Birthday Girl. 45..Simple thoughts

Todays my BIRTHDAY!
The best part of turning 45 is a NEW AGE GROUP! That's way more exciting than the doubled gray hair, old beat up hands, dimpling legs and lets not forget the crows decorating my eyes.

For this 45th birthday, I am going to give it to you in 45 thoughts. Not in any random order and with little rhyme or reason.

1. "Perhaps the BUTTERFLY is proof that you  can go though a great deal of darkness, yet become something beautiful."
2. God Blessed me this birthday with a remarkable sunrise over the Lakeloop. 
   
3. I had a amazing day, starting out with 10.5 miles of trails with my tribe. 
4. Andy shocked me and threw me a surprise birthday party at Hilltop on Tuesday night.
   
    
5. I was OVERWHELMED with all my friends who gathered together to LOVE ME. 
6. December has never been a good month for me. 
7. Lacey snuck into my house and decorated it with balloons and goodies for my birthday.
8. "I closed my mouth and spoke you in a hundred silent ways." RUMI
9. I gained 2 lbs in the last week...Eat more cookies!
10. My mother died on December 8th, I miss her and our tomorrows we should have had. 
11. For my birthday, I had to go to the girlie DR, so not cool. 
12. Kris sacrificed her kids concert to be with me on my birthday, traveling about 50 miles.
13. My brother called me and like a lil sister I still get soo giddy hearing from him. 
14. Rain RUN, BRRR, I smelled like a wet dog getting off the trails. 
15. "but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31. The verse Lacey had engraved on my Yeti Mug. 
16. I think I'm changing my favorite color to PINK, a dark deep pink. 
17. My abs still hurt from doing core yesterday, chasing my 20 year old 6 pack. 
18. We found the cutest lil ducky in the woods today, we brought him out of hiding, stuck him in a tree to be the WATCHER of the Woods....creepy.
    
19. I celebrated my birthday on the 22nd for my first 18 years of life!
20. Training is no joke, every week is a new struggle, a new discovery of sore muscles and I'm trying to convince myself I am a Rockstar. 
21. Trail running in the rain is a slide fest for this clumsy girl. 
22. Claudia showed up looking like a brunette Barbie doll to run, she was gorgeous. 
23. Rachel passed out early Christmas goodies, Neck Gaiters, so AWESOME. 
24. "I seem to have run in a big circle, and met myself again on the starting line." Jeanette Winterson
25. I got weighed today, 104lb
26. Blood pressure 108/70
27. I had a steak for lunch and Andy made me Mongolian Beef for dinner...that's a lot of BEEF!
28. SMARTWOOL socks are the BEST WINTER running socks, thank you Lacey. 
29. Anita Maria Cook, my maiden name, My fathers name was Gonzales but he wasn't on the birth certificate..My mom didn't want us to all have different last names since we all had different dads. 
30. Thursdays are my long run day, for now, till next year, then most days will be long run days.
31. Decembers Race is New years Resolution run in Flint, 5k, 3 miles of suckfest. 
32. I was so PROUD of myself this morning, I ate a banana before I ran, Big responsible birthday girl. 
33. My girlfriends Shiela and Holly are taking me to see Aladdin for my birthday.
34. We  had 2 house fires growing up, I don't have any photos of birthdays growing up.
35. "Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely that when others see us they will know exactly how it is done." Rudy Francisco
36. I raced to the trail this morning just to get the sunrise over the lake, I was breathless and enamored. 
37. I am taken back by how many people have reached out to me through texts, FB, and calls to wish me a Happy Birthday, I feel very very special and not special-ed like normal!
38. I was grateful for a new day today. JOY comes in the morning. 
39. My grandma's birthday was Christmas eve, we used to celebrate our special day together. 
40. I thought maybe I should be running 45 miles today, but it was a fleeting thought. 
41. I asked for a new Garmin but then reminded myself I was very grateful for the one I had. 
42. At 45, I still dance around the house like I'm Paula Abdul. Dancing makes my heart giggle.
43. January 1st, I am going back to good eating habits. No more cookies...not soo many...
44. Running hard two days in a row, learn how to run sore. 
45. "At 45 I am still quirky, goofy, obnoxious and not always the easiest to love, but I will love you like no other if you give me the chance, I won't enable you or steal from myself but I will try to love you in all you are made of the best I can."

