CRAZY or DEDICATED

"....you guys are really dedicated..." 

I was half soaked and sweating at the same time as we came up the hill trying to catch our breath. 

Dedicated?...or CRAZY? 

HE called me dedicated...I call myself CRAZY!

Maybe just a bit emotionally challenged.
Yes, I like that. I have these days I am a emotional garbage dump. Its like I just go dumpster diving in sadness, anger, resentments, confusion…. 
It does not matter how I escape. I can't get the stench off me. It is a cocktail of crazy.  

Dedicated. It was after all raining cats and dogs and I was on a course that was clobbering me with hills. I was feeling a bit dedicated.
But still more crazy.

The punishment felt good. The voices were loud. Lacey kept reeling me back in.

We chatted the first couple miles but we ran mostly silent. silent from vocabulary words but not heavy breathing.

Sometimes Running seems like the only SOLID I still have.  It allows me to feel a little effective. Dedicated. Yes.
Running in the rain with winds whipping leaves at you makes you feel a little more than nothing.

I have these days I feel this turmoil. I feel ineffective.
Days I annoy myself and can see my high strung behavior annoying others.
Days when I wonder why I haven't heard from so and soo ….
Days when I wonder who rolled there eyes at me that I DIDN'T notice.
Sometimes it isn't a DAY... rather a moment. And stupid me, I let it effect my day.

So I run in the rain. I run in the cold. I look forward to the fight. The grind. It is the only thing I can control. I can push.
Pushing myself to that next level is not a punishment as much as it is a purpose.

I guess today it just reminded me to not wuss out. I came up to hill after hill after hill. At first I would tackle it and half way up I would be out of breath, weak and defeated.
Then I tried another approach. SLOW DOWN, BREATH and you will go a lot farther.

That was my lesson today.
Try something new. Calm down. Breathe. Think. Conquer.
The rain washed a lot of my emotional debris away.

I finished my day beautifully. I baked, I was spoiled with a great friendship, my girlfriend brought me lunch and I enjoyed my family trick or treating.

My elevation was like my emotions today! WOWZA! 

Anita~

Detroit Marathon 2018: The Clock Doesnt Stop.

Have you ever had an experience that you were just not sure how you "felt" about it?
An experience that you didn't quite have a handle on, didn't know how you really felt about it?

I think that might be this years Detroit Marathon.

I knew that come hell or high water I really wanted to finish at a sub 4hour marathon.
I knew I wanted to have fun, smile a lot and be twinsies with Lacey.
I also knew I was going into the marathon with an injury from Woodstock on my left calf area.
I knew at some point smiling was not longer going to feel natural, I would probably pee my pants somewhere in that 26.2 miles and vomiting at the finish line would be highly probable.

So after a week of collecting my thoughts and letting some go, I have connected a few moments, ideas and emotions from this marathon.

Prerace:
Lacey, Erin, Melissa and I headed down to Cobo Saturday afternoon for the expo. We met Paula down there to shop and get some prerace jitters out.
I LOVE this expo and spent entirely too much money but the energy with all the runners is one of my favorites.
Paula headed back home after shopping while us girls explored Detroit's Mass Transportation system through the city.
Detroit is epic.
We played on a 20$ taxi ride, we lodged at the Marriott Rensen, we enjoyed fabulous food at Small Plates and behaved ridiculous on the People mover.
Our fun didn't end there, we walked to Astoria and ordered enough dessert carryout to put ourselves in a sugar coma.
Back at the hotel we did dollar store nails, facials and gorged ourselves on cake, cookies, and a multitude of pastries.

After putting on my green clay facemask and jammies I realized we didn't have enough coffee for us all in the morning. Room service said it was going to be a 2 hour wait. "Anita, its Halloween, no one will look at you any different."
COFFEE had overcome every thought I had. I should have calmed down and reconstructed my thoughts. I went down to the front desk looking like grandma Grunt in search of coffee to have in the morning.
As I approached a young lady to help me, I noticed my green mask was flaking off in front of her. I was mortified. Needless to say I think she was very happy to help me in order to get my flaking face out of there.

We set our alarms for around 5:15 am and headed to bed about 10.

RACE MORNING:
A few things must take place in order for me to feel calm at the starting line.
Coffee.
Poo Poo
Pee pee
We are good!

