Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The "F" word..Family and Forgiveness




 
F is the Letter of the DAY! Which is FUNNY because I just won a contest with the Oakland Press. You had to answer "What is one thing or way you have  overcome a FEAR?
I guess I made the Oakland Press this Sunday and 2 tickets to the Professional Bull Rider show at Joe Louis.

F: Family, Faith, Finish, Forgivenss


FINISH
FAITH
FAMILY
 
The snow came down without a pause. Out of the hold of the sky I wondered how much more was left in the hands of the holder.
In all its beauty, Fear of it's awe was at the surface. 
How could something so pure and majestic cause such destruction?
 
It was no doubt a Gym day. Mom and I cleaned Maw Maws house early. There are a few things every week I look forward to and seeing Maw Maw is one of those occasions.
 
I picked up Lacey to spoil her for the day. I wanted to take her to the athletic club.
When Lacey walked in she was like a kid in a candy store. As I spoke to her about what the gym offered she was out in left field soaking it up and taking it in.
 
My Schedule for us:
  1. Locker room to drop off bags, get towels, and get going
  2. Roll, stretch 10 minutes
  3. TRACK 70 minutes
  4. The cage, roll, stretch 5-10 min
  5. Cold Plunge: 15 minutes
  6. Hot tub: 5 minutes
  7. Shower:
  8. Sauna: to warm up, still cold from the cold plunge!
RUNDOWN
Distance: 7 miles
We ran 1 mile W/U then the next 5 miles we added a fartlek on the 3rd lap. 7th mile cool down @ 8min mile.
Great Run, Lotta fun.
 
A Little Piece of Me: Forgivenss
It was a rough night. I have no idea what happened. My good friend Terri asked me for prayers today because she was struggling with her teenager. I had no Idea that I should have asked for prayers too.
Austin, had a melt down on the way home from basketball and Alec flipped his lid on the way to basketball.
I lost my temper with Austin. I heard him speaking to me in a language that was foreign. I knew the language but I forgot the pain. I wanted to knock his teeth in. I found myself having an out of body experience. I tried and tried to remain calm and show wisdom but then like a carbonated drink being shook, I just exploded. I am not Mother of the year by any means. I hate seeing myself out of control.
I settled down and told Austin to go to his room, repeatedly. I could tell he was being fueled by the emotion that had erupted on both parties.
He is so much like me it is frightening. I hurt for him.
30 minutes later as I was putting the finishing touches on dinner he stood so tall in the hall. He looked down at me with blood shot eyes and remorse. "Mom, is it too late to say I am sorry."
Again, my heart hurt for him. Taking a second to think of the right words, He continued "Mom, You didn't deserve to wait for me for 20 minutes and you didn't deserve the things that I said to you...."
"Thank you Austin, I forgive you, I am sorry I lost my temper, I love you."
We just stared at each other.
"Mom, you wanna give me a hug?"
"Ha ha, You should be giving me a hug."
And with tears in my eyes, Austin wrapped those big arms around me.
 
Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done. It gives so many rewards and so many regrets. There is no guarantee to good parenting. But you just never stop. I thank God my kids ask for forgiveness and I thank God my kids forgive me.
I am far from perfect and I also Thank God he humbles me and reminds me "My righteousness is of filthy rags."
 
Anita
 
 

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