I thought about my sweet mother today while I was running.
My mother was a beautiful, beautiful woman. She was kind, loving, and would help anyone to a default.
She had a lovely smile.
Sadly, my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer in her early 40's. A benign tumor the size of a grapefruit with porcupine quills. It rested on a nerve behind her ear. The nerve was severed and my mother was left with paralysis, never to smile the same again.
My mother struggled smiling ever since. As teenagers we would always gauge my moms countenance to know what mood she was in.
As a single mother she had a lot of struggles. Just raising me was a struggle in itself.
I LOVED when my mother SMILED.
I thought about my sweet mother.
How hard it was for her to smile.
How she hated how she looked when she smiled.
But how much it meant to us to see her SMILE.
It filled us. It made us warm, happy, genuinely happy.
RUNDOWN: Collision: Smile
Proverbs 15:30 “A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health."
It took everything in me to crawl out of the fuzzy blanket and set my coffee down.
My body was sore from the 10 miles with Lacey yesterday. 10 miles of hills, we finished our last mile at a sub 8min/mi.
Yesterdays run had me so stoked I was whistling Dixie all afternoon...
My whistling turned to whining when I had to get up to run this morning.
I went to Holdridge to run.
West loop w/ the tech loop then over to the north loop.
I put Sirius XM in my ears. I have a love for Alternative music, Alt Nation was playing its top 18.
I wasn't really smiling.
The trail was wet and slippery. I wanted soo bad to run without stopping. Run all the hills, keeping my pace steady.
The first mile my body was sore and tight. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. But I knew that I had to set that first couple miles. My first couple miles help to determine my pace for the next few.
As much as I was struggling, I was determined to keep up with my goal. The hills came.
I was dreading "The WALL". It is the worst of the hills.
I began to talk out loud. And sing out loud as I faced that dreaded hill.
"Get up, steady, Come on NITA..."
I DID IT! I was heaving, my heart was blowing up like a crack head, my ears were ringing and my legs were numb. BUT I DID it.
I SMILED.
It was the first time I realized I was smiling.
It was such a genuine smile, that is when I thought of my mother.
I have so much to smile about. SO much to be thankful for.
Sometimes, ok, a lot of times I get after myself because I am ALOT of energy and people don't always like my energy, my boldness, my straight forward attitude. It has stole my smile a lot the last week.
I was SMILING. In that moment I reminded myself, I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE.
I am made in HIS image.
I am His Daughter.
He LOVES me.
He gives me my security.
He Created me.
He Gives me my identity.
And I SMILED.
He gave me these legs to conquer. My heart to fight. My mouth..I am still trying to figure that one out!
"Thank You God, Thank YOU.." Humbly, I thanked God. Giving him the Glory.
That SMILE felt soo good across my face.
I thought of my mother, Oh how I wish I could see her smile again. I smiled thinking of her smile.
RUNDOWN:
Distance: 6.76
Time: 1:06
Pace: 9:46min/mi
I ran the whole time...EXCEPT for when I heard a shuffle behind me. I looked down and quickly stopped. Running without a leash, a pitbull. I didn't freak out. But I wasn't happy to see this dog WITHOUT a leash. Or any DOG.
I was again grateful that I was safe. Again, I SMILED.
“Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.”
Anita~
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