The four of us girls were out the door and heading to the start like clockwork. Most impressive.
The weather was a bit colder than we expected, 34'. But we had our smiles, our excitement and each other.
Andy came down to bike and cheer Lacey and I on. This was going to be fun.
We made our way to the corrals. It was already so packed with runners and spectators. Time was ticking and we were trying to locate Andy. "Nita, are we going to pray before we race?" Erin asked.
"Yes, I just want to find Andy to pray with us." I hollered back. We were all clutching each other in fear we would loose someone in the crowds.
We only had a few minutes by the time we found Andy. I can not imagine starting a race without seeking God first. Faith is believing the things unseen and we had many blind miles ahead of us.

Corral C. 
It was a feat just to get to our corral. At 5'1, weaving through the crowd has its advantage. The disadvantage is you can't really see where you are going.
We made it to the corral, put on our best smiles to convince people to let us squeeze in just minutes before the start.

Heres the funny things about GOALS.
Sometimes they hurt. Sometimes they are a rude awakening. Sometimes we have to reevaluate them.

Running Detroit Marathon was supposed to be FUN. And fun was FUN until it WASNT fun anymore.

It was Fun having countless spectators comment "YOUR skirts are Sooo CUTE!"
It was Fun seeing Andy all over the course asking me "When are you going to pick it up?"
I thought that was more like FUNNY!
It was Fun going over the bridge and screaming through the tunnel.
It was even Fun using Port-O-Johns for the first time. Lacey and I used them 2 times!
It was fun giving High Fives out and cheering the crowd on.

IT WAS FUN FOR ABOUT 20 MILES....
We saw Paula on Belle Isle and that was even FUN getting running hugs from the little Rockstar.
But the Fun Bus hit its last stop on Belle Isle...

They say the race STARTS at 20 Miles. This is when you have to grit your teeth and dig in your heals.

LOOK Closely....This is the Ugly Face...

The pavement pounding was echoing through my bones about mile 21.
Andy could tell I was gritting it out while Lacey was whistling Dixie and frolicking around me.
I was feeling a bit discouraged at this point. I wanted to WILL by body to move faster but my belly was a gurgling pit.
I knew the 4hour marathon pacer was directly behind us because he was full of excitement and loud cheer. I worked hard at not throwing up and not letting him pass us.

I dragged myself one mile at a time watching the clock. I was chasing 4 hours harder than I thought I would have to.

I have to say, my finish was HORRIFIC. I was so glad that the cameras were 2 tenths of a mile away when I completely fell APART.
There is one final push the last half a mile to the finish. The push is UP HILL. I saw the hill but not like I had seen it so many times before. This time it looked like the Grim Reaper. Like Death. A death crawl, a death march... What I do remember about that last hill and turn was I had the life slowly removed from me. By the time I made it up the hill, around the corner my ears where ringing, my tummy was churning, and things started getting real blurry.
Lacey was prancing and laughing a few feet ahead of me.
"laaaaceeyyyy" I whispered. I could barely hear my voice. I was so weak and trying desperately to focus on something.
"laaacceeeyyy" I wimpered with everything I had. I could make out the Finish Line just a few hundred feet in front of us. But Lacey couldn't hear me with all the spectators.
I was going down.
"LACEYYYYY" I screamed in panic.
I made it to the fence, dry heaving. My body lunged forward, over and over and over. I was in so much pain then SKADOOSH...I felt my most amount of talent at this moment. I began projectile vomiting and peed my pants all in one swift move! All two tenths before the Finish line.
I wiped my mouth, looked across the road and saw Andy looking at me a MORTIFIED.

THE CLOCK..Crap the Clock! I had 3 minutes to get myself in order and make it across the Finish line.
I did it!

I was a hot mess at the Finish Line but I FINISHED!
Time: 3:58:19

The BEST BLING EVER! They gave out neck gaiters in our goody bags! 

I always try to keep it real. The reality is I said "I am not running another marathon..."
Less than 24 hours later I remembered I had Marine Corp Marathon next year that I deferred.  I also caught myself looking into the Ann Arbor Marathon as a training run for an Ultra I am highly considering in June.

Its fun to push yourself. To see what you are made of.
So many times I said to myself "What do you have to prove?"
The answer came back the same. "You set a goal, a goal you knew you could achieve, no one said it wasn't going to hurt....."

