Friday, April 18, 2014

FEAR: Walking on Water

I received a text message from Karen M. a couple days ago. "You have to be nervous, I know your FAITH is helping with any FEAR but people are NOT God Fearing."
TROTTON PARK WALTHAM MA.


Karen is right, People do things that I can not control. I can be as God fearing and faithful as I can be but have to make responsible choices and trust God in it all. I can not control or predict what others will do who are not God fearing.
Earlier this week there was an incident with a "Hoax device" at the Boston marathon finish line. This rattled me pretty bad.
Then today Hal Higdon posted on Twitter "Just evacuated #Boston Marathon at expo over. False alarm?"
Nervous, concerned...quite honestly, Yes. For me, for my family and for the ones I love that would worry when they read the news. Alec, is so worried. Last night at Wonderworks there were big booms in the building. This completely drained the color from his face. His fear overcame him as he looked for the exits. "Mom, what is that noise? MOM, what is THAT?"
To see your son so fearful hurts you.

I believe that the Lord is calling me to walk on water. I believe that he calls you to walk on water as well. I believe that he's leading me across the finish line of this among many things. The Boston Marathon is one of those. I hear his spirit asking me to step into his glory in Faith.
I look across the waters and feel fear first. My heart skips a beat, my palms begin to sweat, my eyes fill with tears, I am overcome by the emotion of fear. I struggle trying to balance it with faith.

It is more than 26.2 miles. It is the unknown of others. It is fear of the uncontrollable circumstances.

I see myself sinking in fear, and I even see others I love sinking along side of me.

I hear myself saying "What if God..."
I look out across the waters as they crash into me. I hear God whispering, "Anita, you have come this far with me..Take my hand."

Turning around I see the boat too far to go back. I see my losses, losing Ariel, last years tragic Boston Marathon, I see painful training runs, sleepless nights and how God kept me above the waves.

I hear him in my fear calling me forward.
In my human brokenness, I still feel fear. But I go out in Faith that God will carry me through my fears.
It isn't denying my fear that keeps me afloat.
It is Faith in God to overcome those fears.

It is knowing God is beckoning us to Greatness. He has "Great and Mighty Things" for us. He wants to show us things that will take a little FEAR to overcome. But it is dying to ourselves and looking across the waters in his direction. Sometimes it is walking out unto calm waters and sometimes it is walking out into the crashing waves.

The Boston Marathon is more than just an event. It is a special piece of me. Last year this marathon engraved itself into my heart. The Boston Marathon has my Heart. Yes, It even has my fears. So many will run this marathon and leave all their fears at the starting line with me. We will all step across that starting line in Faith of our own desires. In Faith of something beautiful, full of love, peace and hope.



I haven't ran in 3 days. I asked Austin if he would run a couple miles with me. We found a park about a quarter mile up the road. It was a evil beastly incline! The path literally went straight up! We only ran 2 miles. It was a scenic run with cut out trails off the road. It was also a exhausting run!

Summer made a Picture Poster for me!! She even put me in in Green my favorite color!

Matthew 14:25-31And in the fourth watch of the night he [Jesus] came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid."

Anita




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