ANITA~

Taking the High Road

"In this life we are all just walking up the mountain and we can sing as we climb or we can complain about our sore feet. Whichever, we choose, we still gotta do the hike, I decided a long time ago that singing made a lot more sense." Anonymous 

Most of us have misfortunes that we never saw coming. A life unexpected. We tread up these mountains in life grumbling and complaining about our misfortune and series of unfortunate events.

Most of us have been hoofing up this mountain of life and we really have not traveled that far, not far enough to rest soo long on the pity pot the way we do.

We feel battered and tired, often finding ourselves discouraged. When we look at the route we have traveled rather than seeing how much we have overcome we sink inside ourselves feeling our pain.

Sore, beaten. discouraged we struggle to really find that "High Road".

I am SOO grateful for those friends of mine that always lead me down the "High Road".

That's the road that is still climbing upwards, we are still sore and hurt from the path behind us but the company around us is encouraging, supportive and they too have trudged the same path.

The "High Road". The road that lets go of bitterness, resentments, expectations, that is a heavy load to carry on our journey up that mountain.

Philippians 2:14a “Do everything without complaining and arguing..." 

As we climb on, find your happy pace, don't quit.



RUNDOWN: 
At 3 am, I had found myself tossing and turning in bed for hours. My body was screaming, everything hurt. 
I overdid it again at the gym. 
I didn't do that much to explain my suffering. 

I ran a 5mile tempo run, 3 miles at a 10k pace and you would have thought I was going to keel over. WOW! It hurt, but it felt so good to finish when every mile your body is trying to convince you to quit.
I stretched, rolled, did core, and squats and lunges. 

OH OH OH...and I took my socks and shoes off and went old school. The Bag. The snap across your bare feet as you throw a roundhouse to it, warms me. 
SNAP! Again and Again. "Arms up Nita, bring it in tight.." I could hear my old coaches "NITA, don't chicken wing..." 

Next I knew I was sweating, breathing heavy and looking at red knuckles. This guy comes over to me, "HEY, HEY, I have gloves, here, here, use my gloves." He wouldn't take no for an answer. It felt wonderful. 

Sore...Every fiber in me hurt. 

This morning I knew I had to go out sore. No excuses. 
I met the girls at Holly Rec, hoping and praying for an easy FUN run. I didn't tell them how sore I was, I wanted them to run however they were going to. 
10 miles on the trails. 10 miles through snow, ruts, slippery leaves and honestly perfect winter weather. I slipped a couple times, even twisted my ankle once but its all part of training. 
One mile at a time. I was tuckered at mile one. The hills felt like a death sentence. My legs were cursing me. 
But together we did it. We laughed, took photos like we used to, told ridiculous stories and encouraged one another. 
The High Road. 

Training in the Winter trails. 
**In the winter, wearing more of a rugged shoe is better if you are a little concerned about traction. A more ridged sole with more stability. I wear the Brooks Cascadias.
If you are a lot concerned, add some micro spikes or Katoolas.

"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds." Edward Abbey

Anita~

Competing with Kindness

Last week, I was laying back in a bed getting my eyelashes done.. Spoiler Alert...I have FAKE Eyelashes and LOVE them. 

"Lena" my gal and I overheard a couple ladies talking. Lena responds quietly to me "Women should lift WOMEN up, we should be encouraging each other..." 

It is TRUE ladies. 

• We should be complimenting not criticizing. 
• Building up not tearing down.
• Listening and less speaking. 
• Caring and less cold.

I know for me how I feel when I get hurt or misunderstood by another lady. I often think "We are supposed to be on the same team...." 

I am far from perfect and some times insecurity trips up my best intentions leaving me guilty and more insecure. (Just being honest, I am sure none of you struggle with this...) 

Running is a competitive sport. Even my running friends compete silently with one another. We do this harmlessly but we do this. 

We compare training and secretly look at each others race results with no harm. 

