Saturday, December 28, 2013

A little piece of me. 9 years ago.

9 years ago I was celebrating my sister in laws birthday at her house. Our entire family was over. Andy was working yet another 12 hour shift at the hospital. I was used to always going to family events with the boys and no husband. It was my life. Andy worked 60-70 hours a week.
I didn't like it but it was all I knew. After all I was fortunate that I had a husband that worked hard and took care of his family.
"Nita, where is Andy?" everyone would ask.
"Oh, he is working." I would say robotic like.
I was beginning to get insecure with all the hours that he was putting in. I felt like everyone was looking at me like they knew something I didn't. I could see it in their eyes. The piercing eyes of judgment. Or maybe it was my insecurity just permeating my thoughts.

It was this day, this evening at almost this exact time Andy was home waiting for me to arrive from the birthday party.
He brought me down to the basement to speak to me without the kids. His mom and dad showed up upon his call.
Confused and scared I followed down to the finished basement.
With tears in his eyes he got on one knee and began to tell me of a man I did not know. A man that I was married to and was living a double life.
My world came crumbling down.


Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 COR 5:17
 
That was a long time ago. But to look back on that evening I am moved to tears.
I am simply amazed that God could take that Broken man, that God could take our Broken marriage and put it back together.
How God could turn my husband into the man he is.
I am so thankful God put my crumbled world back together better than I could have ever thought.

When I look at my husband today I see a Man that OVERCAME.
I Look in his heart and see his fears and see the strength he takes EVERY day to continue to overcome them.
I see a Man of Integrity and Honor.
I see a man of Faith and Love.
I see a man that would fight all of hell for his family and not himself.
He was once enslaved to addiction. It owned him. It controlled him. It hijacked him in everyway.
It stole his joy, his family, his job, his love, his emotions. It robbed him of life with no remorse. That is what addiction does. It does not feel guilty as it strips life from you slowing digging your grave.

The road has not been easy. It has quite honestly been very difficult. But it has been worth it. I believe in Andy MORE than anyone. I see his heart. I see his struggles. I watch him try and grit it out. He would not be alive had he continued down that path.
He is Alive..
I will never let myself forget that day.
I wish people knew how important a "Clean Date" was to a person in recovery.

It is more than just a DATE.

It is LIFE.

It is sad we do not Encourage one another the way we should. Take the time to Encourage someone you know that has OVERCOME. Words are powerful.

Anita


5 comments:

  1. So powerful, you have both over come your struggles and are stronger now more than ever. Congrats to the BOTH of you! I can't begin to image what you have had to go through as the strong supporter, or what he has struggled through. My heart is so happy for your second chance at life, and that you both took it! Continue to be strong! Carri~A Running bee

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    1. Carri,
      Thank you. It is feels foreign to have someone tell me congrats for overcoming with Andy. I always forget how much I had to work at. This is probably part of the codependence just trying to keep the edges smooth. Family members are the lost and unnoticed ones often and that is fine. But we really are their biggest fans and structure to lean on. I am So thankful that together we BOTH worked hard in unchartered territories. Crazy how addiction came bear its face unnoticed years later. I never saw it coming. And it came so different than anything I had known.

      Thank yOU Carri!

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  2. Amen!!!! Thanks for sharing... in sharing struggles, others can feel like they can overcome as well! Praise God for U-Turns

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    1. Thank You Rebecca. I get nervous about being too transparent. But I am encouraged when a followed shares the words that you share. Your response allows me to feel more comfortable sharing in such an uncomfortable topic~
      Have a Blessed day!

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  3. This is a beautiful story of Christ's redemptive power! I am glad I decided to get caught up on your posts! So often, Believer's put on a front of perfection - but the true power is not in perfection, but in the ability to overcome imperfection! I wish everyone would be more transparent!!

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