No longer a Slave to Fear.

"I am not longer a slave to FEAR, I am a child of GOD."

The lyrics to this song is one of my favorites. With my eyes closed and my arms in the air I saturated myself in the lyrics. Tears streamed down my eyes during our worship music at church.

"I am NO longer a Slave to FEAR."

The song ended but the words still rang in my head. I grabbed my pen and notebook and wrote out "I am no longer a slave to ME FEAR.

Subconsciously, I wrote the word ME...I meant to write FEAR.

I was taken back by the mind of my pen. Why did I write "ME"?

Am I a slave to myself?

What am I afraid of with in myself?

This resonated with me, leaving me confused. Yet, at the same time...Fearless. Because I don't have to be afraid of myself. I am not a slave to FEAR.

My biggest fear prior to this song was running 30 miles today. And now I felt FEARLESS.

Total Sacrifice

I had a last minute change of plans. Wednesday night I got a reminder that I needed a 30 mile run. I had no one to run that with me. Saturday was the Crim and I was planning on running it at a fairly fast pace. The 30 mile run was way more important that running a fast Crim. I went to Andy and told him I would run it with him. He was pretty happy to hear that. I knew Lacey was racing and she had told me she didn't know how she would feel about our Sunday Runday. I was hoping someone would be able to run either Sunday or Monday long with me. At the last minute, Friday night Lacey shared she was going to run 22 miles with me....

The Goal:

• 30 miles:  Lacey offered to run 22 miles of it with me. 8 miles solo was doable.

Complications:

• We both ran the CRIM 10 miler on Saturday. Only I ran it, She RACED it.
• It was 85 degrees and 70% humidity when I started, MOSTLY Sunny.

RUNDOWN: I left my house at 11. By the time I came out of my garage I had to turn around and take my shirt off. It was a stinking inferno out. I carried my water bottle full of ice cubes, hoping it would last me 8 miles. Once I got to Laceys I knew I could refill it.

I was out of water and roasting when I arrived on Laceys back deck.

"Lacey we need a route that we can refill out water every 8 miles."

That was another plan that we had to add.

You cant fight genetics. I have gotten used to running in 80' & 90' weather. And I have also been running back to back long runs for weeks now.

"I just didn't want you to have to run alone on your long run." Lacey whimpered as the heat took the life out of her.

And had she not been so sacrificial, I would have.

You see, Lacey isn't training for anything. She didn't  need to run 22 miles with me. She definitely  didn't need to run 22 miles after RACING 10 miles of hills at the Crim.

Who does that?

I looked back at Lacey and she was done. Her pink compression socks were rolled down and she was sweating through her clothes. She NEVER sweats. She had ran 18 miles with me. Simply because she didn't want me to run alone.

As I looked at her, I had to look away. She Gave me EVERYTHING she had and then some just so I wouldn't be alone. She sacrificed her recovery for my long run.

"Lacey, Call it in. Let me run you back home, you do not need to run 22 with me."

She knew that was what had to be done but it was killing her.

"I'm running you back home, I need water anyway."

I was at 28 miles at her house. I felt great. "Lacey what's the longest route back to my house?"

30 miles was the goal. Now I wanted 32 miles.

Pure sun for over a mile. I smelled like road kill. My skin was sticky and clammy with sweat and salt.

Then came the hills. I was determined to finish my last couple miles out strong. I took advantage of the down hill and did my best with the up hills until walking was all I could do. A large gardener snake slithered across the road. I found myself 5 feet vertically in the air. I knew I had enough energy to get home by my response.

It was a perfect 32 mile run. Perfect distance. Tough run. Grateful for Lacey.

Distance: 32 miles

Pace: 10:12min/mi

Time: 5h 27min

Calories: 2461

No Longer a Slave to Fear. Letting things go. I find that most of the things that I am afraid of is created by ME. I create my own Fears. I was reminded "I am a Child Of God."
My confidence and security must lie in HIM, or I will always struggle with Fear.

Anita