Just let me be ME. Marquette 50k.

MARQUETTE 50k

SATURDAY AUGUST 17TH.5:30am 

ELEVATION: 3,237

START/FINISH: FORESTVILLE TRAILHEAD

5 PEAKS: SUGARCUBE, SUGARLOAF, TOP OF THE WORLD, BEARBACK & HOGBACK. 

CUT OFF TIME; 12 HOURS

GOAL: 8-10

“But they that wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Waking up at 4:15am was a real struggle, my body was sluggish from my "PM" I had taken the night before.
I had all my clothes set out. I needed coffee, or at least the idea of coffee before I could even get the lights on. I knew taking the "PM" so late was going to be a mistake as I stumbled over myself.

I hoped as I dressed that the sky was dry of any more rain. I didn't have my hydration pack to carry anything extra. I discovered a small leak in the bladder of my hydration vest and left it all home, hoping a hand held would be enough.
For that matter I "hoped" for a lot.
My longest training run was 16 miles. I was very concerned for another 16 miles of technical trail.

"Much of the trail consists of moderate to difficult terrain, with significant climbs and technical areas.  According to Ultrarunning Magazine, the course is rated 3 out of 5 for Terrain ("Hilly"), and 4 out of 5 for Surface ("Trail with substancial rocks, roots and/or ruts")."

I was short lipped with the race. I never told my doctors. I knew they would tell me "NO". Race 31 miles up north on a technical trail in the middle of chemo? I knew the answer would be NO. 

I just couldn't emotionally handle being let down again. I just wanted to feel like "ME". I wanted to run. I wanted to sweat and have the feeling of freedom. Free from feeling this damn cancer. Free from Fears. Free from Weakness. Free from Pain uninvited. Everyday CANCER. Every night CANCER, I live it, I breath it, I just needed a break from it. Just let me be me. 

So I stuck my middle finger up at cancer and lined up with all the other ultra runners. I covered my bald head up with a hat Lydia bought my in Hawaii and squeezed in like I was no different than the rest of them running. F-Cancer, I was running with everything in me. 

But first, I prayed. "Dear God...…..keep me safe, give me stamina, give me your strength when I have none left, give me wisdom....." 

In the Dark

Everyone had headlamps or flashlights but me. I chose to run without one, utilizing everyone else's light. I had no pack to store my light, besides it would only be dark for about an hour. 

If I could run 4 miles an hour I could finish in 8 hours, that would be 15min/miles. That didn't include taking photos or aid stations and it definitely didn't include terrain that would unrunnable. 

I followed behind Claudia. It was as dark as the ace of spades. The single track switch backed though the woods, uphill. It took all my concentration to stay upright. I had a 4 point fall the first mile, scraping my leg on the sharp rocks. I jumped up quickly as dozens of runners were lined up behind me. "Get up Nita, stay up" 

At one point we lost the flags telling us we were on the right trail. The line of runners were blindly following Claudia, no one was in front of Claudia. It was hilarious. Everyone came to a complete stop. 40-50 runners scattered in the woods with headlamps all stopped. We found the trail again, I yelled "We HAVE FLAGS!" and we were off again laughing like a group fun run. 

The sun began to come up about 6:30. We were coming out of the woods as the sky was opening up. 

6:43am

It was spectacular. Pam C. was running behind me enjoying the views and even taking a picture for me. I had decided that I would take pictures of the entire race, enjoying every mile. 

This was the first loop, an 11 mile loop. 

Sugarcube: "Sugarloaf's nasty little sibling." 

This was my first peak. She might have been the little sister, but she was a stinker. 

9:11am 

That's is what I was thinking....call 911...this is crazy! You had to really look for the orange flags or another runner in front of you. I was "RIKING" Run/hiking. The rocks were the trail. 

9:22am

We were still climbing, the sun was getting warm quickly. 

9:22am

WE MADE IT! Our first peak! Sugarcube accomplished. 

SUGARLOAF: 

Sugarloaf consisted of mostly stairs. A LOT of stairs. I followed behind Claudia wondering when the stairs were going to end. It was a nice change of pace getting off the rooty trail and using different muscles.

9:47am

 

9:49am

Sugarloaf was a little scary! The climb was technical and very steep. The trail takes you to Lake Superior. It was breathtaking. The sky mirrored the lake, this baby blue with calming waters and peaceful skies. This is why I came out here to run. 

TOP OF THE WORLD

I was outside of the first loop, 11 miles. The second loop consisted of 3 more peaks. I had now ran farther that I had ran in months. I could feel the emotions billowing. I felt incredible. I was coming into 20 miles and my body was still a mystery to me. My knee was feeling the pivoting from the rocks but I was doing more than I had thought. I was still smiling, I was still thinking happy thoughts. I was full of gratitude and wonder. 