It was so fun seeing Andy biking through Detroit cheering me on. Big girls can still have adventures and dreams. I am grateful to have someone who still cheers me on in those. 

Just a REMINDER...Life has its own Clock. And it does STOP. 

LIVE life. Love Life. Stay Humble. 

Love the tears, the victories, feel the defeats and the discouragements but what ever you do, Don't live life to EASY. 

Take Chances, Set goals and No MATTER how old you are NEVER quit DREAMING. 

Anita~ 

Detroit Freepress Marathon T-3 days

"I want to run every race with a big heart."
- Ryan Hall

I recently organized a bunch of my running shirts.
I have several shirts from Detroit Races. I have ran all distances. The 5k, several half marathons and a few marathons.
The farthest back shirt I found was from 2007. I am pretty sure that was my first Half Marathon. I ran that with a torn ACL.
That was the FIRST time I tore my ACL, I tore it in October, I didn't know exactly what I had injured but I knew that if I went to the DR's they would NOT let me race. I promised myself to get through my half marathon THEN go and get accessed.
And I followed through and ended up having surgery just weeks later.

I have ran it with Lacey, and I have helped pace Claudia for her first Marathon in Detroit.

I didn't run today.
I did have a fabulous breakfast with my girlfriend Holly at the Broken Yolk in Lk Orion. They have the best Raspberry Crepes.
I also had a wonderful pre-race massage with Lacey at Massage Green.

But I didn't run.

I made my list for the race, packing enough for a half dozen races. Hopefully, I won't forget anything. Like the one year I ran with Danielle and forgot my running shoes for Rock CF half marathon.
True Story.
Typical Anita~

Good News, It is going to be 1' warmer at 42' now and SUNNY! The wind alert is GONE! I think I am going to attempt to wear a running skirt. And layer up on top.

You may not hear from me again until after my Marathon. Keep this pipsqueak in prayer. I am still nursing that injured leg.
Goal: sub 4 hour marathon. 
Time: 3h:56min.  Average pace 9min/mi. I would seriously do the happy dance if I ran that the way I have been feeling.

"We runners are all a little nutty, but we're good people who just want to enjoy our healthy, primitive challenge. Others may not understand running, but we do, and we cherish it. That's our only message."
- John J. Kelley

ANITA~

Rest Don't Rust.

Detroit is T-4 days!

This week the taper continues with todays run, a WHOLE 4.5 miles. Easy like Sunday Morning.
For a grand total of....Drum Roll Please...12.5 miles!

I may run a COUPLE more miles..and then I may not.
It is sooo stinking COLD here. The cold weather only made it easier to NOT run. It made TAPERING back that 25% of my average miles really simple.

The idea of tapering is to Rest Not Rust. To allow your body to recover, heal and rest so you have fresh legs for the race. It is important to continue to run your intervals or keep up on your workouts.  Trust your training and cut your mileage back 25-50% the last 3 weeks of your training.
You will not loose any fitness, this time actually makes your stronger.

Todays run was my first run in leggings this season.
It was also my first run where it was dark by 7:30pm.
And todays run was my first run in my new running hat I purchased off Poshmark.
LOVE it.
It is REVERSIBLE! A beautiful aqua color on one side and the other side is dark grey. The brand is Sugoi. They sell this brand at "Complete Runner" in Flint. Sugoi has amazing running and cycling clothes for both men and woman.

Not the best picture..But you get the idea. I think I am going to cuddle with this hat tonight. I love it. 

TAPERING also opens up my day so I can do some fun shopping. Today I made it to Rochester to Trader Joes. I have been trying to make it out there at least once a month.

I bought this granola to try for Detroit Freepress Marathon. This will go in my bag of goodies for me and the girls this weekend.
I also bought a bunch of other goodies for THE WINNER of my MUSHROOM Contest.
Unfortunetly..NO ONE ANSWERED MY BLOG!
I had almost 300 people read that post but NO ONE WANTED TO PLAY.
BIG Bummer too. I purchased some really fun goodies.


Sundays marathon should be interesting. The weather right now is HIGH of 41' and WINDY.
I am going to pack everything!
Skirt, tights, jacket, throw away jacket, gloves, socks, shoes, shirts, arm sleeves, hats, sun glasses. water bottle, gu's, and the list goes on!