I was once at a race where a guy asks me my name and says "Yeah, I know you, you are "______" arch nemesis." I didn't even know this gal. 

It wasn't intended to mean but rather a little friendly competition. 

I found myself playing the COMPETITION Game today. 

I am a competitive person. But not in a mean way, I won't Nancy Kerrigan you at a race. 

I went to GAC after dragging myself out of a pathetic state of laziness. 

The BEST part of having a gym membership in Michigan during the winter you can wear SHORTS or a SKIRT! 

TIME not DISTANCE. 

With about 2 miles in of trying to count my laps, my miles and focus on my splits, my mind was ready to explode. I decided to change it up and go by TIME. To run harder for 1 hour focusing on my splits not my mileage. 

**TRAINING TIP: New runners this is a great way to start running and not get discouraged. It is also a way I train for my ultras. Training hours on your feet helps to prepare you for the time you will be running. Running mileage can not prepare you for the unknown hills, roots, rocks, terrain or elevation that can make a 50 miler feel like a 100K and last that long. 

Back on TRACK..literally! Somewhere around mile three I came alongside a new gal running a good clip. I gently passed her.

She didn't like that. She quickly passed me back!

That's the problem passing people, you better keep your pace or they will pass you right back. I was now accountable to that pace. I had to HOLD IT. But she PICKED her pace up to pass me. 

MY THOUGHTS went like this:

"Oh yeah...you just had to pick it up and blast past me...."

"Ok, Ok, I got this...Steady, I just have to put myself on auto pilot..."

"Tuck in behind her, stay with her..."

"Keep up with her, let her do the work, stay with her Nita, don't let go..."

She was running very steady and strong , averaging a 8:10min.mi. 

I felt good, and I needed the push. Closing in on about 45 minutes she started to slow back, I had to pass her. 

"Your doing GREAT, hold on." I encouraged her. 

She was startled. "Thank YOU, You are doing great too." She then tried to keep going, but she fell behind me.

"Stay WITH me, let me pace you, your doing great, you were holding a steady pace in the low 8's."

And she agreed and tucked in behind me. We exchanged some encouraging words as we ran. Both of us strangers but connected through competing kindly. 

Sadly she fell off, but when I finished, as she passed me she turned around gave me a high five and huge smile, "GREAT job, thank you!" she hollered. 

December CORE Challenge..#Morecore

I felt so good. Soo good I did another mile and a half of pick ups, hitting the straights. 

Sometimes you don't know what you are chasing, you don't have the patience to figure it out but running backwards is not an option. 

I kept the faith, encouraged by another, making it up as I went. 

Worked hard:

Ran 7miles ISH..@ 8:10min/mi

1.5 miles with pick ups

Stretch, core and roll. Tuckered

“If you win through bad sportsmanship, that’s no real victory.” Babe Zaharias

. 

Practice what you Preach.

"No matter how good you get you can always get better, and that's the exciting part."    Tiger Woods

The age of 45 is fast approaching. The gray hair is easily corrected, much easier than the wrinkles and dimpling skin.
I have calmed down over the years, not much but noticeable to those who knew me 20 years ago.

Athletically, I have slowed down. I think it is more painful to see my body slowing down more than wrinkles and gray hair appearing.

2018 I really let my training plateau.

QUANITY vs QUALITY.
Ultra training uses this thought foundationally.
This is where I went wrong:
I ran a lot of miles in 2018 BUT I never ran my trail miles intentionally.
I JUST RAN and Ran and ran....

I rarely did speed work.  I could have done speedwork on the trails or the backroads to best train for my trail ultras but I seldom did this.

Its ironic, I coach my XC kids better than I coach myself. I have multiple different training runs I would use for them but I rarely exercised this in my personal training.
"Practice what you preach..." FAILED.

Part of the QUANITY is not putting too much emphasis on speedwork.
Speedwork needs to be done "consistently and appropriately.." Hal Koerner
Tempo Runs are some of your best forms of speedwork but even those are not recommended but every 7-10 days.

Looking forward now. I will add in gently more QUALITY but intentional and carefully. I have a tendency to break easy.
I have put myself back in the gym.

