Camping out in the land of Disappointments.

Back to life. Sunny and bright skies made movements a little easier.  "Danielle" my running partner injured herself raking leaves. Being a runner it just seems mean to get injured by anything but running!
So I was a solo runner.
After getting the kids off to school I started my morning reading the rest of "Samson" in  Judges.
From there my feet hit the floor and went on auto pilot.

I got 2 phone calls today.
"Holly" my dear friend from high school who called to check on me. This meant so much to me. Holly is very wise and even keel. She is good at keeping me grounded and looking at the bigger picture even when I don't want to.
"Becca" is one of my nieces. I debated on answering the phone because I am in a funky place. But I did and I am so glad I did. I spoke to "Becca" for almost an hour, till I had to let her go in order for me to get my run in. She is questioning God and her existence. "What is the point? Life is so hard and I do not see it getting any easier."
I shared Gods promises and memorized scripture to encourage her and help her look at this life from a different perspective.
Sometimes we have to take our self out of the equation. We have to look at other people and their needs, their hurts and see how blessed we are. Even in our deepest grief God gives us opportunity to heal by helping and encouraging someone else. It is not easy but I find so much healing in dying to myself in my greatest affliction and wiping someone else's tears.
We are only here on earth for a blink in time. We are going to suffer, we are going to hurt, we are going to be disappointed and discouraged. This world is going to kick our teeth in, we are going to suffer loss and wonder how we are going to make it through the day but this life is just a stepping stone for a eternity in HEAVEN.

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh." 2 Corinthians 4:8-11 

The last four weeks I have found myself in the land of disappointment many times. I know the terrain well. I grew up very familiar with disappointment's and discouragements. I jump on the train of Gratitude and Grace to escape this bitter land but somehow find myself camping back out there all over again. 

People are going to hurt you. People are going to disappoint you. I have been terribly hurt by the loss of Ariel and with open wounds of grief I am so confused by the behavior of people.
 "Expectations are Premature Resentments."  This to me means I have to let go of my expectations of people. People are going to hurt me, often not intentionally. They are absorbed in their own pain and I am caught in the cross fire. So I not only remove my expectations of people I also have to lovingly DETACH. I have to love those people from a distance. I have to set up  healthy boundaries that are going to protect me and prevent me from getting bitter, hurt, and all the emotional garbage that goes along with being disappointed. I can not control what others do to me but I can control my response to them. But it is not easy for this little Mexican hot head so I practice:

• Removing Expectations
• Detaching in Love
• Setting Healthy Boundaries
• Seeking God for Strength, Wisdom and Direction 

 

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I took Sheba for a 5 mile run. My little boxer is a beast! She did great except for when a little ankle biter was walking his owner in our direction... I tightened the reins on Sheba's leash but I didn't get a good enough grip and she lunged towards this little dog just feet from us. I lost my balance and flew through the air trying hard to retrieve not just myself but my pride. I would have looked better just letting myself stumble and fall then the circus act I did trying to prevent myself from falling!

I am so excited to try some new running treats. I finally found the "Stinger Waffles". I think I will have to try them Sunday after my long run!

My Grocery basket. Stinger Waffles and Justin's individual Peanut butter packets! YUM!

I had a nice visit with "CHARLIE" Ariel's boyfriend. We met for a quick cup of coffee. I wanted to check on him and make sure he was doing well. He is a good guy and I believe he is going to be Ok.
The ARIEL CHALLENGE: Find one thing everyday you are Thankful for. Even in our Grief let us be reminded to find GRATITUDE.

What or Who are your Thankful for? Are camping in the land of disappointments or are you on the train to Gratitude and Grace?

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Anita