I

I enjoyed the river crossings, running when I could but "Riking" a lot. I didn't stay long at the aid stations. I would fill my handheld up, grab some pickles, watermelon and a roll-up, walking back to the trail. 

The Aid stations were full of choices. I was getting hungry. It felt great to eat and get my second wind as I headed out for my climb. 

On Top of the WORLD! Somewhere around 25 miles. 

BEARBACK 

The peaks were coming and going, I just kept knocking them off in my mind. My energy was overflowing. With every mile I accomplished rather than feeling the fatigue I felt encouraged. I just kept saying to myself, "I cant believe I can still run....Thank you God.." 

I had 2 more climbs. The runners were fewer and fewer around me. I had ran many miles now solo. As I started my climb up Bearback the sun was beating down on me. Sweat drenched my skin and dripped off my chin. I ascended up, just getting one foot in front of the other. Just when you thought you were at the top it went back up even more. I hear people cheering me on, "You are almost there..." I laughed when I got a better look and replied, "Easy for you to say, your not wearing a bib!" 

Behind me were 2 the climbs. One I had already ran, Sugarloaf and one I still had to conquer, Hogback. My mind took on a new wave of thoughts. I looked at my watch, looked at the time I had, the miles I had to run and started doing simple math. I had been toying with the idea of trying to come in around 8 hours. I had been managing my time really well with photos, aid stations, running and walking. I knew I just had a few more miles. I decided to go for it. To push myself just one more gear. I had to maintain a 15min/mi all the way in. 

HOGBACK: 

I had heard several runners already warn me for MILES how hard this peak was. It is extremely technical and steep not to mention at the back end of the race. 

OH but it felt so good to be challenged, to feel tired, sweaty, sore and even competitive. It really was some kind of wonderful. At this point quitting was not an option.

Technical?! The rise up the trail was no joke. It was over 80 degrees as we scaled upward. You couldn't see the top, it was daunting. I just followed the girls in front of me. When I didn't see them I looked for the orange flags. I had already passed so many runners as the trail had beaten them up. The rocks covered the mountain making footing near impossible. I had wore the Hokas that Rachel had bought me as a symbol of good luck and love. But even as tough as this shoe was it still couldn't protect my toes. I had banged my toes up pretty bad on the boulders and they were screaming at me. I caught up to the girls. I had heard the one gal in distress. my heart was broken for her. She was in tears. The trail was not runnable or walkable. I found myself on all fours climbing. Huge boulders toppled over each other. You had to get creative to weave forward. It was so steep in spots that you had to stay focused not to loose your footing and fall back down. 

Directly in front of me the one girl was trying to help the other girl. But she was scared, "I can't climb up, I don't trust my legs...." she cried. The other girl was scared to turn around to help her. "Here, let me get in front of you, follow my footing...." As I passed her, she did her best to follow until she got nervous of the treacherous path. I turned around, "Here, do you want me to pull you up? Grab my hand....". As I reached down and pulled her up I could feel her shaking. 

I moved forward coaxing them to follow me, but they fell behind. 

I thought I was never going to make it to the top. At the top, I was so humbled. I MADE IT!! Against the ODDS, I made it!

But the challenge was not over, I still had 3 miles down with terrible footing. I thought my toe was going to fall off. My quads were burning on the descend but I still felt strong. I looked at my watch and picked up the pace where I could. I was so close to making my 8 hour goal. 

I continued to pass runners. Each time encouraging them with "Great JOB, your doing great..." 

I could hear the finish line. 

Tears welled up. I could hardly swallow as the emotions erupted with humility. 

Crossing the finish line I was sobbing. The volunteers came to me, "Are you ok? Can I get you anything?" 

"No, thank you..." I mumbled. 

I had Finished. I ran, I hiked, I "riked", I climbed 31 miles. Triple negative breast cancer, 4 treatments of AC, 6 treatments of Taxol with 2 treatments of Carboplatin and I FINISHED. 

I conquered 5 peaks, over 3,000 feet of elevation in 82' weather....

I just wanted to crumble in gratitude. I am a NOBODY, I came from nothing and have nothing to offer and yet, GOD GAVE me this VICTORY. Undeserving, unequipped and yet HE loves me UNDENIABLY. 

Thank YOU for all the WONDERFUL messages, texts, love, and encourament. Thank YOU for CHOOSING to LOVE ME. 

GLORY TO GOD. 

ANITA~