It is always so funny when I hear how people describe me, as if they really know me.
Being an extrovert for me is like being a bull in a China shop. I can really leave a trail wherever I go.
I could do an autobiography on the things that I have heard people say about me. People that love me, people that know me, people that don't know me and of course people that could care less for me.
HOWEVER....
At the end of the day, most days anyways I try to let it go. I still hear those words of that person who spoke ill about me, and they still hurt but I really try NOT to let it break me.
THIS week was a week of checking myself. I had a couple encounters allowing me to see where my heart was.
Todays long run proved to be more valuable than just a training run. It was about 4 hours of doing MY inventory regardless of those that have taken my inventory for themselves.
Seriously, when is the last time you were in your head for any length of time? Not a place many of us like to travel, camping out in our personal mind madness.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
Just be kind. Respond in Love. Don't post your issues all over social media calling people out or responding to bad behavior.
LET IT Go.
If you have nothing nice to say...Don't say Anything.
Give second chances, or third or fourth.
Build a bridge and Get Over it.
I literally have a Hate Club. But I have learned that I can only do what I can do to mend bridges and at the end of the day they have the problem not me. If I have done everything in my power to make it right just shy of compromising myself or being a doormat then I have to LET IT GO.
For me "Letting it Go" doesn't mean it doesn't rear its ugly head emotionally every once in a while because it does.
And somtimes it takes a 4 hour run to let the emotions sift.
But it feels good at then end of the day to know I am not holding grudges.
RUNDOWN:
Distance: 21 miles
Claudia met me for accountability and motivation at 6:30am at Holly Rec. We took the first loop easy. This was my back to back run, yesterday Claudia and Lacey met me at 6:30am for 15 miles.
Claudia could only do 1 loop with me, that is why it was so important, I needed to be pushed.
My second loop, I put on bugs spray and tried to pick up my pace just a little bit more. I ate some trail mix and enjoyed a Starburst Claudia gave me.
The voices in my head were getting a bit unnerving as I ran. I prayed a lot asking God to help me work through several things.
I also made a deal with myself. GET through this 2nd loop and the last loop I could listen to music. A little treat.
As I came into my third loop, I was excited to turn on my tunes. I could smell myself and it was rather savage. Sweat mixed with DEET and saturated with evergreen and woodsy dirt funk. GROSS.
My water was getting low. I knew my 20oz bottle of water I put in my hydration pack would be gone before I was done.
But the music had my feet feeling fresh all over. My pace picked up. That last 6 miles I added some distance on the dirt road and ran most of the hills.
I came out with over 18 miles.
I had to run home and didn't have time to run that last couple miles.
I took care of my business at home washing up and changing my clothes to encourage me to finish my distance and it worked.
Holdridge has a 2 mile loop that is easy. It was slow, almost a hike but the tempertures were pushing 90' and I was just happy to get my legs to cooperate.
Let your grudges go. Life is too short.
Take time to actually listen to the voices in your head. Then rather than pointing fingers at everyone else Point them at YOURSELF and figure out what good is in you.
It is a beautiful feeling to not be angry at people, even when you think you are justified.
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