My Recent Distraction: Results.

I had been waiting patiently for over 2 weeks for the results of my BRCA genetic testing.
BRCA1 (Breast cancer 1) are commonly used as tumor markers for breast and ovarian cancer.
This mutation is often inherited. My Dr, Pam Johnson several weeks ago had dictated that it appeared that I most likely had that mutation and she recommended that I have genetic testing to confirm.
I have a lot of cancer on my fathers side that represents this mutated gene. My sweet cousin Lila is currently undergoing treatment just a few weeks ahead of me for the EXACT breast cancer I have.

A positive result on a BRCA test doesn't necessarily mean a person will develop cancer, but remember I already have cancer that is indicative of this mutation.

Yesterday, we were heading out of town for a couple days to take my mind off the fact that I was supposed to be running Kettle Moraine 100k.
I needed the truck washed and cleaned so I headed into Grand Blanc after work. We couldn't leave until Austin got home about 2pm.
I had a bunch of calls to return, the first one on the list was Karmanos.
My heart was beating.
***

My brothers voice made me cry harder. "Bob, I have BRCA." I gulped surprising myself at how the news had set me back.
There was silence, "Well, what does that mean....."
I was so stoic when "Carmen" had shared the results with me. I honestly just wanted to get off the phone and process it. She went through all the recommendations again, and again shared what this mutation had the ability to do. I had already processed it weeks ago but I guess I hadn't, as I sat in my truck crying.
"Bobby it means I have a 40% percent chance at 45 years old of having ovarian cancer within 5 years of my breast cancer diagnosis. And a 30% chance of having breast cancer reoccurrence within 5 years. It means I have to have a double bilateral mastectomy and a ovarian hysterectomy."
Tears dripped down my cheeks, I wanted to just pull over. I wanted to sit next to my brother and have him just hold me like a big brother does.
He always tries to stay positive, stating the obvious, that is will all be over in a few months. "..Anita, it is just another fight you have to battle your way through..."
But that wasn't what was rattling me so bad "...but but Bob she told me something I had never heard before, she told me that it can present itself later down the road as pancreatic cancer and there is no screening for that...."
We both just cried.

I sit hear again with gentle tears. I am still processing it. It is the shadow of future cancer that daunts me.
I can see how people get so discouraged when they battle cancer multiple times.
I have NO complaints with the course of my treatment. I have gotten through it with flying colors, but they idea of possibly having to do it again, that is the shadow that lurks.

My "Recent Distraction" as  "Steve H." a friend of mine described this journey as a whole was a great description to my phone call.
"Karla" sent me this:

"Now may the Lord of peace Himself grant you His peace at all times and in every way that peace and spiritual well-being that comes to those who walk with Him, regardless of life’s circumstances. The Lord be with you all." 
2 THESSALONIANS 3:16 AMP

Peace. My journey is lead by the Lord. He gives me Peace. Peace in the process. 

"Anita, right now you have to sit down with your coach, "God", and have him help you through this next part of the race..." Bob gave me such wise insight reminding me the race I am running. 

"It's just another marathon" has become my mantra. 

Right now, I have hit an emotional stretch, a stretch that when I look out too far overwhelms me and down right scares me. This fear then encapsulates my entire future leaving me feeling hopeless when not managed. 

I have to sit down with God, ask Him for peace in this new distraction so I can continue to move forward in this marathon. 

That I can move forward with peace that I am NOT in control. 

That I can move forward with confidence that God is ultimately in control. 

That I can move forward focusing on the here and now.

That I can move forward accepting the things I can not change. 

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

The courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference. 

Thank you for your continue thoughts and prayers. It has been very supportive for me. I read all your words and try my best to respond to all the comments on my blog. 

Some of you may understand how news can be a small set back or distraction, I hope this helps you to put your faith in God. To take the time and sit with your "Coach" and have him move you forward. Trust in Him. 

One mile at a time. 

*Anita