Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Mountain at My Gates

I see a mountain at my gates
I see it more and more each day
What I give, it takes away
Whether I go or when I stay
I see a mountain at my gates
I see it more and more each day
I see a fire out by the lake
I'll drive my car without the brakes
I see a mountain in my way
It's looming larger by the day
I see a darkness in my fate
I'll drive my car without the brakes
Oh, gimme some time
Show me the foothold from which I can climb
Yeah, when I feel low
You show me a signpost for where I should go
I see a mountain at my gates
I see it more and more each day
And my desire wears a dark dress
But each day, I see you less
Oh, gimme some time
Show me the foothold from which I can climb
Yeah, when I feel low
You show me a signpost for where I should go
Through lanes and stone rows
Black granite, wind blows
Fire lake and far flame
Go now but come again
Dark clouds gather 'round
Will I run or stand my ground
Oh, when I come to climb
Show me the mountain so far behind
Yeah, it's farther away
Its shadow gets smaller day after day
Yeah, gimme my way
Gimme my love
Gimme my choice
You keep me coming around
Gimme my fate
Gimme my lungs
Gimme my voice
You keep me coming around
Gimme my lungs
Gimme my, gimme my
Gimme my, gimme my
Gimme my, gimme my
Gimme my, gimme my
Gimme my way
Gimme my fate
Gimme my lungs
Gimme my choice
You keep me coming round
(Click the title to take you to the link to hear the song)
This was written in between the wings. "..so good"


Music, I have always been so moved my music. It moves me spiritually, physically and emotionally.
It is almost like a second language to me.
My sister in law Kim gives me songs about being a warrior, Demi Lovato "Warrior".
My mother in law and I share songs about Fear.
My girlfriend Sheila shared a really cool song called " My Silver Lining".
We discovered these angel wings. 

MOUNTAIN AT MY GATES has been so powerful to me. It is a little dark, but it is such truth to me. I don't share my dark side often because honestly it scares me and I have to fight like hell not camp there to long.
This is a secular song, but for me...It is very spiritual. It is me speaking to GOD. Pleading with him on this journey, to GIVE me my way, Give me my lungs, my choice and even my fate...


Today as I was meeting Claudia for my pre chemo run it came on the radio. So perfect.

I felt good enough to run 6 fun miles with Claudia, however the fun ended about mile 4 when everything came to a screeching halt. I found myself squeezing every muscle looking for a bathroom! Pre Chemo nerves apparently! Claudia ran ahead of me trying to find me a bathroom while I looked everywhere for a hidden spot I wouldn't get reported!
Thankfully, she not only found me a bathroom, she also found me one that flushed! Its the little things!
Jeff met me after our run to walk the track. Claudia stuck around for another mile and gabbed with us.
Ole Jeffery, Never a dull moment this him! 
"Its the simple things that confound the wise"
I love chatting with Jeff. He is as quirky as me. We share some fun conversations and today we gabbed so much we shared 4 miles!


New Chemo. Today, I start my new chemo regime. Every week for the next 12 weeks, Taxol. They will add a Carboplatin drug to it every 3 weeks starting today.
I am asking for prayers, I read the side effects again last night, that's probably why I about pooped my pants today!
It scares me. I know I will "Get through it". It just SUCKS.
I am heading out to Royal Oak today, my clinic is closed, if you are reading this and could send "Lil Miss Poo Poo Pants" a prayer, I would LOVE that.


Anita.

It was great to see Casey on my run this Morning, I am so proud of this girl!

3 comments:

  1. Prayers, girl! God loves you and so do I! ❤

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sheryl, Thank you soo much, you always make me smile.

      Delete
  2. Pray for you every day Nita. Wish I had magic words for you...the best i can do is LISTEN. Don't hesitate to vent when you need to.

    ReplyDelete