Emptying the Tank

"Hey, I learned a new fact today, it is a little discouraging....Did you know that when you turn 60 years old you loose 5% of muscle every year?"
Dad shared this little fact with us yesterday evening, and Andy was QUICK to reply. "WOW, there you go Nita, you will be done running by 60!"
UGH.... I will be done running until the good Lord whispers that in my ear. I am not always a good listener, he will probably have to SCREAM it.

The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs16:9

Setting Goals.
Wednesday night I set a goal for Thursdays run. A goal I knew would take work. A goal that made my palms sweaty.
I wanted to run Grubers Grinder the best I have ever ran. That's 16miles of trails at Holdridge. I had to beat 2hours and 53minutes.
In order to accomplish this I would need to run more of the hills, walk less, walk while I ate and not take any pictures!

The RUNDOWN:
Have ever set a goal and felt like everything or everyone was out to sabotage it?
That's how I felt on yesterdays run.

I took off with music as my only running partner. I chose music to help me focus and not get distracted by noises. When I run solo on the trails I tend to be a little paranoid. I needed to shut down any noises that might make my pulse race more.

A signifigant issue I had in the beginning of my run had to do with my hydration pack.
I broke my water nozzle on my hydration pack a last week. This forced me to use the water pouch that I have not trained with. They are carried in the front of my vest. This started out a early annoyance. It bobbed around, making my hydration vest jiggly.

I really encountered a barrage of annoyances.
The humidity was so thick, my entire body was saturated within the first 3 miles. My skin was like a slip and slide. My hair was dripping.
There was a fog throughtout the trail, giving the woods a eerie feel.

I ended up placing the bouncing water pouch in the back of my hydration pack. This meant that in order to get a sip of water I was going to need to take off my vest or become Stretch Armstrong to retrieve it.
This method of getting water messed my time up.

The many phone calls I got, did not help with maintaining my pace. When you have kids at home you need to remember you are MOM first.

Around mile 8, I felt a SHARP burning sting in my left ankle. "UGH!" I yelped loudly. I knew that the instant burning was the damage of a bee/wasp sting. I hobbled a bit, assessed the damage but quickly got going again.

I counted each mile, checking my time to try and stay consistent. I found myself slowing down. I didn't drink much at all, it was such a inconvenience. Even eating was a pain the  bump.

I had a couple miles I was trying to do the math to see where about I would be coming in at. I got a lil discouraged when my energy level was not matching up with my pace.

I began entertaining the idea of changing my goal.
"Maybe it is just not meant to be."
"All these interruptions might be a sign..."

Only something else whispered. "TRY harder, work harder, don't give up."
I realized it was better to give my all and fail then to quit trying and fail.
An honest effort was more commendable than wussing out.

I kept in eye on my watch. I ran the flat areas as strong as I could. I ran the hills the best I could. I did my best to pick up my pace on the down hills.
The bugs discovered my flesh the last few miles. My arms were covered in sweat and webs. The bill of my hat was dripping with dew from the trees. But I kept moving trying to beat the clock.

I could see the light at the end of the trail. I was so anxious to see my time.
2:43:27.
I did it!!
BUT I WASNT DONE....

RUNNING EMPTY.

I wanted to be done. My body was done. I was trying to catch my breath while being pained my a stupid side stitch.

I had only drank 12OZ of water and ate a mini bag of trail mix.
BUT...I needed to run EMPTY.
I headed to the West loop for another 4 miles. There was nothing left in me.
My body was actually locking up.
My only plan was to make it through 4 miles, run, walk or crawl.
At mile 1, I was MISERABLE. I felt like I had been attacked by vampires I was so drained.
I needed to run BONKED. I needed to feel miserable, exhausted, sore, and weak. It is good training for your mental self.
Running a 100 miles is going to birth a lot of emotions. If I don't learn how to feel them now, what will I do when I feel them there?
I needed to run in my worst self.

ONE mile at a time. I finished. It was 4 miles of UGLY. But it was also a big victory for me.

20 hard training miles. Each run unique in its own way. Difficult in its own way. Both equally as hard but in different ways.
One was more Physically and one was more Mentally.

LAST thoughts.

The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

Somewhere in that running, I reminded myself how blessed I was to get to feel all this. Each mile God kept me upright. He continued to add miles to my run. This  was a run I planned through my little mind...BUT HE directed my steps.
I reminded myself HE sets the stars, HE sets the sun...HE directs my steps.


ANITA~