Wednesday, May 1, 2019

"Anita, Its Just another Marathon"

I had my hair cut in a process to prepare myself. 

Isaiah 40:31
"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, They will walk and not be faint." 

If you have been following this blog you will know that for months I have been struggling with my health.
I have had ultrasounds, a mammogram, a girly check, I have been poked countless times, had more blood drawn than a vampire could drink, I have had iron infusions, a colonoscopy and have seen multiple Drs.
Mostly because of the decline in my running, just being honest. This is how I gauge my health. 
My symptoms:
  • restless legs
  • shortness of breath
  • fatigue
  • vomiting prematurely at races.
  • insomnia
  • Pica, (Craving of chewing on ice) 
From one Dr. to the next I just kept marking them off. 
We discovered I was very anemic. This diagnoses would explain most of my symptoms and a couple iron infusions would remedy those. 

But there was one Dr that gave me an all together different diagnose. 
" Anita, This is just another Marathon...." Dr. Daniel Sullivan tried to explain so I could understand what I was going to be battling. 
"Its going to be a 6 month Marathon, and you are going to have to take it one day at a time..." 
I sat there stoic. Strong. Composed. I was listening but nothing was penetrating. 
"Anita, you are strong, you are brave, you can do this...." I spoke to myself trying to drown out his words. 
"Anita, You have to start answering these questions, you need to start thinking about these things...." 
All I could hear was "You have Stage 2 breast cancer." 
It just bounced around in my head, my ears were ringing. I was trying to be so courageous. 

"...your going to need to start thinking about who is going to help you, how you are going to get to chemo, if you are going to continue to work, how you are going to do when you loose your hair, how you are going to tell your children...."

"My God, My God, my boys" tears welled in my eyes, my boys..." 

Just the Facts:
  • I had a mammogram in December, I was aware of a lump. Turns out it was one "camped" out next to another.
  • My radiologist told me it didn't appear to be cancer but made me promise to get another mammogram in 6 months or he would do a biopsy right there. I promised 6 months I would return. 
  • Within a few weeks I discovered another lump under my arm.
  • In the midst of all my Dr appt, each of my other DRs all looked at my "lumps" and each one said "You need to have that biopsied." 
  • I went back to my physician to share all my information with him and then told him about my lumps. He gave me a very brief exam and with great concern responded, "Anita, THOSE have to be biopsied, 90% of mammograms are correct, but 10% are not, If you were my wife I would have those looked at right away." 
  • They were biopsied April 4th. 
From there it has been a whirlwind. 

My Todays:
In the last week I have had a test every day.
MRI, bone scan, CAT scan, blood draws, Colonoscopy, I had my chemo port put in, tomorrow I have an echocardiogram and next Wednesday I will start Chemotherapy. 
Things are moving fast. 

say hello to my little friend, my port is in!
"Its Just another Marathon"
I can relate to this. I know how to go one mile at a time. I know what "heartbreak hill" feels like. I know what it feels to want to quit and remind myself its NOT an OPTION. I know that there are miles that you feel amazing right before you crash...
I know the marathon, I know every mile. I know the miles I cry with gratitude, and the miles I am praying for strength and perseverance. 
I can relate to this. One mile at a time, one day at a time. Its going to be a 9 month marathon. 
I'm not all that courageous. 
I am scared. But like most races I have done, I am going to do it scared. I am going to do this and trust my training. God has prepared me. God has equipped me for this. 

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 
2 Timothy 1:7. 

I will add more details and share my journey on my blog. My breast cancer is now just another odd that I will overcome. It is not my identity. 
But it will impact me. I will NOT post every blog on social media. 
I hope to share this journey in a transparent way. I will continue to share my running and how my breast cancer will impact that in hopes of encouraging other athletes going through this similar journey. 

Anita~


14 comments:

  1. Wow, Anita! God bless you as you start your journey!! Thanks for sharing and you will be in my prayers! PLUS! Cute hair cut!! You look amazing! Breast cancer is very personal to me, so I will be out here watching your journey and cheering you on in this marathon!

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    1. Debbie, I have to say, I have been spoiled in this journey. I know that I am just starting the course but I have received so much love and support. I know that God is supplying for me love and support. Thank YOU~

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  2. Anita, if anyone can get through this and with flying colors it will be you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you run this marathon..xoxo

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    1. Lori, Thank you, sincere love and thanks.

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  3. Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am. ’
    Isaiah 58:8‭-‬9a NKJV
    https://bible.com/bible/114/isa.58.8-9.NKJV

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    1. Karla, Oh I love HIS word. Thank you, such a gift you have given me.

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  4. Anita
    I love that your treating this like a marathon. I had to do the same but I treated mine like a project plan. This helped me focus while my family and close friends navigated the waters.

    You are a strong woman and with your faith in God This to will pass.

    Hugs and Prayers to you and your family.

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    1. Hope, It makes it all so much easier to manage. When I look to far ahead I find myself overwhelmed. The waves feel like they are crashing over me...Like you breaking it down helps to manage it a little better. Thank YOU~

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  5. Dear dear Anita, I have been so deep in my own things I read this and cry. I am a little mad too, it's not fair. Your a little dynamo in spirit and in all you do, I am going to pray pray pray. This certainly is another marathon, your going to be the champion you already are!

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    1. Your heart is so transparent. This is one of the things that attracted me to you. Your beautiful honesty. It is transparent and real. I have gotten mad a few times. Oh and I have cried a few more, But I am trying so hard to pick myself up with the fuel of others. Your love and support fuels me. Love you~

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  6. Anita, Thank you for sharing this and being open regarding this marathon! We are rooting for you in the our household and will be here until the finish line!!!

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    1. Thank You I am trying,The encouragement really helps!

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  7. Thank YOU! I am grateful for the support, My heart is full.

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  8. Ashley, ahh sweetheart, Don't be angry, Honestly, you should be encouraged, I have been so blessed. So many people like you have come out to love me and support me. I am so loved.

    As tough as this journey has been, I have been so blessed.

    Thank you for reaching out to me. It warms my heart, I luv you sweet Ashley.

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