Rolling & stretching ...practice what you preach Anita

CORE strength is instrumental in Ultra training. As of right now, My abs are so sore I can hardly breath without them hurting. I keep touching and looking at my tummy, my sore tight abs feel like they look like LL Cool J's 8pack but after peaking I am sadly disappointed!

The Training for 2019 has begun. I am pumped to see what next year will bring. (I have a few ideas..)We will save that for another day.

RUNDOWN:
Where: Holly Rec.
Distance: 6 miles
Time: 1h 4min.
The trail was in pretty good shape. A few spots the mud had frozen over leaving deep ridges in the trails but we maintained a very steady pace.
We ran consistent, climbing most of the hills, just slowing down and tackling them.
I felt really good as we finished up, I wanted to do another loop but then I said to myself "EH, December is my down time, I am not training for anything..."

So I headed home...KINDA

I turned unto Hess Rd towards Holdridge. Sure enough, there was Andys truck.
I pulled in and headed backwards on the trail.
I of course got lost, retraced my route and tried again. About a half a mile in, I spot a bright yellow jacket coming down the path.
I do what I do so well, I JUMPED in front of Andy and YELLED "ARRRGH!"
I scared the S**!#  out of him!
It was so fun!
I got my pay backs, that half a mile back, Andy was so pumped on endorphins I could hardly keep up, he took out of the trail like a bat out of the bad place!

My new "Gnome" Beanie by Headsweats. REVERSIBLE. 

Collision:

"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough we must do." Goethe

I am not sure what you are training for. 
Maybe you don't work out or run BUT you can still TRAIN. 

• Do some self inventory. Where did you fall short this year? Were you like me, just settled into a safe place? 
• Where do you want to be next year? What do you want to work on? How do you plan to train? 

Setting goals gives us optimism. Something to look forward to. Set Goals that make you SMILE. That excites you. Share them with someone special in your life, you may even encourage them to come along side you. 

Tea Time: Tonights tea, Tazo Wild Sweet Orange 

Anita~

Remember to Smile.

Monday...gloomy, cold, wet...Smile Anyway.

I thought about my sweet mother today while I was running.

My mother was a beautiful, beautiful woman. She was kind, loving, and would help anyone to a default.
She had a lovely smile.

Sadly, my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer in her early 40's. A benign tumor the size of a grapefruit with porcupine quills. It rested on a nerve behind her ear. The nerve was severed and my mother was left with paralysis, never to smile the same again.

My mother struggled smiling ever since. As teenagers we would always gauge my moms countenance to know what mood she was in.

As a single mother she had a lot of struggles. Just raising me was a struggle in itself.

I LOVED when my mother SMILED.

I thought about my sweet mother.
How hard it was for her to smile.
How she hated how she looked when she smiled.

But how much it meant to us to see her SMILE.
It filled us. It made us warm, happy, genuinely happy.


RUNDOWN: Collision: Smile

Proverbs 15:30 “A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health."

It took everything in me to crawl out of the fuzzy blanket and set my coffee down.  

My body was sore from the 10 miles with Lacey yesterday. 10 miles of hills, we finished our last mile at a sub 8min/mi. 

Yesterdays run had me so stoked I was whistling Dixie all afternoon...

My whistling turned to whining when I had to get up to run this morning.  

I went to Holdridge to run. 

West loop w/ the tech loop then over to the north loop.

I put Sirius XM in my ears. I have a love for Alternative music, Alt Nation was playing its top 18. 

I wasn't really smiling. 

The trail was wet and slippery. I wanted soo bad to run without stopping. Run all the hills, keeping my pace steady. 

The first mile my body was sore and tight. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. But I knew that I had to set that first couple miles. My first couple miles help to determine my pace for the next few. 

As much as I was struggling, I was determined to keep up with my goal. The hills came. 

I was dreading "The WALL". It is the worst of the hills. 

I began to talk out loud. And sing out loud as I faced that dreaded hill. 

"Get up, steady, Come on NITA..." 

I DID IT! I was heaving, my heart was blowing up like a crack head, my ears were ringing and my legs were numb. BUT I DID it. 

