Sunday, March 22, 2020

It is not Empty Time

"Trust the process. Your time is coming. Just do the work and the results will handle themselves." Tony Gaskins

This post is dedicated to Melissa. I think she is my only consistent reader of my nonsensical ramblings. She asked me to post today. Someone must be really bored to want to read my meandering verbiage.

We are now one week into  quarantine.
 Five of those days were without sunlight. If being stuck in the house wasn't enough, not seeing the light of day was enough to make us all go coo coo for Cocoa Puffs.
This is a extrovert's greatest nightmare.

Last week, I was asked "Anita, how are you?" They followed it up with their concern for me being immune compromised.
I responded with a little chuckle, "This really isn't a big deal to me, this is what I lived all last summer, quarantined, shut in when I had no immune system, out of work and afraid of people and their germs!"
Welcome to life of a cancer patient.

I am practicing social distancing. My skin is raw from washing my hands so much. We really are not hurting for anything.
We are not hoarders, I have enough toilet paper for about 2 weeks. And truth be told if you didn't have any I would give you mine.
I'm almost out of dish soap but I can get my camping supplies out, I'm pretty sure I have soap, toilet paper and paper towels packed away.

I love having my boys tucked in at home. Austin is a bit crazy hyper, he reminds me of someone I know....
Alec likes his nothing box, poor kid. Dinners used to be so quiet, now its loud, ridiculous, full of bickering and teasing, I like to sit back and laugh. I love it.

I have been out of work a week now. It doesn't look like I will be back till April 14th per the governor.
Andy is working crazy hours. I am so grateful he works so hard. He is stressed to the max. Andy is at the frontline of all this along with all the brave health care workers. He has put his tie away wearing scrubs right along with his nurses. He came home one day last week at 10:45pm. His nurses still working till 2am. His phone is going off all night, conference calls, problem solving and trying to put out fires.
I have made Andy take his scrubs off at the door. "Andy, take your clothes off there..." I yelled at Andy from the kitchen. Every mans dream to come home and have your wife tell you to strip down! Too bad that's were it ended! "I'm serious, put your clothes in the washer!"
I am concerned with what he will bring home but there is nothing I can do. Just be smart and responsible.

I have been running, walking, even biking. The boys and I went for a bike ride at Indian Springs last week. It was colder than a witches tit in a cast iron bra.
I get all giddy seeing so many people at the parks.
I am still going to physical therapy 3 times a week trying to strengthen my weak sauce body.
I did almost get in 40 miles this week! It was UGLY for pretty much all of it.

I know that some of you might think it is goofy to pray for my run, but I do.
Today was no different, I prayed extra hard because of the struggle I have been in all week. My body has felt so crippled. My breathing has been altered, my legs feel like lead, I have been very discouraged. I thought once I was cancer free I would be back in the saddle again. FALSE.
I can't get my legs to move, my knee is still so quirky and my heart feels like it might explode out of my chest. Then I make the mistake of looking at my pace only to find myself emotionally crushed.
"Stay positive Nita, stay positive.." I coach myself.
SO YES, I prayed last night and this morning asking God to grant me strength. Begging for grace in this recovery process.

The RUNDOWN: Social profiling during social distancing.
Lacey and I met and headed to the CVS parking lot in Lake Orion, this is where we start the Paint Creek Trail.
Social distancing was hard to do when everyone was outside walking, running or biking on the trail.
THE GOAL: to run 14 miles faster than last weeks 14 miler.
It was fun to see so many people. Every age, every nationality, it was a hodge podge of randomness.
It made running 14 miles really go by fast, we had so much to look at, laugh about and carry on being goofy. It is really hard to run 14 miles and not pee, it is even more difficult to try to pee when people are everywhere. One would stand watch while the other one would sneak into the woods, or down a side trail to do our business.
By mile 11, Laceys foot was hurting and my knee was getting wonky. Horses to the barn. We dropped a gear to gut it out, finishing our 14 miler 20 minutes faster than last week!
I praised God! I was just so geeked. I could barely run a 5 miler at the pace I ran todays 14 miler this week. Now, granted it was really flat today.
My Nutrition today

TODAY:
Distance: 14 miles
Time: 2h17m
Pace: 9:27min/mi
Elevation gain; 226

LAST SUNDAY:
Distance: 14 miles
Time: 2h37m
Pace:11:17min/mi
Elevation gain: 680

Thankful for the God's favor. For victories. Great triumphs. Thankful for the little things that make big differences.
Thankful for friendships, for laughter, for family, for HOPE.
In Closing. What seems like slowness towards you in keeping promises is actually a plan of preparation for those eventualities. The time of waiting is not empty time, it is a time of growth and nurturing. I know it is all His timing, being patient in the process will produce fruit if you are willing to change your perspective.

Anita~



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