsive to what God is doing in us and around us." Mary Oliver

And in conclusion she asks "What is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" 

In Conclusion....Andy signed me up for a virtual 50k THIS WEEKEND. I must be out of my mind.
Yeti Ultra run 50K. 
*Run 5 miles every 4 hours for 24 miles.
I am not sure how my body will handle this. It sounds like fun though!