I SMILED. 

It was the first time I realized I was smiling.

It was such a genuine smile, that is when I thought of my mother. 

I have so much to smile about. SO much to be thankful for. 

Sometimes, ok, a lot of times I get after myself because I am ALOT of energy and people don't always like my energy, my boldness, my straight forward attitude. It has stole my smile a lot the last week. 

I was SMILING. In that moment I reminded myself, I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. 

I am made in HIS image. 

I am His Daughter. 

He LOVES me.

He gives me my security. 

He Created me.

He Gives me my identity.

And I SMILED.

He gave me these legs to conquer. My heart to fight. My mouth..I am still trying to figure that one out!

"Thank You God, Thank YOU.." Humbly, I thanked God. Giving him the Glory. 

That SMILE felt soo good across my face. 

I thought of my mother, Oh how I wish I could see her smile again. I smiled thinking of her smile. 

RUNDOWN: 

Distance: 6.76

Time: 1:06

Pace: 9:46min/mi

I ran the whole time...EXCEPT for when I heard a shuffle behind me. I looked down and quickly stopped. Running without a leash, a pitbull. I didn't freak out. But I wasn't happy to see this dog WITHOUT a leash. Or any DOG. 

I was again grateful that I was safe. Again, I SMILED. 

“Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.”

Anita~

That First Snow...my lil devotion.

Technically, it is not our first snow. But it is our first Snow Day, our first BIG snow of the season. 

It was the kind of snow that danced in the air. In its silence, it changed the landscape of everything. The snowflakes bent the branches with a thick coat of brilliant velvety dust. 

I really had NO intentions of running when I got the call that school would be closed. 

It was one of those days. 

Snow day. 

Laceys lost her father last week and today was the funeral. 

The wind was so angry that I didn't want to get in its way. 

And I am not training right now.

So many great reasons to NOT run.

BUT then there was ONE big reason to RUN...

THE FIRST BIG BEATIFUL SNOW...It is always so much fun to play in. 

The first snow always brings out the kid in me. 

By 1pm I had plans to go out and play on the trails in it. 

I met Claudia and Rachel for a fun run at Holdridge. It was breathtaking. Stunning. We couldn't make it through a mile without "Ohh-ing" and "Aww-ing".

It was so magnificent we never felt cold or wet. The snow took every struggle, every confusing thought and every negative feeling from me. In its most perfect state it gave me a NEW Beginning. 

The girls laughed, played, and together we escaped from adulting for a few minutes to play like we were kids again.

Fresh Start. My lil devotion.

When you see that first snow, thick and fluffy covering all things you are taking back.  It is disguising ugly things and making all things pretty again.
The old path is gone. There are not many prints before you, as you gently navigate yourself through what you once knew so well.
It all looks so new.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."Isaiah 43:18-19

I needed NEW.
I needed to look forward. It was a reminder that all that ugly from my yesterdays was gone.
The words that haunted me from others was covered. Gone.
The guilt from my mistakes was hidden in beauty. Gone.
All that daunted me, that path overally traveled, beaten down, muddy and messy was GONE.

What was left was Beautiful. A New Beginning.

We all need a NEW BEGINNING. A reminder to LET THINGS GO.
To speak Love and Kindness. And not just to others but to ourselves. See the beauty in yourself.

Today as I ran with the girls their kindness warmed me. They don't hold my mistakes in front of me. Good friends cover you in love and kindness.
Just like that fresh snow. Good friends see your magnificence.

Grateful for mine.
Grateful for new beginnings.

RUNDOWN:
Where: Holdridge West loop.
Distance: 4.5 miles

photo credit Rachel...WOW..I look bowlegged!

Anita

"Can you save my heavy dirty soul...from me.."  twenty one pilots

Thanksgiving. Giving Thanks

It is the end of the day. I am tuckered both emotionally and physically.

