Past Denial

It was about 4pm and I was driving back to White Lake to pick Austin up from his job. I had been on the go all day.
Austin got his first paycheck and wanted to spend some of it. After he got in the car we headed to the bank. I wanted Austin to learn a little money management.

• Give God some
• Save some
• Spend some

With money in his new account and money in his pocket, we headed to Tillys to spend a little!

The best route to get to that side of town is to go through Pontiac.
As we drove down Walton Blvd so many memories crossed my mind.
"Austin, do you remember going this way to see grandma?" I asked
"Yes, mom." He replied out of love. I think Austin was just being sensitive to seeing me reminiscing.

I counted all the miles I had drove to get Austin where he needed to be and the ones yet to do.

• 7:30am I picked him up at the high school from lifting.
• Drove him to White Lake to work
• Picked him back up at 3:30
• Drove him to Bank
• Drove him to Mall
• Drove him home then to CC
• Pick him up from CC.

Going down memory lane I had another thought. "Austin, You know how lucky you are?" I continued. "When I was a kid I couldn't do any sports. The little bit that I did, I couldn't count on my mom to pick me up."
I explained to him how my mom wasn't dependable. I would wait for sometimes 2 hours for my mom to pick me up. If she showed up she was 2 sheets to the wind. Most of the time my grandma showed up.
Driving through Pontiac brought back many memories of being a child. I looked around as I drove towards Baldwin Rd.
How did I escape this? The brokenness, the drugs, the alcohol, the confusion?
By the Grace of GOD.
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I saw Clint for PT at 1pm. "Anita, How are you doing?"
"UGH..We have to get this show on the road, This stinks, I am so upset."
Clint very seriously responded "Hmm, Well, you know the stages of Grief?'
"Yes, Elisabeth Kubler Ross, I know them, I am in between Anger and Depression." I whined.
"Well, at least you are past Denial!"

I am PAST Denial! He even had me on the Altra G treadmill. He had me run on the anti gravity machine. I only ran a mile and could feel it creeping up. Without much thought I turned it off and unzipped myself out.

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Anita