My Bib # is 662.
Between the Half Marathon and the Marathon I have ran Detroit close to 10 times.
Detroit is one of my favorite Marathons. It holds my P.R. for the half marathon and has MANY Many tears down its streets. I was training for this marathon when I lost Ariel. I almost didn't run it that year. I always dedicate mile 21 to Ariel.
This mile reminds me to FIGHT. To dig deep, grab a hold of HOPE, FAITH, and PERSEVERENCE and let them drive you to the Finish Line.
This mile encourages me to Trust the Process.
I remember training those last 3 weeks before Detroit. I just wanted to die. Even though I had my boys I had so much loss I was broken. I felt like a black cloud just hung over me. Life wasn't fair. I couldn't it take anymore.
I was running my last longish run down E. Holly rd. I was crying, sick, confused,hurt. Oh God, I hurt soo bad. I was so dazed and depressed I had allowed my body to run into oncoming traffic. I was void of any control over myself. I snapped too after almost getting hit and a car swerving from me. I found myself broken alongside the road in some trees trying to get it together.
It was at that point, at my bottom, the beginning of my end I knew I needed a voice bigger that my own.
I had listened to my grief, my tears, my pain...
Sometimes it is soo hard to get over ourselves. Grief and Pain can bury you emotionally and physically if you let it. I opened my heart back up to Gods healing promises. He breathed life slowly back into me and strengthened me for great and mighty things.

"The Lord hears the Brokenhearted and saves those crushed in Spirit."

Anita~

Detroit Free Press T-6days-Goals

Goals?
To finish? Not good enough.
To Finish in under 4 hours. Maybe not setting the goal hard enough.
To have FUN? Yeah...I like that goal. No pressure.

Seriously...trying to figure out a goal for this marathon is no easy task.
I am still nursing an injury on my left leg from Woodstock 100k.
Road running HURTS.

I am thinking I have blindly morphed into a trail runner. I would rather get hurt tripping over roots then feel every pounding sensation on the pavement.
Last week, after my 10 miler on the pavement my hip jacked up on me all day. It was the strangest thing. I NEVER have hip issues.

There is something special about running in the trails hidden from the pollution of daily life.
Just me and nature.

A TAPER RUN at Holdridge. 

Intermediate Plan.

This week INCLUDING the marathon total miles are 35.2 miles

The Runners World Big Book of Marathon and Half Marathon Training. 

The Advanced training still only has you running 11 miles total not including your Marathon. 

Good reminders to TAKE IT EASY!
This reminder was great today because I didn't have any MOTIVATION to run! It was 49' out and rainy. The coffee was good and the warm bed was even better. I may have snuck back in after I made Alec's breakfast, lunch and saw him off to school.
I knew if I didn't SUCK it UP and get out there I wouldn't run AT ALL.

Motivating yourself to run in cold wet weather needs backup. I was so glad to see my friends were more resilient than I was. I leached on to their run to get me 8 miles this morning.

HOW Many Mushrooms/Fungi  Can YOU NAME? 

 I had a great run, 6 miles on the West loop @ Holdridge and 2 miles of hiking/mushroom hunting on the North Loop.


CONTEST.....Who Wants to Win some "FUN"gus fall goodies?

2 DAYS only...Who can NAME the most Mushrooms/Fungus from the pictures above?
Wedneday is the Deadline.
*** YOU MUST COMMENT BELOW TO WIN! IN THE COMMENT SECTION OF THE BLOG.

SOME FUN MARATHON TWEETS:

Good thing its not 26.3, because that would be insane.

TOENAILS are overrated.

You are NOT almost there.

Some day you won't be able to do this, TODAY is NOT that day!

"Marathons are extraordinarily difficult, but if you've got the training under your belt, and if you can run smart, the races take care of themselves." Deena Kastor

ANITA~

A little piece of me..Anger

When I was about 10 years old we lived in a one bedroom schoolhouse on Oakhill Rd in Holly Michigan.
My mother was struggling really bad with a series of consequences from her addiction.
That's another story, or two or three.
Anyhow, we lived next to the Odettes. They were a modest family who lived in a tri-level and had 2 children. One girl, I forgot her name and her older brother was Micheal. The two siblings I remember were both gingers. A random piece of information.
My sister and I played with them a lot.
One very hot summer day we made a fort in the front yard and played "house".
We all picked the character that we wanted to play.
Without much thought I chose to be the Mother.
Not just any mother...I was the mother that couldn't cope very well. I had fake cigerettes, a empty bottle of my moms pills that contained candy and a glass to hold my "drink".
I played the role very well.
I look back 30 years and think how I played a all to familiar role.