This weeks events were kicked off with

• Sunday Runday with Lacey. 9miles
• Monday Funday with Claudia in Fenton, Dahners Park and downtown. 8miles
• Tuesday busy busy at work. The Holiday Hair has started. 
• Wednesday Group run at Holly Rec, backroads. Pie Day at my Mother in laws. I made potato soup for the family and a big breakfast casserole. I taught the nieces and nephews how to make pie crust. Alecs girlfriend, Lydia had fun learning with us all too. It was a LOONG day. 10miles
• Thursday Run with the Hubby around town, BRR, 19' degrees. I hustled to my friends who were running at Holdridge to bring some pie for our Friendsgiving. And from there I kicked it into gear to get home and bake a Sweet Potato Casserole and Corn Soufflé. Needless to say I was already exhausted and we had not even left for Thanksgiving Dinner yet. 5.5miles

HALT

Hungry 

Angry

Lonely 

Tired
(When these things are going on, it is a great Petri Dish for our own bad behavior.

This is a sure fire place to really make a mess out of yourself. 

As much fun as I have, I have really struggled with MYSELF. 

I had a few vomit of the mouth situations. Totally cringe reactions that left me wanting to put my tail between my legs. 

THANKFUL, Thankful for those friends that pray over me in the middle of my sloppy behavior. 

THANKFUL, Thankful for those friends that let me have a tearful breakdown in their kitchen when they are going through so much worse grief than I am. 

I am a little excitable, hyper, high strung, loud, at times obnoxious. I've been called dramatic, passionate, stubburn and spirited. 

I see people roll their eyes at me, I hear the words they say about me and 99% it never bothers me. I often laugh and say "I know, I give people a lot of material to tease me." 

But every so often things seep in the cracks. 

THANKFUL, Thankful for GODS loving reminders.

His PEACE in my Insecurity: "But all who listen to me will live in peace,

untroubled by fear of harm." Proverbs 1:33

His Mercy in my Failures:  "Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge."   Psalms 57:1

A simple post.

No Photos.

Nothing all that great..But HIS promises. 

No Matter What..At the end of the day I am so blessed. God has been soo good to me. 

THANKFULNESS. It is a HEART issue. 

Find gratitude in all things. 

Being Thankful is an opportunity to look outside yourself. 

Thinking humbly. 

Sometimes we have tp put  ourselves in a TIME OUT chair, take a deep breath, pray, and give ourselves a LITTLE GRACE. 

Anita. 

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalms 51:10

New Route. Escaping

We need a new route!" I texted Lacey this afternoon. 

It was a bit obvious that Lacey wasn't feeling up to par when she showed up to my house curled up inside herself. 

Our schedules were pretty open. Andy got called into work and Alec was at work. 

I jumped in Laceys car blind to where she would be driving us. 

After about 20 miles and still no idea where we were running, I thought I should ask. I was kinda getting my hopes up that maybe she was kidnapping me and we were on our way somewhere warm. 

But I liked where she decided. The Clinton River trail in Rochester. 

A new trail. A new adventure. 

Sometimes you just need to get away for a little bit. 
Our run today really wasn't about running far, or running long. To be honest, I am not even sure it was about running at all. 
It was about 2 friends that just needed to hang out together. 

Life sometimes gets you. Appointments, bills, responsibilities, family, work and the list goes on. 
We get pulled physically and emotionally in soo many directions that we often loose ourselves. 
We go on auto-pilot overbooking ourselves with agendas that saturate us. 
Not that most of that is bad. A lot of the time we find JOY in all those things. 

However, life can kick you in the teeth. We have seasons on our life that we are hurting, our friendships, our family the drama that can happen with relationships is all part of living.  But it can weigh on us. 

I had so much fun just running with no purpose. 
We literally drove over 20 miles one way and only ran about 9 miles! 

THE CLINTON RIVER TRAIL. 
We picked the trail up near the Royal Park Hotel in downtown Rochester. We found a parking lot along the River. 
This is a great place to drop your kayak in if you wanted to play that way. 

The Clinton River Trail began in 1998 when the railroad tracks were removed. 
The trail is 16 miles that connect to Paint Creek trail and is part of project that will travel across the state, The Great Lake to Lake Trail. 

We only ran 4 miles, an out and back.

 

 In just that time, we ran along the flowing Clinton River, we were awed by multiple deer, we enjoyed the scenery as well as the connecting neighborhoods. 
It was so nice. The path is flat. We ran on areas that were paved but mostly ran on crushed limestone. 

