Somewhere in the Middle

"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today."

William White

Middle aged.
Middle ground
Somewhere in the middle.

What is 42 years old?
"Oh, you don't look that old..." Some will say. My response is usually "Thank you, that is very sweet, that's probably because I confused you by how childish I act."

But what does "that old" mean exactly.
I don't consider myself old, I am still struggling with considering myself middle aged.

I like middle-ish.
Somewhere in the middle.
Not Mediocre. That's all together different.

My running is somewhere in the middle. I'm not running the miles that I was running in August but I have not hung up my running despite feeling like a weakling.
My speed is nothing to write home about unless your confused with what a sloth is like. In that case I am a beast.

I am gently reminded that I really am not training for anything, this makes my middle ground runs welcomed.

Clarkston Backroads is the second Sunday in November but it is not a serious race, it is more of a middle-ish race.
Not serious, but not a complete "Fun Run" either.

Middle aged life.
This afternoon presented itself in a very middle aged way.
Couldn't sleep beyond 6:30am on a Sunday.
My 14 year old was sick and coughing all over.
I skipped church to take care of him.
Accidently poured a half a cup of flax seed in my Irish cut oatmeal.
Wasted 2 hours of life playing mindless games of Words with Friends and texting. Because dealing with LIFE on Life's terms wasn't working well.
Flooded the basement from a load of wash.
Washer died, unrepairable.
Husband got butt hurt at me because I went running without him.
Quickly tried do dry out the house and prepare tacos for youth group.

This is NOT a bad day. It is a normal middle aged day. A day you laugh because you "Thought you heard water dripping in the basement" but headed out to run anyway.
You Thank God the washer kicked the bucket right before the new one is delivered Wednesday.
You apologize to the hubby for his feelings getting hurt even though you still don't understand fully what you did wrong.
You smile every time you look outside at the blue sky and sunshine on a late October day when your toosh still hurts to run after 3 weeks.
And emotionally, I'm a hot mess, hormones are raging, my mind is racing, my heart hurts but you gotta pull up those BIG GIRL pants, Smile and keep going.

VELCRO:

a fastener for clothes or other items, consisting of two strips of thin plastic sheet, one covered with tiny loops and the other with tiny flexible hooks, which adhere when pressed together and can be separated when pulled apart deliberately.  

I needed to run early. Lacey needed to run early. Claudia needed to run.

We made arrangement to meet at my house to run at 11:30. It was 10:30 and I had to finish mopping, sweeping, get dressed, stretch, roll and remember to eat.

I was dressed in shorts and a tank top. Lacey came dressed capris and a jacket. She looked at me the same way I looked at her..half crazy. I think that is somewhere in the middle of crazy.

Our little tribe headed down E. Holly rd.

About a mile in, I spot this older guy driving real slow and looking in my direction. It was Jeff!

I motioned for him to pull over. I ran towards my favorite old timer and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He so stinking cute. I recognize that headband right away, he was heading out to run. Jeff always wears a headband when he runs. A very habitual man, borderline superstitious.

It didn't take much persuasion and he was parking his car at the elementary across the street and running with us.

“The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving.”

Look at those smiles!!

Jeff ran 3 miles with us.

We ran 10 miles total.

On our way back Claudia made a clever illustration. "Your like Velcro...." Claudia described how I pick people up as I run.

That thought had me thinking all day. Funny the people I pick up or pick me.   

They don't attach to me because of my checking account, the size of my home or the vehicle I drive. Because trust me, those might be less than somewhere in the middle! They don't attach to me because I am beautiful, famous or super intelligent, just the average joe.

I am not really sure why I have such amazing friends. I am circled around people that challenge me, accept me, love me, believe in me, laugh, cry and teach me.

I can look in any direction and find the most incredible friends. And I all I have to be is ME.

Quirky, mouthy, loud, even obnoxious at times, ditzy, high strung, sarcastic and the list goes on.

HOWEVER, then I have those who work harder at not attaching to me. I have people who are never going to be in my club. People who I actually work at trying winning over, that I have yearned to love me. And sometimes, for a split second I almost believe...

But you are just NEVER going to win everyone. Even the ones you think you should.

Somewhere in the middle you have to accept who you are, never accepting yourself "As is" but loving yourself in the process.

Appreciate those who attach to you. And let go of those that don't.

For that hour and a half, I ran in this group, all different, but each one brought laughter, love, support understanding, companionship to me.

I don't have much family left. But God circled me with friends that are like family. Family is a unit that doesn't need to share blood.

Somewhere in the middle. I am still blessed beyond. So grateful for those that God has attached me to.

RUNDOWN:

Distance:10 Miles

Pace: 9:24

Times:1h 34 min

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.” – Erma Bombeck

Anita~