Moments.

I look forward all week to go run out at Indian Springs. I love Thursday mornings. And I love my company. I miss Katie meeting up with us but  I  look forward to seeing Danielle.

It was very cold out there today. No matter how well you dress for 38 degrees it still does not prepare you for what the temperatures do to the body. 
It seems to take longer to warm up and the wind takes your breath away. But it is all worth it, the cold, the chill, the wind, and the grey gloomy sky is better than being at home in my own head.
Having Danielle there running next to me helps me decompress and wash away my sadness for the moment.
A moment that last longer in my heart. A moment that speaks volumes to me.
We saw a few deer out there in the woods. They just casually turned around and looked at us. It was beautiful.
Danielle was having a tough time but I thought she was doing good. My first 3 miles I was having a hard time as well. I was seeing spots and having a hard time focusing. I just tried to talk and not let Danielle know that something was happening to me. I tried not to panic but was scared I was going to faint. After mile 3 it went away. I don't know why that happens to me. But it went away.
Danielle was frustrated with her body and her time.
The mind can really mess with you. GRACE.
We have to give ourselves grace.
Whether we are coming off an injury like Danielle or we are injured like I feel, we have to give our selves GRACE. It is always important to strive for better but it is hard to move forward when we have been injured. I know it takes time. But right now that is all I know.

It was a decent day with difficult moments.
I laughed a little and a cried a lot.
I miss hearing from Ariel. I always sent her a little text, or a little message. I would "Like" her Facebook status or write a little something on her wall. I just wanted her to know that I was thinking about her all the time. 
But I would hear back from her. It might take a day or two but I always heard from her. It will be 3 weeks tomorrow that I have not heard from her. It hurts so bad. My eyes are filled with tears thinking about the loss I feel. A part of me has died, DIED. She always called or text me. I got nothing.

I feel bad it is Andys birthday and here I am. I made him a great dinner and went to Oliver T's for dessert but emotionally I am not a happy gift. I started crying just picking up Andy's birthday dessert. The last time I bought a hodgepodge of different desserts I had Ariel with me. We got 5 different desserts from Oliver T's and jumped into my bed with the boys and Andy and all grabbed one. It seemed like just yesterday.
I tried so hard but Andy could tell it was a rough day. No matter how hard I tried to smile through the tears Andy could just tell.

Going to bed.. Not looking forward to Friday. Tomorrow is week 3. I hate Fridays
Anita