I chose many many years ago not to be that parent. My mother was an amazing lady, but addiction had a grasp on her, she was a slave to it.

The TRUTH is. I have fought very hard to make different choices to provide a different life for my children.
Unfortunately, I have won the battle of addiction but there is a character defect that I haven't won. That I have almost nurtured.
Anger.

"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. "

Psalm 37:8

"Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly." Proverbs 14:29

I grew up with so much Anger. So much fighting, physical chaos.
Irish and Mexican.
I have let my temper get the best of me more than once. I have done things that make me cringe.
Last week, I almost lost my testimony AT CHURCH. I went into mama bear mode with the group I lead. I am really glad I didn't get escorted out.

Most of my Anger is honestly what has driven me from the way grew up. I have used my anger to fuel me into fighting all of hell for a new Beginning.

Today, I felt Anger lurking around me.
October is SUCKY month.
I  basically lost the most amazing ladies in my life in October.
My Grandma, my sweet sweet angel.
My Mother, she went into coma and never came out. No good byes.
My Niece, Ariel, there is so much I could say about her but it is a sensitive loss.

Emotionally, I am a little dark, my spirit is waging war inside me. I have had a rough week with other battles, exasperating this black hole inside me.
Running always help calm my spirits.

I knew I was running a harder run today, this would really help to balance me out.
My running partners wanted to run back roads again but that was not going to work for my time, and  I had planned a different type of run for today.

I took off solo with the intentions of running to the track. I wanted to run fast, intentional, I wanted to sweat out my emotional garbage.
I needed my run to be focused and deliberate.
But...I ran right by the track!
I changed my mind and decided to aim for a solid 10 miler. A tempo run.

The problem was my fists were clinched with anger. And I couldn't get my easy pace to a easy pace.
I knew I needed a strong run so I just decided to run through the anger and make myself suffer.
"Get after it" I barked at myself.
"Calm down, breathe..breathe…"
"GO, Go...pick it up, UGH..."
I clenched my fists YELLING at myself in anger and grief.
"Nita, NO one is going to run for you, No one is going to want this, you have to FIGHT for this. You have to want this, this is your run, your fight, You Have to WANT it."
FREE Commercial...No one can do your work FOR YOU. You Have to WANT it.

It was true. I came up over an incline out of breath, lungs burning, legs wobbly and I grinned.
My Anger was a reminder to choose MY FIGHT.
I fought for that 10 miles. Each mile.

Anger is just a tool. It can destroy a city or it can rebuild one. 

How do you handle your anger?
Anita~

The Arena of Success and Failure

That's a Big Mouth there!

"IT'S A DOWNHILL FINISH....." I yelled back at Lacey as we finished up our 15 miler.
My legs just took the momentum of the hill and moved much easier than they were moving the last 3 hills.
I fixed my eyes on this puddle to the right of the backroad we were on waiting for my Garmin to BEEP.
"BEEP", hearing it with anticipation I looked at our last mile, "Yes!" I was so excited, another sub 9m/m.
"Lacey, I am so happy!, I am so happy!" I said with excitement.
"I know you are.." Lacey replied letting me have my moment.
"We did it! We rocked that run..."
Lacey let me take a selfie of us to capture my euphoric state.
Doped up on endorphins, I rambled more on how stoked I was about our run.
"....You know Anita, I don't mind running faster but you really should let me know your plan..." Lacey was gentle in her words.

Lacey was right. I have more confidence in Lacey being able to hang with me than me being able to hang with her.
I secretly knew I wanted a stronger run, but I didn't share it with her in case I couldn't follow it through.
After the first 3 miles, Lacey could tell I was sandbagging.
I was hitting the hills and a LOT of hills.
At mile 11-ish the cat was out of the bag. I shared my little plan. Once she knew the plan she began pulling me, holding me accountable and even making me work harder.
Mile 14, Lacey picked up the pace making me work really hard. I wanted so bad to slow up but she wouldn't let me.
8:13min/mi.
My legs were so fatigued, my lungs were heavy, and I couldn't even celebrate because we still had another mile to go. And we couldn't call the last mile in or it would all be in vain. It would ruin our overall time.
So...we caught our breath, dug our heals in, relaxed the pace and finished just a little below our announced goal.
HAPPY..I saw our overall pace and YES! I was sooo happy.

