Thursday, September 19, 2013

Kicked out.

Another emotional day. It has been over 20 years since my mother passed away. There were many years that I would go through several weeks of feeling "Off" only to correlate it with the approaching anniversary of her D****. (I hate that word) I have been pretty good around people. You wouldn't know that I am all tore up inside. But when I am alone I feel it creeping over me. The sadness of Ariel.
This morning I was really looking forward to seeing Danielle. I miss running with her. I miss our sweet time together. She is very good for me. Together we had a great run.
I wish the rest of the day went as well.
I had a good size hiccup in my day. I decided to go home and find therapy in painting. I really wanted to run again but I knew that I might do irreversible damage.
I put my ear buds in and turned up the tunes.
I LOVE music. I get saturated to the words, I feel my shoulders dipping, my voice singing and my mood rising. I quickly turned the song if it was too emotional. I had white paint every where. But my mind was like a blank slate. I had the music up so loud I couldn't hear the phone ring or anyone text me. I was officially in "The Nothing Box."

I just cant help Baby-ing him. So Cute!
Alec had a dentist appointment today. He was having one of his baby teeth removed. Before we arrived he told me I was NOT to leave him. We had just been there yesterday, where he had another baby tooth removed. I had gone to schedule some appointments and they took the tooth out within minutes of my departure. Alec didn't even know that they took the tooth out!
While I sat with Alec the female dentist comes  in and says to me "Ok mom, you may leave now we will get you when we are done." Alec looked petrified.
It was only minutes before they came back and retrieved me. But the dentist actually pulled me aside and said "He is a big boy mom, you don't have to baby him."
I never thought of myself as the babying mom type. It is a sad place when your baby doesn't need to be babied any longer.


One lesson I have learned from running: FLEXIBILITY.
"The only thing that is the End of the World is the END of the World!
 

When it comes to training not everyday goes as scheduled. Sometimes the weather changes. Sometimes my mood changes. Sometimes life interrupts. But if you take a minute to look outside the box most of the time you can find another route. And sometimes, not all the time but sometimes, things even work out better,
But when we get "Stuck on Stupid" we set ourselves up. We end of disappointed, discouraged and often times suck the fun right out of our training.
This goes for life in general also. Maybe it is having kids that has made me more flexible.  Or maybe it is because I have become less serious about non serious issues. I watch people set such rigid guidelines that they can hardly keep them themselves. They get so caught up on perfectionism that they actually hurt themselves and people around them. They panic when things do not go as planned and can not even see themselves out of it.

It is always good to have a PLAN.
But it is also good to be open minded to CHANGE.

THE RUNDOWN:
Distance: 8.02
Pace: 8:44
Easy run with Danielle. Forgot to eat afterwards. So I made an over sized dinner. Grilled Chicken marinated in Italian dressing, Corn, Garlic baked Redskin potatoes, biscuits, Garden salad, and cottage cheese.


Are YOU Flexible?
Are you the type of runner that likes to run alone because you don't want anyone to mess with you routine, pace, or distance?

Anita

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