Be Still ..

I Don't Know.

Maybe it is turning 40.
Maybe it is my years running.
Maybe it is my injuries.
Maybe I just never noticed.

Most runs I feel a tweak, a cramp, a annoyance of one sort of another within my body.
I do not run pain free.

Some days it is the pain in my knees that are unavoidable.
Some days it is the pains in my heart that is uncontrollable.
Some days it is the pain in my head that is unmanageable.

Most days there is some degree of hurt.

But I run. I laugh when I hear people say "I can Not Run.." Because of some pain or another.

I wouldn't trade any of those pains in .
I am grateful for all of them.
With each pain has come a blessing. God has used my pain to provide encouragement to some one else.

I remember sitting in the glider rocker with the bible on my lap crying and begging God for answers.
Day after day after day. Week after week after week.
How could I tear my ACL 2 times in less than 1 year?
Did He not want me to run?  Why wouldn't He just answer me?
And then He did.
"BE STILL" is what I heard. I also tried to ignore.
I sat there for the 2nd time waiting for God to do a miracle in my body. I prayed and waited.
My phone hardly rang. Very few people came to visit me. I was so alone. I could hear them whispering "Well, maybe it is time to give up running..."
Was God whispering this too and I was ignoring him?
Depression saturated me as the days turned to weeks. I was immobile and alone.

SINCE THEN: I have ran Boston 2 times, Chicago, Detroit, Bayshore and last year my first Ultra. Where I surprised myself crossing the finish line 1st female overall. God was NOT surprised.

I believe if it is something that you are passionate about you should not give up. I had NO idea God would take me to those races I have ran.
As I sat rocking myself out of a pit I never saw Gods plans for my passion. Satan wanted to use my injury and keep me mentally  handicapped.

I am So Thankful for that "Still" time. In that quiet place I realized I am nothing without HIM. I Need Him to make me whole. I need Him to help me recover. In my nothing state I was reminded HE is My Everything.
That NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE without HIM.

RUNDOWN:
Distance: 18 miles
Great Group Run at Indian Spring.
Feeling Grateful.

Anita