My issues with Pain.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

My client Laurie came in this past week. I love listening to my clients, they become like family to me.
Laurie asked about my running. This always makes me smile.
As I shared some interpersonal thoughts on my running, more the testimony of my running and nothing really about my miles or races, she shared HER outlook on my running.

I always try to explain that my running is deeper than putting miles in to people. Laurie commented that my running helps to show that you don't quit. She added much more details to her thoughts but in a nutshell that was her thoughts.

Yes, Yes. It is human nature to look at "ANITA Running" and roll your eyes or think, "Ah, that's all she does…"
But to some they see a different picture.

Today, I ran on the trails alone at Holdridge. It took everything in me to wade through the obnoxious voices of defeat.
Seriously, with only a mile in the temperatures were well over 80'. My skin was slick with sweat dripping in all corners.
Loud panting heaved from my chest as I WALKED up the hills. My ears sounding like a drum solo, my heart was beating so heavy.
IT WAS AWFUL.
I couldn't convince myself that running in the heat was one of my better ideas. HOWEVER, I did smirk knowing that I had cheated this long run. I met lacey at 7am and together we ran 7 miles.
I just had to make it out of the trails at 9.5 miles.

"Why am I suffering?" I asked myself, the same question I ask myself all the time.
I never want to forget what Pain feels like. You can not be an Overcomer if you do not experience Pain.
Part of me feels like I deserve Pain. How will I ever know what I am made of or capable of if I take the easy train?
We have gotten so lazy and complacent. We don't want to feel pain and avoid it at all cost.
Running brings that suffering to the table again.

Today I was lonely. Grieving. Loss. So much loss. I pushed myself up the hills whispering "Up, Up Nita, all the way up."
It hurt so bad as the blood left my legs leaving them feeling like dead limbs.

The woods were so hot. I felt like I was running in a oven. The air was still, thick and stagnant.
I told myself to just get to the next mile marking.
Little goals to break up my agony.

The pain life brings us doesn't have trail signs or maps. There is no path mapped out for us to navigate ourselves through the anguish and turmoil life presents.

And often times we will see danger signs but look for escape routes. This does not dispose the hurt, pain, or discomfort, it often only prolongs it or allows it to gain momentum, tripping us up later down the road even worse.

Further into my run my body began to have little twinges. Knee aches, sore feet, silly little things. These only gave me fuel to persevere. Pain was relative. I had suffered with deep inclines and steep declines, my eyes were stinging from the sweat and I had made it through fatigue and fear. I had managed my pain and with the end of my run just a little bit further I knew these were just mild annoyances.
I was confident through my Pain I would overcome.

My challenge to you is to feel the pain. But Don't Quit. Whether it is the struggle of being a parent, or the loss of a beloved or maybe it is trying to get healthy and active, Just FEEL IT.
Be courageous and make your move. There is purpose in your pain but you must persevere to find out.

Anita