Afraid to RUN

For years now I have done nothing but look forward to running. I plan the run, the route, the clothing, I check the weather and find myself itching to lace up my shoes.
It makes my day before I even get out of bed.

Having a injury where you can not run or are uncomfortable to run disturbs almost every fiber of your being.
I am off balance in every way.
I am way more emotional.
I think far to much, overthinking things that I would otherwise "Let Go and Let God".
I lost my routine.
I lost part of my identity.
I have lost part of my joy.
I have lost my running companions.

I thought the best way to heal my injury would be to take a 2 week hiatus from running.

Not running does not mean sitting on the couch with a bag of Chicago style pop corn..
I run so I can sit on the couch and eat that.

It means we find a new routine:

• I have done more biking in the last week than I have done in the last 5 years.
• I have continued to go to the gym to do alternative cardio and exercises.  
• Icing for NO LESS than 15 minutes with every work out.
• Doubling up on my Juice Plus and Juice Plus complete for healing.
• Healthier options for bed time munchies.
• Doubled up on my prayers

I have really tried to have all my bases covered.

Today, I met with Clint V for physical therapy.

"I took 2 weeks off from running..."
Clint just stares at you before he speaks. This makes me nervous for what he is going to say.
"Well, I would run and see how it feels." He casually says.
I thought I would get personal with my response, " So would YOU run?'
Without hesitation he replied "Yes, I would run and if it hurts stop."

Leaving the office I suddenly got scared. In my car ride back home my hands were sweaty on the steering wheel.

• What if the pain shows up?
• What if I can't run?

Each of those thoughts had a dozens sideways thoughts attached to it. My head was spinning. I was scared to death to see how my body responded to running.

I headed to the gym. The plan was to try and do 3 miles. I would run on the track. I wanted the feeling of running free. Not confined to the treadmill. I wanted to feel the air brush pass my skin. my hair to flow behind me. I wanted to see my body propel forward.
"Please God...." I prayed.

I was having cold feet.

I took off like a bat out of hell.
It didn't take 10 feet before I felt my knee aching.
It wasn't my IT band though. I kept running. The pain was more on my knee cap.
1 mile down. My chest was heavy. There is nothing like RUNNING. The hair on my arms stood up as my body moved forward. Slowly the pain in my knee was gone. I waited for my It band to flare up. Waiting waiting waiting..
My lungs were burning.
My left foot was even beginning to nag me.
But I kept going. It was so invigorating. I wanted to go faster. I wanted to go harder.
1, 2 3 miles... I DID IT. NO, IT Band pain.

I am still a little skeptical. Is it too good to be true?
As for the knee pain. I believe it is a result from countless lunges and squats over the last 2 weeks.

I am not sure. But I am grateful.
Thursdays are usually run days for me. I am going to try again tomorrow. I will go a lot slower. I may even add some walk breaks in there to be smart.


I don't want to get stuck on stupid. Running fast, running long and running hills are the 3 worst things you can to do when recovering from an IT band injury.
I am my worst enemy. Injury will humble you. But staying humble takes work.

Anita