The Trade off. Keep it simple,

I haven't slept again, a hour and a half nap after chemo. Crystal B. brought our family a wonderful dinner and dessert yesterday. I got off the couch to thank her with extreme fatigue riddling my body. But I never went back to sleep, all night awake.
Its hitting me now.

These number were bad on Monday. Andy circled the areas of concern.
We went into the chemo room KNOWING there was no way that I would be given chemo with numbers that low.
I arrived to meet Dr. Cotan at 12:40pm. They drew my blood again, not like I was expecting it to raise.
My numbers were worse.
I planned on going back home.
Dr. Cotan was just outside our room on his computer looking up different studies on what was considered too low.
It was a debacle.
When he came in he shocked Andy and said he was going to go ahead with treatment!
I was so happy. I just wanted to dig my heals in and FINISH. I only had 2 treatments to go.
Andy wanted to skip the treatment all together. He was very concerned with infection, I have NO IMMUNITY.
Getting Chemo came with a cost. And a VERY stern DR.
"...I have really never been supportive of all your running, but I have never told you NO, but now I am telling you, NO RUNNING....Do you understand what I am saying?"
Dr. Cotan looked at me very seriously in my eyes, not just my eyes but deep  in my soul.. He scared me.
"Yes, Yes everyone, I promise, I will not run....But for like how long? Like through the weekend?"
(I had made plans to run Monday. I needed a long run and had it all mapped out in my head.)
"No running through the weekend."
Then he followed up with "And NO WORKING".
Ouch. I have taken great pride in the fact that I have not taken any time off this for treatment, until now.
No running, No working, stay out of public places, relax, rest let your body recover.....
I am  going to go NUTS I thought to myself.

BUT I GOT CHEMO! Number 15!!

I had the best little surprise, Alec surprised me and showed up at the tail end of my chemo. My heart was so full. 

We finished chemo, I couldn't finish fast enough, my legs were twitching so bad. I could hardly sit still. And I was so stoked....1 MORE CHEMO LEFT!!!! 

When we got home I had the most incredible surprise, Chocolate Covered Strawberries! I ate a half a dozen without even catching my breath! Thank you Kae. 

In Closing, I would like to ask for prayers. The Carboplatin beats my up pretty bad. I just ask that you pray for my health. If I get sick I will most likely end of in the hospital. And that would be even worse. My body can't fight off any infection. 

I can hardly believe that I am almost done. Next week I ring the BELL! 

I am smiling so big right now. It has been a long hard road. I am not done yet, but I am so much closer.  I have done more than I ever thought I could. I have found strength I never knew I had. 

I am tired, I am getting choked up, I think its time to close. 

Thank you everyone for blessing me. 

Anita~