And It HITS you.

And it HITS you just like that. Its like you finally catch air. You discover a little life. You inhale a little breath. You move 2 steps forward. Not the same as before but you are moving. You are breathing again. You even find the corners of your mouth genuinely smiling. You feel that deep guttural laugh you thought you would never feel again escape you.
And it HITS you.
It is like a deer, by the time you see her it is too late.
It is grief. It is heart wrenching, gut pounding, hurtful, so hurtful. It is beauty and it is pain.
It is confusing and it is peaceful.

It is one of the moments. I smiled today. I laughed today. I was engaged and alive.
And it HIT me, It sideswiped me. I saw it out of the corner of my eye. I could have even avoided it. But I didn't.
I let it hit me. I invited the heartache. I felt her. I touched her for just a brief second. I smelled her hair. I ran my fingers through her hair. I looked at the big brown eyes. I heard her laughter. I could see every detail of her. I saw her mascara slightly smudgy with perfection. Her lips were glossy and soft. Her skin was bronze and glowing. I heard her, "Aunt Nita.." I heard her. I heard her.
But she was calling me from heaven. So far away....

Oh Glorious Heaven. The Angels Embrace her beauty. She shines from above. She Dances in the Sky.

My Angel

This video really touched me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNoLJy68ZcE

Missing my Ariel.