Mile 9...Yeah..that was the culprit. We hit a really hard hill killing our pace. Lacey knew we had been running strong until we hit that mile. "It would be a great run if we could just erase that 10min/mi." Lacey said planting a seed.  That is when I decided we couldn't erase it BUT we could work really hard to recover from it. And that what we did. 

2 weeks until Detroit. My long runs have been great.

Its such a beautiful fight between my ears. The adrenaline rushes as you dig into the questionable arena of success and failure.
Pain strikes with curious blows. Curious as to how you will respond.
Today, I embraced it.

SMILE! One cheesy grin shared when you nail your run!

Memory Lane:

"When you put yourself on the line in a race and expose yourself to the unknown, you learn things about yourself are exciting." 

This time last year I was running my first 100 mile race..its all Fun and games UNTIL....

Its 2am, you just want to sleep, your cold, sick and did I mention you just want to sleep? 

But...Epic things don't happen when you sleep...

Sub 24 hour 100miler. A second wind at 3 am, a amazing crew and a lot of prayers. 

ANITA~

Running or Swimming or both.

"We all swim deep in the rivers of our ancestry." The Broken Road

The last couple weeks I have been looking back at those who came before me.
Even though no one ran in my family, my family were still all runners.
They ran from their mistakes.
They ran from their past.
They ran to the bottle, booze, or pills.
They all ran in so many ways.

Even though my running is more physical in nature, in so many ways I see my running just as crazy as the running that was done by those who came before me.
Excessive to some.
Extreme to others.
Outrageous to many.

All of which, I still find myself doing the doggie paddle behind those who came before me, only I am swimming with a different purpose and in a different direction.

The month of September began with a great victory, Woodstock 100k was a success. Unfortunately, September held a few disappointments, Rejection from The Boston Marathon and the deferment of MCM, due to the tragic accident of my sister in law breaking her back, devastating her dream.

Injury has been lurking too close to comfort the last few weeks. I have had soft tissue tenderness below my right knee since Woodstock.
For several weeks I have kept my miles down as to not compromise my long run.
This has allowed my long runs to be stronger than normal.
SUNDAY, Lacey and I ran the Polly Ann trail and the week prior we ran the Paint Creek trail. Both runs I felt great.
Sunday really surprised me. After running 18 miles, I waited for my body to break down only to discover my legs felt stronger. I led the last 2 miles, pushing the pace and finishing mile 22 at a 8:39min/mi.
MONDAY, I called it in. I decided not to run at ALL. Rain scattered throughout the day making my  decision really easy and guiltless.

The leaves are just starting to lighten up. The trails had a lot of hikers today. We found this little pooch beaten up and running by herself on the trails. She joined us. Sadie, was bleeding on her face and looked like she had gotten into something. It was sad, as she ran with us she would wimper. Melissa and Erin found her tags and called. They owner was on the trails about a mile behind us. We were able to get Sadie reunited with her mama. 

TODAY, was a fun trail run with Erin and Melissa. I had time to do more than 1 loop but I didn't!
Less than 3 weeks until I run Detroit Free Press Marathon.
This is the first time I am just not feeling the pressure. I feel so content.
The temps were warmer. My company was so sweet. Erin, Melissa and I took turns inquiring with one another. Our conversation was deep and interpersonal. Each one of us sharing parts of ourselves that were reserved. I loved how each of us inquired details from one another. It was such a sweet time. We shared our ancestry in one fashion or another.

I smile at my heritage. Not because it was beautiful, but because it was beautiful.
a beautiful disaster.
Because in all its imperfections it was perfectly orchestrated.
I can see soo many places, so many years, so many situations God directed me, provided for me, healed me, comforted me and forgave me.
In my darkest hours, my loneliness moments I was never alone.
Soo many tears, screaming fits, rants, depression that I saw no hope.
HE never left me.
And I smile.

Today I am grateful for sweet friendships.

Anita~