I look forward to going back. I would like to go back in the spring after a run and drop my kayak in the river. 

Lacey let me have my shenanigans. She looked so cute in her new matching Saucony hat and gloves I just had to snap a couple photos. Besides, she had a side stitch! 

After snapping this shot we headed back up the embankment to the trail. A runner was heading in our direction. I couldn't stop laughing thinking he must think we are so cringe. We just laughed more. 

Anyone ever run the Clinton River Trail? Where is another place to drop in that you like?

ANITA~

Silence means Suffering

When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.  Proverbs 10:19

I have several spiritual gifts that are not anything that worthy. 
The gift to annoy people. 
The gift to talk as loud as a blow horn.
The gift to fill empty space with random thoughts and ideas (nonsensical)  
The gift to make everyone my friend whether they know it or not. 
The gift to get countless eye rolls or head spins over my ideas of brilliance. 

One GIFT I do not have....THE GIFT OF SILENCE. 

The problem with silence is even if words are not exiting my lips they are screaming between my ears. 
I found that out the hard way Monday. I had all these ideas on what I was planning on doing for the day. Unfortunately, my Monday turned out like Mondays are known for.
It went to Hell in a Handbasket.
I sat home in silence all day. I cleaned, I cooked, I tried to fill the hush when the voices got too loud. I sought God for a voice bigger than my own and I even blared music. 
But the silence was still deafening. 

"Silence" was the theme of my partner Monday.
"Silence" was the theme of our run today. 

Like anything, if you work at it long enough I think you will get better at it. But I am not sure that being "Silent" is something I enjoy working on.

Silence often means SUFFERING to me. 
Today proved that well. 
Claudia, earlier in the week, possibly last week even, had planned to do a 8am purposeful trail run. 
Very early my friends starting jumping ship because we all forget it was Opening Day. 
Not real brilliant to run trails on Opening Day. We have done this in the past, you are on your toes for sure with every gun shot. 
After multiple ideas of different techniques to make ourselves suffer we opted for Indian Springs, a tempo run. 

Claudia has been working on her Yoga certification. One of her practices that she is teaching is "SILENCE". 

THE PLAN:
Tempo Run: 2 mile warm up @ a 9:30min/mi. 5 mile Tempo @ a 1/2 marathon pace, 1 mile cool down, shuffle jog to the finish. 
We both brought music and decided we would stay focused and silent during our tempo. 

PROBLEM 1. WE RAN TOO FAST FOR OUR W/U. oops
PROBLEM 2. MY MUSIC PROVED TO BE MORE OF AN ANNOYANCE.

Silence means Suffering. 
It felt good knowing all I had to do was FOCUS on the task at hand. All I had to do was zone in and push myself out of my comfort zone. 
We took turns pulling and dragging each other. At one point, Claudia took off running a sub 8min mile. I knew she had a power song on and that energy would drop down after the song ended. "JIMMY HENDRIX!" She screamed. I was cracking up. 
5 miles of silence. 

RUNDOWN:
Time: 1:09
Pace: 8:41/mi

COLLISION:

Silence means Suffering. 

Tempo runs are not designed to be chatty. " I don't think we should chat..." might have hurt my feelings any other time..But it was too exhausting to string more than a few grunts together. I didn't have the words during our 5 miles. 

A couple things I am learning when it comes to Silence. 

*Respect others. Not everyone wants to chat. 

If I don't know what I am thinking, feeling or the other person isn't at a place they are "listening" silence needs to be implemented. 

Words do fail us. Words confuse us. Words hurt us. 

Silence isn't always a period, sometimes it is a comma, a pause if you will. 

Today in my Silence I was suffering. It hurt. But I knew it was just for a little while. Everything would be better, I just had to work through it. 

Sometimes Silence is suffering. But you have to work through it. You have to listen to yourself, and for me, Listen to a voice bigger than my own. I didn't need vocals to pray. to seek God. 

"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart." Psalms 73:26

How do you do in SILENCE? What does it mean when you are silent?

Anita!